Always
by ECaitlin
Summary: Whether you want to love, or you fight against it, when you do fall in love, it stays with you: Always. Full summary inside. Just give it a chance.
1. First Encounters

**Always  
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**Honestly, I'm not too good with summing things up, so just give it a chance!  
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**Description: Sirius black isn't the type of guy who falls in love. It's not because he's heartless, he just doesn't see the point of commitment, and fights it at any cost. Elli, after being abandoned by both her parents and her foster family, can't seem to really open up and trust anyone. Why should she, after everything she's been through? And Lupin may be open to love, long for it, even, but it's not something he can allow himself to do. Being a werewolf isn't exactly a quality most women look for in a man. Melissa knows Remus likes her, and she's liked him for a long time. Yet he just won't let her be there for him, no matter how much she wants to be.**

**Yet despite these problems, you can't fight falling in love, which these helpless Hogwarts students learn during their seventh year. Sometimes love just happens.  
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**Elli's Point Of View**

I stared up at the red steam engine in front of me. The platform was crowded, as it had been every one of the seven years I'd been attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

There were tearful students saying goodbye to their parents and younger siblings. Clutching each other and saying final goodbyes.

There was the old students who were used to parting for school by now and were instead rushing to embrace their friends.

And then there was me, standing alone and clutching my bags tightly in my hand. The only welcoming embrace I got was from the steam that came out of the train. The only thing to say goodbye to was the platform itself.

I was used to that by now, though. The only time I'd had anyone to say goodbye to was my first year, when the Corwell's came to see me off. The Corwell's were the family that had adopted me. I didn't know where my parents were, nor did I know if they were even alive. All I knew was that they weren't there.

But the Corwell's had been there. At least, at first. They took me in at age six, after finding me in an old orphanage. They took care of me for five wonderful years, treating my like their own daughter. They were the closest I'd ever had to a real family. To real parents.

But when I got my acceptance letter to Hogwarts, they were scared. Scared of me, and what they thought I could do. But they loved me, and fought against their own problems to keep me happy. They accompanied me to Platform 9 and 3/4, smiling and hugging me goodbye.

But when I returned to the platform months later, it wasn't the Corwell's who greeted me. Instead it was an older man, one who ran an group home for older children. He wasn't told what I was, of course. All he knew was that the Corwell's said that they couldn't deal with me anymore.

From that year on, I went to the platform myself and returned to no one.

With a sigh, I hoisted my bags onto the train in the compartment where all our luggage was to go, leaving only my small carry on bag with me. I entered the part of the train that held the students' compartments, knowing that searching for a place to sit during the long ride would be hard.

After seven years you'd think that everyone would already have a set place to sit each ride, but I didn't. Every year I just placed myself in what ever compartment was free enough.

It's not that I didn't have friends. I just didn't have _close_ friends. I was nice to people, and they were kind in turn, but there was not a single person I could turn to and tell all my secrets to, or expect to save me a seat in the Great Hall.

And I preferred it that way.

I walked past the Prefect compartment, which wasn't really an option, given I wasn't a Prefect. After that, I passed a few compartments filled with Slytherins. Being not only a Gryffindor, but one who didn't have proof of their magical ancestry, those weren't exactly options either.

I passed by a few more compartments, but they were all full. Finally, I caught a break when I walked by one that only had two people in it.

I knew who they were, of course. Sirius Black was famous at Hogwarts, along with his three best friends. But only one of those friends was with him now. James Potter and Remus Lupin had both been in the Prefects compartment.

Petigrew looked asleep, his large, round head leaning on the window. Sirius, on the other hand, was sprawled out, taking up one whole bench seat to himself.

I knocked lightly on the door to the compartment. Peter didn't move at all, and Sirius just raised his eyebrows at me.

I opened the door, feeling a little nervous. They'd probably just tell me to go away. Usually the only people the Marauders, that's what Sirius and his friends called their little group,sit with them was each other, with the exception of Lily Evans, who was currently dating James.

"Do you mind if I ride with you?" I asked quietly, not wanting to wake up the sleeping Peter.

Sirius looked at me for a few moments, seeming to take my question into extreme consideration.

"I suppose you'd be better company than that." He said, gesturing to Peter who, at Sirius's words, let out a loud snore.

"Thank you." I said, and gingerly sat myself down on the bench seat that Peter was on, careful to sit close to the door so that I didn't disturb him.

I started pulling a book out of my bag wanting something to do other than stare at the wall. Or Sirius. Not that staring at Sirius would be terrible. He was obviously handsome. Any girl at Hogwarts would tell you so. It was something about him... maybe the smoldering grey eyes, or the dark hair that fell just right...

But no, I wasn't the type of girl to obsess over a boy, especially one who'd never given me the time of day before.

"You're actually going to read?" Sirius asked after a minute or so of silence.

I looked up at him over my book. He looked annoyed.

"Yes." I said simply, and went back to reading.

* * *

><p><strong>Sirius's Point of View<strong>

I stared at the girl, I believe her name was Elli, who had just entered my compartment. I knew of her, of course. She was a fellow seventh year Gryffindor, but we hadn't actually spoken before, really. I let her sit with us, though, because without James, things were rather boring.

Yet she didn't talk, or smile at me, or hit on me or any of the things that a normal girl would have done. She just sat there and read, as if she was oblivious to my presence. I wasn't used to that, when it came to girls.

Not that I was overly cocky, but I'd be lying if I said the girls didn't adore me.

"What are you reading?" I asked her after a few minutes silence.

"What?" She asked, peeking her head over the book. "Oh," She said, turning it over and glancing at the front of it. For some reason she blushed. "It's nothing, really."

I sat up, curious. "If it's nothing then why won't you tell me what it is?" I asked her.

She bit her lip, looking nervous and embarrassed. "It's not really important, that's all." She said quietly.

I leaned over and quickly snatched the book out of her hands. It wasn't exactly polite, but I was too curious to care.

I stared at it for a few moments, reading from the part that she was at. When I'd read all I needed to, I let out a laugh.

"Is this an erotic novel?" I asked her, making her blush even more.

She stood up and grabbed the book, looking angry. "It's not!" She protested. "It just has erotic _parts_." She corrected. "There's a completely solid plot behind it."

"It's always the ones who look innocent." I laughed. If I hadn't had proof that she was actually reading book-porn, I wouldn't have believed it. She looked so innocent, with her long blonde hair and blue eyes and kind, heart-shaped face.

"It's not book porn!" She shouted, waking Wormtail.

"What about porn?" He asked sleepily. He rubbed at his eyes for a second before yawning. "I thought Moony told you to keep your magazines put away until we got to school."

Elli raised her eyebrows at me. "And you accused me of being a pervert!" She said, laughing.

"Having a healthy sexual appetite isn't perverted, it's normal." I told her. "And I don't _have_ any dirty magazines, Wormtail."

Peter rubbed his eyes again, finally awake. "Moony's not here, you don't have to lie."

I threw my hands up in frustration. "Does everyone think I'm a pervert?"

Elli gave a small laugh, but when I glared at her, she quickly hid behind her book.

I narrowed my eyes at her, annoyed. At that moment, Remus opened the compartment door.

"Sit up, Sirius." He said, closing the door behind him. "Lily and James will be here in a minute. You can't have the whole seat to yourself."

"There's room over there." I muttered, gesturing to the spot between Wormtail and the blonde girl.

"Oh, hello Elli." Moony said, giving the girl a smile.

"Hello, Remus." She replied with a small smile.

"You two know each other?" I asked, stifling a yawn. Elli nodded. "Did you know she enjoys book porn?"

"I do not!" She shouted, standing up.

Remus looked annoyed, but also a little embarrassed. "Don't listen to Sirius. When things get bored he makes things up."

Elli narrowed her eyes at me. "I'd appreciate it if you'd let me continue reading without interrupting me again." She said coldly, and after that she was silent.

For some reason, this, coupled with the haughty expression on her face, annoyed me. Most girls would have laughed, or something. But she just sat there, annoyed with me. It took me completely off guard.

* * *

><p><strong>Melissa's Point of View<strong>

"What do you mean there's no room left?" I asked my friend, Angela. I narrowed my eyes at her. "You promised that you'd save me a seat after my Prefects meeting!"

"I'm sorry, Melissa." Angela said. She looked guilty. "I forgot."

"Great!" I huffed. "I guess I'll find somewhere else to sit."

And with that I stormed off. I was annoyed, of course. Friends were _supposed_ to save seats for each other. But now I had no where to go.

I walked up the corridor of the train, looking in all the compartments until I found one with an empty seat. It wasn't until I came to the one where Remus Lupin sat with his friends that I had any luck.

Without knocking, I opened the door, a smile on my face.

"Can I sit with you guys? Angela forgot to save me a seat." I said, giving Remus a hopeful smile.

"It'll be a tight fit once Lily and James get here, but it's fine." Remus said, returning the smile.

"And if it comes down to it, my lap is always free." Sirius said with a wink.

"I know where you've been, Sirius, so no thank you." I replied with a laugh, settling in between Lupin and Sirius. "Can you believe this is our last year?" I asked them.

"Not at all. I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself when it's all over." Sirius said. "But I think the most pressing issue is what everyone at Hogwarts is going to do when I'm not there to entertain them anymore."

Remus and I rolled our eyes, but Peter laughed. A snort of disbelief came from behind a book in the corner.

"Who's that?" I asked, gesturing at the barely visible blonde head.

"Eleanor Mason." Remus told me. "She's in our year, and –,"

"I know who she is." I said, cutting him off. "How are you, Elli? Did you have a good summer?"

"Not really, no." She replied.

Most people would have said yes, even if it wasn't true. Yet, from what I've gathered from the years, Elli didn't really care if what she said wasn't expected.

"That's unfortunate." Sirius said, laughing.

"And apparently funny." Elli put in, not looking up from her books.

"So," I said, wanting to quickly put out any fight that could spring up. "Who would have thought James would be Head Boy!"

"No one." Peter said, earning himself a laugh from Sirius.

"Honestly, I thought you would get it Remus." I said, turning all my attention to him.

He shrugged. "I wouldn't want that much responsibility anyways."

"I still think you would have done a good job." I said with a smile.

"Remus has got a girlfriend!" Sirius mock-whispered to Peter.

"Just because I'm nice doesn't mean I _like_ him." I said, annoyed.

I expected Lupin to laugh, or look annoyed too, but instead he just looked upset.

"Not that I don't like you, Lupin!" I said quickly.

God, I was an idiot. That's exactly what you do when you like a boy: Tell them you most certainly don't. That'll get you places for sure.

I mentally slapped myself but, since I couldn't think of anything to take back what I'd said, I just sat there quietly, which was really out of character for me.

* * *

><p><strong>Lupin's Point of View<strong>

I tried to give Melissa a quick smile, to know that it wasn't _her_ that had upset me, but I was too late and she'd already turned away from me, looking distraught.

I hadn't been upset about her saying she didn't like it. It was the fact that, even if she did, nothing could come of it. It wasn't like a werewolf could just _date. _

No, I couldn't have it that easy.

If she even knew what I was she probably wouldn't even be sitting in the same compartment with me, let alone sitting _next_ to me.

I watched Melissa tuck a piece of her black hair behind her ear as she engaged Elli in conversation. Elli must have said something funny because Melissa's unusual blue-grey eyes sparkled and she let out a laugh that I couldn't help but smile at.

Maybe if I hadn't been infected. Maybe then I could have asked Melissa out on a date. I'd been crushing on her for long enough.

There was something about her care-free attitude that I like. She was bold, unlike myself. If she thought something, more often then not she would voice it. Or the fact that she was always with her friends laughing at something.

She wasn't moody, like most girls. And for some reason she seemed to like me most of all out of all of the Marauders, which was uncommon. Most girls preferred Sirius, because of his good looks, or James, who was definitely charming.

But she seemed to like my company better.

Which was unfortunate for her, and me. The more time she spent around me, the more I found myself enjoying spending time with her. Last year we'd spent a lot of time together during the Prefects meetings.

But nothing more could ever come of it. Because then I'd have to tell her the truth, and the truth would ruin what little friendship we have going.

"Stop looking so depressed, Moony." Sirius said, looking annoyed. "We're almost to Hogwarts."

"Because sharing a room with _you_ for an entire year is definitely something I should be cheerful about." I joked, hiding the fact that I was still upset.

I'd been dealing with this for years. You'd think I'd get used to the fact that I couldn't live a normal life, but I couldn't. Watching Melissa smile, I couldn't help but think how unfair that was.

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><p><strong>Any reviews are greatly appreciated! Tell me what you think! - C<strong>


	2. Back at School

**Elli's Point of View**

The rest of the ride to Hogwarts went by rather uneventfully. James Potter and Lily Evans showed up about five minutes before the ride was over. Other than the annoyed mumbles from Sirius, there wasn't much talking going on.

Peter had fallen asleep again, this time leaving a line of drool on the window. Both Remus and Melissa were quiet, both looking upset about something.

Standing up, I let myself stretch for a moment. Sitting down for so long had made my muscles ache. I reached into the above compartment, where I had put my carry-on bag, and pulled out my robes. I pulled them on over top of my normal clothes, knowing that once we got outside the robes would be useful.

It was already dark outside the windows of the train, meaning that by the time we got to Hogwarts it would be very cold. At my lead, everyone else pulled their robes on, except for the still sleeping Peter.

"Shouldn't someone wake him up?" I asked.

Sirius shrugged. "We're not his parents." He said.

"No, but you're his _friends_." I corrected.

"Do you remember that time in third year?" James asked Sirius.

"When he rode all the way back to London?" Sirius finished with a laugh.

I narrowed my eyes at Sirius and walked over to Peter. Gently, I gave him a small shake.

"Peter?"

"Mmm." He mumbled.

"We're almost at Hogwarts. You're going to miss the stop." I told him.

He awoke with a start, instantly jumping up. "Why didn't you wake me?" He asked James and Sirius angrily.

"Where's the fun in that?" Sirius replied.

Not long after, the train came to a stop at the Hogsmeade station. Everyone bustled off the train. The first years were being herded by a harassed looking Professor, down to the boats that would take them across the castle. The rest of the students were to ride in the self-pulling carriages.

This close to the water, it was freezing. Despite the fact that it was only September, the cold air bit at my cheeks and I hurried to find a carriage so I could get to the castle faster and warm up.

There was an empty one not too far ahead and I hurried into it, clutching my bag to my chest and shivering a little. I heard voices approaching and looked over the edge of the carriage to see the Marauders, no longer accompanied by Melissa or Lily, coming towards me.

"Did you notice that she didn't once, during that whole ride, try to flirt with me? Or even _smile_ at me?" Sirius was saying to James and Lupin.

"First of all, I wasn't there for the whole ride, so no, I didn't notice." James told him. "And second of all, who cares?"

"No one, I'm just saying: Either the girl is mad, or she's blind." Sirius retorted.

Remus laughed. "Just because a girl doesn't drop to her knees at the sight of you doesn't mean she's crazy. I've known Elli for a long time, and she's pretty sane."

I rolled my eyes, but didn't say anything. Obviously they hadn't realized I was in hearing distance.

How egotistical! Did he really expect everyone to fawn over him? It's not like he was charming! Within two minutes of sitting with him I had wanted to throw my book at his head, and I wasn't the type of person to dislike people.

"I'm sure with a little more of my charm she'd be just like every other girl." Sirius said, being extremely cocky.

"Oh, hello Elli!" Remus said, looking a little embarrassed as they climbed into the carriage with me. "Didn't realize anyone was in here."

"It's because she's so bloody short." Sirius mumbled.

"I'm sure you didn't." I replied to Remus, choosing to ignore Sirius.

Sirius chose to sit in the seat beside me, with Remus, Peter and James across from us. The carriage started to move slowly towards the castle. The three boys across from me started whispering about something, their voices to low for me to catch.

A large blast of cold wind hit us, and I shivered. If only the carriages would move _faster_.

"Are you cold?" Sirius asked me, a grin on his face.

"No." I lied, but couldn't resist the urge to pull my robes tighter around myself.

"Really?" He asked, raising his eyebrows. "I could warm you up, you know."

"I'd rather freeze, thank you." I told him, looking away from him. Not before I noticed the grin fall and a frown form on his face.

Slowly, the castle in front of us got larger and larger the closer we got. From outside, you could see the far tower in which the Gryffindors were housed. Inside, there was the Great Hall, where an assortment of delicious foods would be laid out for us to eat. The thought of a nice warm bowl of soup warmed me up a little.

A few minutes later the carriage finally stopped and we all exited it. Hurrying ahead of the others, I rushed to get inside and out of the cold. Inside the castle it was much warmer, and I slowly made my way towards the dinning hall.

The inside of the Great Hall looked the same as ever. There was the four House tables, and a fifth long table for the teachers at the front of the room.

On a stool in front of the Professors' table was a battered old hat: The Sorting Hat. The hat would be placed upon the heads of all the new students and would decide which House they would be in.

I took an empty seat at the Gryffindor table, one of the first students to arrive. Five minutes later the entire hall was packed with students and chattering voices. Once everyone was seated the first year students were brought into the hall. One by one, they were sorted into houses.

When the last student had finally sat down at their respectable table, Dumbledore, the headmaster, stood up. As usual, he saved his speech for after the feast and allowed us to dig in.

I got myself a bowl of warm soup and took my book out of my bag. I left it open on the table and read while I ate. Sitting alone sometimes had it's down falls. Like having no one to talk to. But I chose to not sit and talk with anyone.

People tended to ask you questions, and I didn't particularly like answering most of them.

After everyone had eaten dinner and desert, - I chose a slice of apple pie - Dumbledore stood up again.

"I hope everyone has had enough to eat!" Dumbledore said, causing many people to break out into happy cheers. I noticed that the Marauders made the most noise out of everyone.

"Now, I have a few rules to cover, and then I'll allow you all to go to your beds and sleep." Dumbledore said with a smile. "First of all, students are not to use magic on one-another in the corridors." A view kids groaned in protest. "I would also like to tell everyone, especially a certain group of Gryffindor boys, that the Forbidden Forest is forbidden. I would appreciate it if you would all remember that. Don't want a repeat of last year." He said, meaning the time when somehow a student had gotten lost in the forest. "Let's have another great year!"

Everyone clapped, including myself. Then, slowly, we all exited the Great Hall, heading to our dorms.

When I got to the Gryffindor tower, there was a line-up outside the entrance, where a picture of a large woman was hanging.

"Password!" The woman in the painting shouted.

"Come on, it's the first day." I heard Sirius mutter from somewhere in front of me, annoyed. "Are you telling me you really don't recognize me from previous years?"

The Fat Lady smiled at Sirius. "Who could forget a face like that?"

"Good, now can we pass?" He asked.

"Sorry, no password, no entrance." The Fat Lady said firmly, but was still smiling at Sirius.

Even paintings flirted with him! No wonder he was so cocky.

"I've got the password!" James' voice called from behind everyone who was pilled up in front of the entrance.

"Oh, thank God." Sirius muttered.

"Nargles." James said, and the painting swung forward, allowing everyone to enter.

"What the hell is a nargle?" Sirius asked James.

"I've no idea." James replied.

I ignored them and went upstairs to my room to change my clothes. I shared a room with four other seventh year Gryffindor girls. Cathy and Julie, who were twins, Linda, an energetic red-head from Scotland, and Alice, who was by far the nicest.

"Hello, Alice." I said as I entered. She and I were the only ones who'd made it up to the room yet.

"How are you, Elli?" She asked, a kind smile on her face.

"I'm good. You?"

"Wonderful! It's been two months since I've seen Frank. I'm so glad to be back. He wasn't allowed to visit over the summer, you know." She says, looking annoyed. She flopped down onto her four poster bed. "My mother says I'm too young to be in a serious relationship."

Alice had been dating Frank Longbottom for two years now. As far as I could tell, while they were at school they were inseparable.

"Well, at least you have nine months to spend together." I said.

I walked over to my personal wardrobe, looking through my clothes. Finally I spotted a pair of black track pants and changed into them, leaving on the blue sweater I'd been wearing all day.

"Finally found someone yet?" Alice asked as I was putting away the pants I'd been wearing today.

I shook my head. "Not yet."

"Still no one good enough?" She asked with a laugh.

"I don't know what you mean." I told her, confused.

"Come on, Elli! You're much too pretty to not be able to get a boyfriend. You just don't find anyone good enough." She said. Her words might have been insulting, but the smile on her face said that she hadn't meant them to be.

"It's not that I don't think anyone's good enough," I told her quickly. "It's just... well, I'd prefer to be single. This is our last year, I really have to focus on work."

"I could always set you up with someone, you know." Alice said, grinning mischievously.

"No, that's okay. I'm sure I'll find someone on my own." I told her, though I wasn't serious. Dating just wasn't something I wanted to do.

I'd watched my dorm mates get their hearts broken countless times, and that really wasn't something I wanted to do. Plus, from what I've learned over the years, everyone you care about will end up leaving in the end anyways. What was the point of getting attached to someone then?

"If you're sure," Alice said with a laugh.

"I am." I said firmly. I walked over to the door, ready to just go sit in the common room and read. "I'll see you later."

The common room was more empty than it usually was at this time of night. The train ride and the feast tended to make people go to sleep earlier. A few older students were still up though, occupying a few of the couches.

I spotted the Marauders sitting on the couch that I was going to go to, the one in front of the fire. There was a girl sitting with them. Well, sitting _on _them, I should say. At least, sitting on _Sirius_.

I steered clear of them, choosing a single comfy chair to settle into instead. I read for almost an hour, not noticing what was going on around me. When I finally looked up, most of the Marauders were gone, leaving only Sirius and the girl who had been sitting on him. They were so caught up in kissing each other they didn't notice me looking.

Before they could, I went back to reading. First day back and he was already hooking up with a new girl! This thought distracted me from reading for a few minutes, more than long enough for me to notice that Sirius and the girl had separated.

"Well, I'm going up to bed." The girl said, standing up. "Care to join me?"

My mouth almost hung open with shock. The meaning behind her words was as obvious to Sirius as they were to me, but, surprising me, he declined.

"As tempting as that sounds, Mary, I think I'll pass tonight." He said with a laugh.

"Are you sure?" She asked again, pouting a little.

It was pathetic to watch. The power Sirius had over this girl was sickening. What respectable girl offered to... to sleep with a guy after hooking up once!

"Another time." Sirius said, and with that the girl sulked off.

"Having fun listening?" Sirius asked once the girl had made it all the way up the stairs.

I looked up from my book, surprised to see him grinning at me.

"I wasn't." I said quickly. "I was reading."

"Sure you were." He said. "Are you sure you wouldn't like to come and take her place?"

"Are you kidding me?" I asked, standing up. "Sorry, but I have much more self respect than that."

"There's a difference between self-respect and being uptight." Sirius told me, rolling his eyes.

"You have no right calling me uptight. You don't know a thing about me." I said, angry.

"You'd have to be uptight to decline that offer." Sirius retorted, smirking. "Any normal girl would have jumped at the opportunity."

"Just because I find you more annoying than attractive doesn't mean I'm not normal." I snapped back.

Too upset to say anything else, I just stormed up to my dorm room.

I don't know why he got to me so badly. I kept thinking over our conversation as I lay in bed, but I couldn't figure out why. It's not like I really cared what other people said or thought of me. If Sirius Black wanted to think I was uptight, let him. It shouldn't matter at all.

And yet, I still lost my temper with him. Part of me felt a little bad about it, but another had enjoyed yelling at him. I wasn't the type of person who did stuff like that! I was usually kind.

Staring up at the ceiling, I considered _why_ he upset me so much. Sirius irked me in ways no one else did. I think it was the fact that he figured that every girl lusted after him. He just expected us to all want him, and couldn't handle it when one didn't.

Before I finally fell asleep, I decided that what I really needed to do was just avoid Sirius Black all together.

* * *

><p><strong>Next chapter: Sirius time. :D<strong> **Any thoughts on this chapter? Leave a review! - C**


	3. Lates, Quills, and Detentions

**Sirius's Point of View **

"Wake up, you idiot!"

I rolled over, ignoring the voices around me. It's _too damn early_ to be awake. I could still fall asleep, possibly, if they just left me alone.

"Go away." I mumbled.

Instead of telling me to wake up again, who ever was yelling at me gave a good shove. I rolled off the bed and onto the floor.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" I asked angrily, sitting up.

James smirked at me. "If you would have just gotten up, I wouldn't of had to use force."

"What time is it?" I asked, choosing to ignore him.

"You've got about half an hour till class." James said. I noticed he was already dressed and perky-looking.

"Who ever decided we should have to _learn_ at eight in the morning was insane." I grumbled, getting up and going over to my wardrobe. "Shouldn't you be, I don't know, doing Head Boy things?" I asked James.

"I am. I've got to give you your time-table." James said, yawning. "Have fun doing Defense Against the Dark Arts first thing in the morning."

"What?" I asked, snatching the paper out of his hand. "This is ridiculous!"

"It's not _that_ bad." James said, moving towards the door.

"Easy for you to say. Jenkins doesn't think _you're_ a death-eater in training!" I snapped.

I usually wasn't so short with James. He was my closest friend. I even lived with him, up until this summer when I finally got a place of my own. My uncle had left me a lot of money after he died, and I used it to buy a house. It wasn't big, and it wasn't special, but it was _mine_.

But Professor Jenkins pissed me off. Just because my brother was a death-eater, and my parents were obviously dark wizards, he assumed I was going down the same path. The fact that I'd disowned my parents and was sorted into Gryffindor, not Slytherin, didn't seem to matter to him.

"Sorry." I told James. "You know how I am in the morning." I joked.

"Yeah." He said, even thought we both knew that wasn't the real reason for my anger. "I'll see you in class."

I changed into jeans and one of the school sweaters, not bothering to put on my robes. I hadn't followed to dress code in years, and no one ever really said anything.

With about fifteen minutes left, I hurried down to the Great Hall, not bothering to talk to anyone on my way down. If I was going to have to actually do work at this time in the morning, I was _not_ going to do it hungry.

I sat down and quickly filled a plate with eggs, bacon and toast and began shoveling it in my mouth. The Great Hall was nearly empty, but a few people were still here, including, of course, Elli.

She was sitting not to far away from me, a new book open on the table. She wasn't reading when I looked at her, though. She was watching me with a look of disgust on her face. When she realized I'd caught her watching me, she quickly went back to reading and eating the piece of toast she had in her hand.

God, that girl was infuriating. Not only did she seem imperceptible to my charm, she did nothing but yell at me. The only girls I'd ever hit on who didn't fully flirt back had been in extremely serious relationships. But from what I could tell, she was single and _still_ wanted nothing to do with me.

It's not like I should care, really. I mean, I'm _Sirius Black_. Most girls would kill for me to show interest in them. Not that I showed interest in Elli, I was merely curious as to why she didn't seem to like me like most girls did.

She wasn't even that pretty, really.

Well, okay, maybe she was attractive, but underneath those pretty blue eyes was nothing but a completely annoying personality. She didn't even have friends, from what I could tell. She had been sitting alone last night in the common room, she was alone now, and she chose to sit with Peter and I on the train. I thought back to all the times I'd seen her over our seven years at Hogwarts.

Though I hadn't really paid much attention to her,- I never paid much attention to one girl for long- I couldn't remember her ever really hanging around with other people.

So obviously I wasn't the only one she bothered.

Why was I still thinking about her, anyways? Annoyed, I stood up, not bothering to finish eating, and headed to Defense Against the Dark Arts. I'd probably have that class with Maria anyways, which would be more than enough to distract me from uptight loners such as Elli.

Maria was the kind of girl I actually _wanted_ to think about. She was attractive and more than willing to give me what I wanted.

I'm not completely heartless when it comes to women. Despite what some people might say, I didn't intentionally hurt people. I always warned them before hand that I wasn't planning on getting into anything serious. I always laid out all the ground rules first. It wasn't my fault that girls happened to get attached easily and I didn't.

Defense Against the Dark Arts was in a large, one windowed room on the second floor. It was a useful class, given that the dark arts was something people were having to fight daily now that Voldemort was at large, but it wasn't at all enjoyable.

"Hello, Sirius." Said a girly voice behind me.

I turned to see a smiling Maria hurrying to catch up with me.

"Hey." I said, slowing my pace to allow her to catch up.

"You have Defense Against the Dark Arts too?" She asked, giving me a flirty smile.

"Unfortunately."

We'd finally reached the classroom. The door was ajar and students were already in seats. I spotted botch James, Remus and Lily sitting at a table for four, one seat left for me. Peter didn't have this class with us, he dropped it after not getting a high enough mark on his OWLs.

"See you later, hopefully." Maria said before sauntering off.

I headed to the seat with my friends, settling down and pulling out my books and things.

"Woke up late as usual?" Lily asked, smiling.

"Would you really expect anything else of me?" I asked with a carefree laugh.

I liked Lily. Not in a romantic way, but she was honestly one of the only girls I'd ever really gotten to know as a person. Though I never really understood the point of a relationship before, even I couldn't deny that Lily and James belonged together.

Lily was about to say something back, but at that minute Professor Jenkins walked in, shutting the door behind him. Jenkins was probably the most strict teacher in this whole school. He tended to give out detentions more than anyone else, and, thanks to him, Gryffindor house almost didn't win the house cup last year for all the points he took off.

Jenkins didn't really like anyone, but he most especially didn't like me.

"Attention!" He called, and any hint of talking was instantly cut off. "This year will be the most grueling yet. Everything I've taught you these last seven years will be completely in vain if you do not take notes and _pay attention_."

"Now, for today, I would like to–," A knock at the door interrupted him. "What?" Jenkins snapped, using his wand to open the door.

A nervous looking Elli stood in the doorway, clutching her books to her chest.

"Sorry I'm late!" She said, looking a little frightened.

"You will be, Mrs. Mason," Jenkins said, looking annoyed. He didn't particularly like it when people interrupted him. "Why are you late?"

"I- I was reading." She said in a small voice.

If I had been her, I would have regretted using that excuse. You could tell from the looks of everyone watching her, which was the whole class, that they agreed.

"Reading?" Jenkins repeated, as if this was a word he didn't understand. "You are late to my class so you could _read_?"

Noticing everyone was watching her, Elli raised her nose a little higher in the air. This time when she spoke, she didn't stutter or seem nervous at all. "Yes." She said, her voice firm and clear.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for being late!" He snapped. "Ten more for that terrible excuse."

"It wasn't an excuse." Elli said back, while finding a seat. The only one left was at the table across from ours. She didn't meet anyone's eyes as she slipped into her seat and arranged her books and paper.

Jenkins ignored her and went back to teaching.

"I want you to copy everything here," He said, gesturing to the writing that had just appeared on the chalk board. "After that, we will be practicing curses and counter-curses."

"Got an extra quill?" I asked James, realizing I'd forgotten to grab one in my rush to get to class and still have time for breakfast.

James shook his head.

"Lily?" I asked. She shook her head too. "Remus?" I asked, hopeful. _Someone_ had to have an extra quill.

"Something you'd like to share with the class, Mr. Black?" Jenkins asked.

I ground my teeth together but staid calm. "No." I replied, not sounding in the least bit rude, which was surprising, given how much I disliked Jenkins.

"Then can you tell me why you haven't started copying this?" He asked, gesturing at the board.

"I don't have a quill." I muttered, this time not sounding as polite.

"What was that, Black?" Jenkins asked, a smirk on his face.

"I said, I don't have a quill." I repeated, louder this time.

"Did you lose it?"

"I forgot to bring one." I said, resisting the urge to roll my eyes.

"Of course you did!" He said, still smiling. "Does anyone have an extra quill they can spare to forgetful Mr. Black?"

I looked around, but no one seemed to have an extra one. Except my eyes found Elli and she was holding a quill out to me.

"Oh, how lovely. Mrs. Mason, would you kindly give your quill to Mr. Black." Jenkins said, and he was still smiling that cruel smile. Elli slowly got up and dropped the quill in front of me, not meeting my eyes.

"I'm glad we've got that worked out. Now the two of you can both spend your Friday nights in detentions together, given that you're both so hell bent on disrupting my class." Jenkins told Elli and I.

"But you already took points away for me being late!" Elli protested. "I haven't done anything else wrong!"

"It was just a quill!" I added, angry.

"Both of you managed to disrupt my class enough today!" Jenkins snapped. "You can make up for that time Friday!"

Elli instantly closed her mouth, though looking very upset. I didn't say anything else, either, knowing it would only result in more punishment. When I caught Elli's eye again, she was glaring at me. The look on her face clearly said she considered this to be my fault.


	4. Trunks and Touches

**Lupin's Point of View **

"Honestly," I said to Sirius as he, James, Lily and I exited the Defense Against the Dark Arts room. "I don't think your charm could do anything in this situation. That girl hates you."

Sirius shot me a dirty look before hurrying away from us.

James raised his eyebrows at me but didn't say anything. We both knew that Jenkins had upset him. Jenkins had always been harder on Sirius than anyone else. It was because Sirius was a Black, despite that fact that, if he could, Sirius would have chosen any other family for his own. It wasn't as if he even talked to them.

No, Sirius hadn't spoken to anyone in his family in years, not since he finally left for good and moved in with James. They were always a sore spot for him, and Jenkins was a constant reminder of his unfortunate ancestry.

"What do we have next?" I asked James, who shared the exact same schedule as me.

"Transfiguration." He said with a sigh.

"Great." I mumbled.

I may have been the most sensible, responsible one in our group of friends, but that didn't mean that I fully enjoyed school, either. I liked learning, and I worked hard to get good grades. But Transfiguration right after Defense Against the Dark Arts was not going to be fun. Both classes were easily the hardest, and both classes were taught by the strictest Professors.

"At least we have it with the Ravenclaws." James said, giving me a knowing grin.

Melissa was a Ravenclaw. Which made Transfiguration more appealing, yet, at the same time, even less. Spending time with Melissa was bittersweet. She was great; she was smart, attractive, fun. But nothing more would ever come from it than friendship.

"If she really likes you, she'll look past all that." Lily spoke up with her usual overly optimistic advice.

Lily knew I was a werewolf. She knew that James, Sirius and Peter were unregistered animagi. James had, at first, only told her about himself, but after a while we trusted her enough to tell her everything. Lily was practically one of the Marauders now.

"I'm not even sure if she likes me at all." I replied, not really wanting to talk about it.

Transfiguration was taught by Professor McGonagall, an older woman who was also the Head of Gryffindor house. She was fair, and actually nice when she wanted to be, but she also tolerated absolutely no nonsense.

The class itself was held on the same floor as the Great Hall. The walls were covered with windows, and it was bright and airy. Instead of large group tables, like Defense, it had smaller tables that only sat two people.

Throwing an apologetic look over his shoulder, James and Lily took a table together. That left me to sit by myself. I took a seat near the middle of the class.

Everyone knew that if you sat at the front, you'd be right in the line of sight of the teacher. But the back of the class was never a good option either because, being the farthest away from the Professors desk, they tended to watch you more closely, knowing that people are more likely to fool around back there.

The middle of the room meant that you were relatively okay to talk and slack off. Not that I was exactly prone to do either, but the option was open at least.

Seconds before the class was about to start, a breathless Melissa slid into the seat next to me, hurrying to pull our her quill and parchment.

"Am I late?" She whispered to me.

I shook my head. "Oh, thank god." She said, looking relieved. "I do not need a detention."

Her cheeks were a little red and her black hair looked a little mused from her running. Over all, she looked extremely cute. Which was not something I wanted to notice, but I couldn't help it.

"Can you believe," She whispered, ignoring McGonagall, who was going over the importance of this year, due to the fact that we would be taking our N.E. and graduating this year. "I have Divination first period, and then this! That's eight floors I have to run down between class. It's ridiculous!"

I chuckled, careful not to make too much noise. "Try having Jenkins at eight in the morning." I complained. "Consider yourself lucky."

"Ouch," She said sympathetically. "I guess I am lucky."

For a few minutes we were quiet, listening to McGonagall go over how to transfigure actual body parts. "It's not easy, and, more often than not, people end up in the hospital wing after the first try." McGonagall said, much to the horror of many students. "But don't worry. If you follow my instructions properly and concentrate, you'll be fine."

"I want to stress the fact the, no matter how good you are at performing magic, this class requires more than sheer skill." She continued, making sure to give everyone a stern look. "You _must_ concentrate in order to succeed."

Everyone nodded, letting her know we understood.

"No, I'd like this week for everyone to practice on the person you're seating with. It's much easier to transfigure another person than it is to perform this spell on yourself. By next week we will be moving on to actually using it on ourselves."

"I'm not going to have any body parts left!" Sirius's voice said from the back of the room. I turned to see him sitting with Peter. He faked a look of horror, causing everyone watching to laugh.

"Now, now, Mr. Black. I have the utmost faith in all of you." McGonagall said, giving Sirius a 'behave yourself' look, which she usually had to do about five times a lesson. "I'd like you all to begin by transfiguring the nose of your partner. You can get creative if you like, as long as you succeed in changing the original appearance."

With a flick of her wand, McGonagall's rather pointed nose shrunk to the size of the button. "I doubt any of you will be able to do it today, but by the end of the week you should be able to do what I just did to your partner."

"Any questions?"

When no one raised their hands, McGonagall gestured for us all to proceed.

"If you give me a pigs nose I'll kill you." Melissa said, turning to me with a grin on her face.

"Don't worry, I'll just make it smaller." I assured her.

"Oh, you think my nose needs to be smaller?" She said, raising her eyebrows at me.

"No, I didn't–,"

"I'm just teasing, Remus." She said with a laugh.

"Do you want to go first?" I offered. "I wouldn't want to screw up that pretty face of yours." I joked.

Melissa blushed slightly, making me smile wider. "Sure." She said, raising her wand. "But if you come out of this without a nose, remember that you allowed me to do it."

"That makes me feel so much better about this situation." I told her.

Melissa flicked her wand, pointing it at my nose. I felt a slight tingle at the tip of it, but from what I could tell, nothing happened.

"Hmm," Melissa said, studying my nose closely. "I don't think I made any change what-so-ever."

I raised my own wand, and this time Melissa sat still, waiting for me to attempt to change her nose. I moved my wand the same way she had, concentrating hard on making her nose shrink. Just as with Melissa, nothing happened.

"McGonagall wasn't kidding when she said it was going to be hard." I said, noticing absolutely no change in Melissa nose.

"Ten points to Gryffindor, Mrs. Mason." McGonagall said loudly.

Everyone turned to Elli, who was sitting at the back of the room with one of the Ravenclaws. Much to everyone's amazement, her partners nose had changed into an orange beak. Everyone laughed, including her partner, except for Sirius. Instead of joining in with everyone else, he turned to Peter, a look of pure concentration upon his face as he flicked his wand.

Elli flashed a small smile before turning her partners nose back to normal.

* * *

><p><strong>Melissa's Point of View<strong>

Remus and I spent the rest of the class laughing in our attempts to transfigure each other. After finally succeeding in shrinking and expanding each other's noses, we worked on making the others nose look as ridiculous as possible.

"Did you honestly just change my nose into a tail?" Remus asked me, laughing. The fluffy tail itself waved around.

I joined in the laughter, pulling out the small mirror I carried in my bag. I held it up to his face and we both burst into another round of laughter.

"Just you wait." He said, flicking his wand.

What he did was obvious, since the trunk that appeared in place of my nose was a few feet long. When I laughed, it made a weird trumpeting noise.

"Change it back!" I ordered, but I was still laughing. "This thing is heavy."

Remus obeyed. He studied my nose for a second, making sure that he had put it back right. He spotted something on my cheek and reached out his hand to gently brush it off with his thumb. His hand lingered on my face for a second.

"Eyelash." He said softly.

I didn't move or breath, not wanting to ruin the moment. But still, a moment later he moved his hand, turning away from me, looking slightly embarassed.

What had that been all about? I wondered.

For years I'd had a thing for Remus. He was attractive, with his light brown hair, kind brown eyes, and killer smile. And he was by far the nicest guy I'd ever met. But no matter how much time we'd spent alone together, he'd never made a move.

This was the closest he'd ever come to touching me intimately, and it had surprised me. I liked the way he touched me. A lot, to be honest, but he always held back, no matter how much he seemed to like me back.

"Quiet, everyone!" McGongall called.

The laughter around the room died after a few moments. "I see that everyone has been successful in today's lesson. We'll continue with more harder transfigurations throughout the week." McGonagall told us all. "Anyone who is still struggling with this task can work on it tonight as homework. As for now, you're all free to go to lunch."

* * *

><p><strong>Lupin's Point of View<strong>

Melissa and I joined James, Sirius, Peter and Lily.

"Are you going to sit with us?" Lily asked Melissa. The two had gotten along pretty well and it wasn't unusual for them to sit with each other.

Melissa looked at me for a second, considering. "As long as Remus promises not to give me a trunk again." She replied with a smile in my direction.

Both Lily and Melissa walked ahead of us to the Great Hall, chatting with each other.

"Who knew that Transfiguration class would be the perfect place for Moony to get a girlfriend!" Sirius joked.

"We just get along well, that's all." I protested. Had they seen me touch her cheek? I hadn't meant to let my hand linger on her face, but her skin had been so soft.

"I don't see why you don't get with her." Sirius said, frowning slightly. "She's definitely attractive, and for some reason she actually seems to like you."

"I'm not sure if you just insulted or complimented me." I replied.

"A little of both, I think." James put in.

"Anyways, you know why I can't, Padfoot."

"You don't _have_ to tell her." Peter offered.

"Exactly!" Sirius agreed. "I find that the best relationships are built on lies."

"And that's what makes you a terrible person." I told him.

"Yeah, and when was the last time you actually had a girlfriend?" James added.

Sirius looked thoughtful for a minute. "Never," He admitted. "I don't believe in relationships, you know that. You used to share those views, if I recall correctly, Prongs."

"Until he met Lily." Peter said.

James laughed. "One day, Padfoot, you'll fall in love and understand."

"Perhaps, but I want you to promise to kill me if that happens." Sirius said as we stepped into the Great Hall.

We sat down at the Gryffindor table. I ended up sitting beside Melissa. Sirius sat beside me, almost sitting _on_ me.

"Move down." He grumbled.

I looked beside him, where there was more than enough room for him to sit.

"What are you talking about? You move down." I said, giving him a 'what is wrong with you' look.

Sirius sighed and shoved me sideways, making me bump into Melissa.

"Sorry." I said quickly, sending Sirius a death glare.

"No problem." Melissa said.

Sirius made sure that I didn't move any farther down, so Melissa's leg was completely touching mine. She was deep in conversation with Lily.

"Did you see what Remus did to me?" Melissa asked Lily, laughing. She grabbed my hand as she laughed, giving it a squeeze. "A trunk! Can you believe him?"

I laughed along with them, but I wasn't really paying attention. I was too busy looking at Melissa's hand, intertwined with mine. Melissa saw where my eyes were and quickly let go, blushing.

"Does she even have friends?" Sirius said out loud to no one in particular.

"She's kind of friends with everyone." Lily said, following Sirius's train of sight down the table to where Elli sat reading a book.

Sirius snorted, but looked away from Elli. "I'm going to go sit with Maria." He said, standing up. "I think I'm going to take her up on a rain-check I made with her last night." He said with a wink.

"He's sleeping with Maria now?" Peter asked as we all watched Sirius walk away.

"No," I answered. "He's _going_ to sleep with Maria. You know he doesn't sleep with the same girl more than once." I said, slightly disgusted by my best friend. He really was kind of a slut, to be honest.

"Are you serious?" Melissa asked, looking shocked.

James, Peter and I all nodded.

"That's terrible." She said.

"That's Sirius." James said with a laugh.

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews and things are always appreciated. It's nice to know that people like it, if they do. Even if you don't, leave a review telling me why! - C<strong>


	5. Bludgers and Bats

**Sirius's Point of View**

"Stop following me!" Elli snapped, whirling around to glare at James and I.

I stiffled the urge to laugh. She was about as menacing as a puppy.

"You think I'm funny, Black?" She asked, pulling her wand out of her pocket and pointing it at me, taking a few steps in my direction.

"Little bit, yeah." I admitted, grinning. "Put that thing away, we both know you aren't going to use it."

She glared at me, but put her wand away anyways. Then she turned to James.

"You're reasonable. Why don't you take Sirius and leave me alone?" She asked, thinking that he was more likely to listen to her.

"Being your guard was James's idea." I told her.

She kept walking until, a few minutes later, she stopped dead and pointed down a random hallways.

"Oh, my god!" She shrieked, turning to James and I, her eyes wide. "There's something... something dangerous down there!"

James and I turned, confused. There was nothing there.

"I swear!" Elli said when we'd turned back to her. "Right down there! Maybe you should go check it out." She gave a convincing look of terror. "You're the big men, I don't feel safe going down there. I'll just wait here."

"Kind of overkill with the big men part, don't you think?" I asked her, rolling my eyes. "Do you really think we're that stupid?"

"Not James, no." She said, before sulking off again.

James laughed. "She really puts you in your place, doesn't she?" James joked. I glared at him. "What? I think it's good for you. You're a little egotistical, you know."

"Look who's talking!" I shot back, rolling my eyes.

"That was before I started dating Lily and she told me she wouldn't put up with it." James pointed out.

"Well, see, I, unlike you, have to reason, and no wish, to change my egotistical ways. I am perfectly happy having superficial, physical relationships with girls that could care less if I'm egotistical or not." I said, lifting my chin a little higher.

James just laughed again, until we both walked into Elli, who had suddenly stopped. We were right by Dumbeldore's office.

"Voldemort." She whispered.

"What? Elli-," I stopped suddenly when I saw him.

Voldemort was infamous for his continuing rise to power, and his hatred of muggles and muggleborns. And his slaughtering of them.

"What's he doing here?" James said softly, so not to be heard.

Voldemort was striding towards the gargoyles that blocked entrance to Dumbeldore's office. He was frightening, not just because of the stories of what he did, but just to look at.

He was tall, even taller than I was, and I was 6'1. He might have once been as good-looking as I was, but age had not done him any good. His skin looked as if it was pulled tight, and he had a rather snake like look on his face.

Much to my dismay, he spotted us and smiled.

"Sirius!" He called, as if we were good friends.

I stiffined and felt Elli, who had backed even farther into James and I, do the same.

"Your brother told me to send his greetings if I saw you." He said, giving my a cold look. His voice was higher than you would expect to come from such a large man.

I didn't say anything.

"And who are you friends? Anyone else I might know?" He asked, his eyes cutting through Elli and James.

The second he asked, I knew how to play things. I rearanged my features into a haughty mask.

"James Potter, and Alice Marchbanks." I said, using Elli's roomates name instead because I knew she was a pureblood.

"Purebloods?" Voldemort questioned, as I knew he would. He looked uninterested in the question, but his eyes flashed blood red for a second.

"Obviously." I said, smirking. "I wouldn't surround myself with any other... filth."

"I see you take after your brother." Voldemort said appraisingly. "Though he said you didn't exactly approve..."

"It's not that I don't, I just needed something to get mad about, you know. Teenage angst and all that. Just wanted a reason to upset my mother." I lied. "She and I don't exactly get on."

"Well, if you're interested in any work towards our cause after school, just mention it to your brother. I hear you're a smart and gifted young man." Voldemort told me, and though he paid me a compliment, his expression did not warm at all.

I nodded and he headed back towards the gargoyles. Without even thinking it through, I grabbed Elli's hand and pushed James ahead of me. Together the three of us hurried from the scene.

As soon as we were out of the hallway, I broke into a run, pulling Elli with me and James following right behind us.

When we reached the Fat Lady, I quickly told her "Gillyweed" and then the three of us rushed into the room.

"What was that all about?" Elli asked, looking confused. Then she looked down at our hands, which were still intwined and yanked hers out of mine, looking confused for a second, but not meeting my eyes.

"Why is he here?" James asked me, his expression making it obvious that he was feeling the same way I was. Something was definitely wrong. Dumbledore would never let him into our school.

"I have no idea, but I want to know." I said, looking around the room for a free spot to sit. By now class had finished, and the room was filled with students.

I spotted Lupin and Melissa on the couch... For a moment all thoughts of Voldemort slipped from my mind and I headed towards them.

"Finally." I said, raising my eyebrows as the two seperated a little. The still clinged to each other, but their mouths were no longer joined.

"What's wrong?" Melissa asked, noticing the look of seriousness on James' and Elli's faces.

"Voldemort." James said, and both of them let out a small gasp. "He was heading to Dumbledore's office."

"He seems to want to recruit me as a Death Eater." I said, making myself sound calm, but really I wasn't.

I'd fought my entire life to prove that I wasn't evil, like my parents, and my brother, and Voldemort himself. I'd even gotten in to Gryffindor, despite the fact that a majority of my family were Slytherin's.

But Voldemort seemed to think I was one of them too. Maybe they all saw something inside of me that I tried not to see myself. Maybe I was truly meant to be like them.

But no, I couldn't. I _wasn't_.

"Are you okay?" Elli asked, laying a hand on my arm before realizing what she did. She quickly removed it as if I burned her.

Even Elli saw it. That's why she hated me so much. She was just so _good_ and I was obviously tainted. Maybe deep down I was as dark as the colour of my last name.

"- and said that she was Alice Marchbanks instead." James said. I hadn't heard the entire converstion, but I knew he was retelling the conversation we'd had with Voldemort.

"Good thinking. Do you really think he'd attack someone here at school, right underneath Dumbledore? Literally?" Lupin asked.

"I don't know." I admitted. "But I wasn't going to risk it."

"But what's he doing here?" Melissa voiced, looking confused and worried. "You don't think-,"

"I think a lot of things, but chances are 99 percent of them aren't true." I told her. Then, with a sudden brilliant though, I pulled the Marauder's map out of my back pocket. "But we can at least see where he's _going_."

"What is that?" Elli asked, looking down at the folded piece of parchment in my hand.

"This," I said fondly. "Is how we get away with all the shit we pull."

"But I don't-,"

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." I said, tapping the front of the paper with my wand.

Elli and Melissa both frowned down at the map, but Remus and James already knew what it did, so they weren't nearly as curious.

"He's still in the office. He's just sitting there." I said, watching the spot labled Voldemort across from the one labeled Headmaster Dumbledore.

"Does he have any of his followers with him?" James asked me.

I searched the whole map, but no one other than students and teachers and faculty showed up. I shook my head.

"I guess there's nothing else to do. Unless you guys want to go listen outside Dumbeldore's door, but I really don't want to ever get that close to that man again." Elli said, shuddering slightly.

"Until he's gone, you're not leaving this common room." I told Elli.

"You're not the boss of me." She snapped, but she didn't protest. "But I might not be in any danger."

"What do you mean?" Melissa asked, confused.

"I might not be muggleborn." Elli said, looking calm, but her voice betrayed a little of the hope in her voice. "I don't know _who _my parents are. They could have been wizards, right?"

"What do you mean you don't know who your parents are?" Melissa asked, her confusion deepening, but a look of hurt on surfacing too.

"I- I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Elli said quietly, looking down. "But I... I don't live with my parents. I've never even met them. I love in a group home, with a bunch of... unwanted teenagers."

"You're not unwanted." Remus said, looking sympathetic.

"How would you know?" Elli snapped back. As soon as the words were out of her mouth she looked apologetic.

I thought I saw tears forming in her eyes, but it was gone so fast and she was smiling brightly. It was like emotional whiplash.

"I see you two have worked things out." She said, meaning Lupin and Melissa.

Before either of them could reply, Mary, a girl who I'd made out with a bit the first day back, plopped down on the couch between Elli and I, practically sitting on my lap.

"Hello, Sirius." She said, giving me a vapid smile. "I haven't seen you much lately."

The pout on her face annoyed me. It wasn't as if she actually liked _me_. She just liked the way I looked. She made that quite clear the first night back, when she'd spoken about two words to me before jumping me.

"I've been busy." I said, noting the amused looks on everyone's faces except Elli and Melissa.

Elli looked annoyed, and Melissa looked disappointed.

"I wanted to spend some time together. We never got to finish our, er, conversation the other night." She said, giving my a sly smile.

"From what I saw, there wasn't much 'talking' going on last time." Elli told Mary, giving her a look of dislike.

"I didn't know it was any of your buisness." Mary snapped back.

"I never said it was, I was just making an observation." Elli said innocently.

"Cat fight." James said between coughs.

I would have laughed if not for the fact that the supirior look on Mary's face made me really annoyed.

"I'm sorry, Elli. I wasn't under the impression that you even knew what we were doing, since you've had about no experience yourself." Mary said, mirroring Elli's innocent smile.

Elli narrowed her eyes in respone.

"Just because Elli doesn't have a reputation, like you, doesn't mean she doesn't have experience. It just means she doesn't have experience with _half _of the male population at this school." Melissa cut in, giving Mary a 'back-off' look.

"Can we talk alone?" Mary asked, standing up.

"Fine." I said grudgingly, and followed her.

I heard James mutter, "Put those claws away, girls." and stiffled the urge to laugh.

"I thought you liked me." Mary pouted when we were far enough away from everyone else.

"Look, Mary-,"

"Is it because Elli?" She asked, looking suddenly a little crazy. "You like her, don't you?"

"What?" I asked, so confused. "No, I actually really _don't_ like her."

"Prove it. Kiss me in front of her." Mary said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Mary-,"

"I get it. You like her." She said, looking smug.

In response, I pulled her to me and, looking over her head at Elli, who was watching us, I kissed her. I didn't feel anything, not a spark of emotion, but I deepened the kiss anyways.

Elli turned her head away from me, but that was good. I didn't need to think about her when kissing someone. All I wanted to focus on was the feeling of Mary's body pressed against mine, which, three weeks ago, would have been enough for me to bring her straight up to me room. But now... I continued kissing her, but the fact that it was meaningless nagged at me, and I couldn't enjoy it.

"Satisfied?" I asked, pulling away from Mary's too tight grip around my neck.

"Definitely." She said breathlessly.

"Well, I was kind of having an important conversation, so I'm going to... just... go back to that." I said , wanting to get away from her.

"Meet me later tonight." She whispered in my ear before slinking off, throwing a look over her shoulder at me.

I sat back down on the couch with my friends and Elli, but I didn't pay any attention to the conversation. I was too preoccupied with trying to figure out what had happened. What had changed? Why did I suddenly find kissing unenjoyable just because it didn't _mean _anything?

I was Sirius Black, well-known man-whore, and I couldn't even make out with an attractive, albiet slightly stupid, girl without wanting something meaningful?

God, something was wrong with me...


	6. Kiss and Heartaches

**Lupin's Point of View**

I walked back to the common room feeling pretty good about myself. There was only two other people left vying for the spot of Keeper when we'd been sent away by James. I felt that I'd done pretty good. I'd played Quidditch all the time with James and Sirius over the summers we'd spent together.

On my walk back to the Gryffindor tower, I found Melissa walking through the halls.

"Melissa!" I called, and she slowed down, giving me time to catch up. "What are you up to?"

"Oh, nothing, just bored, waiting to find out if you made the team or not." She said, smiling.

"So am I. I don't get to find out until James and Sirius get back to the common room. The whole teams got to vote, you know." I said, babbling a bit. I was still a little nervous.

"I'm sure you did fine." She said, smiling.

"Do you want to come back to the Gryffindor common room with me?" I asked her as we walked down the hall.

"Sure, if you want me to." She agreed.

As we walked, she quizzed me on how the tryouts had gone.

"God, I don't know how you do it." She said, laughing. "Ever since that first year, where they make you take flying classes, I haven't been on a broom."

"Really?" I asked, surprised. I'd never noticed this before. "Why not?"

"I hate heights." She admitted. "First year I threatened to hex anyone who tried to get me on one, and eventually they let me drop the class."

I laughed until she narrowed her eyes at me. "Sorry, I'm not laughing at you being afraid of heights. I'm laughing at the thought of you at age eleven threatening anyone."

"I'll have you know that I was very frightening." She said, pretending to be offended.

"I don't doubt it." I laughed.

We finally made it to the picture of the Fat Lady.

"Nargles." I said, and she swung forwards.

"What's a nargle?" Melissa asked, frowning.

"I've no idea." I replied, making us both laugh.

When we entered, there was a lot of upset looking Gryffindors who'd tried out for the team, but there was also a lot of eager people waiting to see who was going to be the new Keeper and Beater.

Not having any answers to peoples prying questions, I led Melissa over to the corner of the room where the fireplace was. To my surprise, Elli was already sitting there, but she wasn't reading. She was biting one of her nails, looking deep in thought.

"Oh, hello Remus," She said as we sat beside her. "Melissa."

"What's up, Elli?" Melissa asked.

"I'm just waiting to hear who got the new Beater position." She replied, staring intently at the fire.

"I didn't know you were interesting in Quidditch." Melissa said, giving Elli a surprised smile, which Elli didn't notice because she was still staring at the fire.

"Everyone keeps saying that lately." Elli replied. "But if I wasn't interested, I wouldn't have been the only one at tryouts who managed to hit that cocky, arrogant Sirius Black with one of the bludgers."

I felt my eyes widen in shock. "You did what?" I asked, not quite believing her.

For a second she smiled, as if remembering it. "I almost got him right in the face." She said dreamily. "But he moved and it hit his leg. James said who ever managed to hit Sirius was automatically on the team, but it seems he's having seconds thoughts because it was _me_ who managed to do it."

She looked thoroughly upset by the end of her speech. "Not very fair, is it?" Melissa put in.

"You'd be the smallest Beater ever." I said, smiling. "I hope you get it, Elli."

She smiled. "Me, too. I just... I hope that just because I'm female, and, I'll admit, a _little_ short, I don't get overlooked. I think I was better than the rest of those guys. Much more graceful at least." She said, looking put out.

"If I make the team, are you going to come watch me play?" I asked Melissa, since Elli looked as if she didn't want to talk anymore.

"Every game." Melissa promised, grinning.

We sat there for a few minutes, chatting, until the photograph of the Fat Lady swung forward again, the Gryffindor Quidditch team entering the room. Everyone was quite for a minute, gathering around to see who made the team.

"I'm extremely happy to announce that, due to an unanimous vote, our new Keeper is," James said, waiting for a moment of suspense. "Remus Lupin!"

Most people cheered, though I heard one person yell, "This is rigged. He only got it because he's friends with the captain!"

But said kid looked extremely sorry when Sirius glared down at him. "It's not rigged. He won because he was the best. Would you like to argue that?" Sirius said, looking a little frightening.

"Lupin, you're on the team!" Melissa said, looking overjoyed.

She leaned forwards and, before either of us really knew what was happening, my lips were on hers.

Her lips were even softer than I'd expected and, as I placed mine against them, she let out a small little gasp of surprise but did not pull back. Instead, she wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me closer to her.

I wasn't a fool. Just because I'd never let myself date before didn't mean that I had no clue what I was doing. Before long our lips parted and our tongues came together, making us both short of breath.

I think it was a minute later, but it felt like years, when we pulled apart. Melissa stared at me, not moving her hands from around my neck.

"Wow," She said softly. "I didn't... That was... Wow."

"I'm sorry." I said quickly, assuming that I'd done something wrong. "I didn't mean to–,"

But before I could finish, she was kissing me and by the time we pulled apart I had no doubt in my mind that I hadn't done anything wrong.

"Get a room!" I head Sirius yell, but he was laughing.

"Calm down, I haven't announced the Beater!" James shouted, but he winked at me before looking sternly at everyone else.

Melissa and I pulled apart, watching him intently. I couldn't help but grab her hand in mine, though.

"This one was a close call, both Elli Mason and Justin Walter performed excellently today, but since there could only be one, we decided on..." Again, a dramatic pause. Then, letting out a quick sigh, James said, "Elli Mason, you're the new Beater."

Most of the boys clapped politely, though a few just opted to stare, mouths hanging open. All the girls in the room, on the other hand, were cheering and clapping and hollering.

"Are you kidding?" One of the guys who'd tried out for Beater asked James, looking furious.

"She was the best." He said, shrugging.

"But look at her! She's a _girl_!" The guy protested.

"What's your point?" Lily, who'd just came over to James, asked. She looked extremely annoyed.

"Just that– she, well... She's tiny!" The guy said, looking as annoyed as Lily. "How could she be a better Beater than me? She looks like she'll fall off a broom if the winds too strong!"

Sirius walked over to the guy and, giving him an intimidating look, said, "She was the best. That's all there is to it. Get-over-it."

"So," James said, walking over to Melissa, Elli and I. Sirius and Lily followed. "Practices are every other day at seven."

"Every other day?" Sirius asked, looking horrified. "How will I have time for my other extracurricular activities?"

"What other activities–, oh, never mind." I said quickly, realizing that he didn't mean anything school related.

Sirius waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Just wait, now that you're apart of the team, you'll be getting a lot of girls too, Moony."

"Because being a slut is something you should anxiously anticipate, Remus." Elli said, rolling her eyes and standing up. "I'm going to get dinner. Thank you for letting me on the team." She added to James before leaving.

"I could save a kitten from imminent death," Sirius said, looking annoyed. "And that girl would still find a way to make me come off horribly."

"She's one the nicest people ever." Melissa said, laughing. "So if even _she_ doesn't like you, you're doing something wrong. Plus, you seem to hate her just as much as she hates you."

"She's the only one who doesn't like me." Sirius said, looking exasperated. "I've not even had an entire conversation with her, which is why it's so infuriating!" He said. Before he stomped through the portrait hole and out the door, he loudly muttered the word, "Women."

"Are you guys coming?" Lily asked, grabbing James' hand and leading him out the door.

"Yeah, just a minute." Melissa said, gabbing _my_ hand to not let me follow. "We should talk."

And suddenly, all the happiness I'd been feeling since I'd kissed her faded and I was left feeling guilty for holding back something that would really upset her.

"What's there to talk about?" I asked, opting with playing dumb instead of actually discussing things. If we talked for too long, I'd realize that I'd just have to tell her that we couldn't be more than friends, and I really didn't want to.

"We kissed." She said, looking a little embarrassed and confused.

"I'm glad you noticed." I joked halfheartedly.

"Ha ha." She said dryly. "What does that mean... about us?"

"Why does it have to mean something?" I asked, not meeting her eyes. She couldn't have just left it? Why did she have to go and try to label it? I couldn't commit to her without admitting everything. I liked her too much. But if I admitted everything, she wouldn't like me very much.

"It was a kiss, Melissa, not a marriage proposal." I said, finally meeting her eyes.

"I just thought..." She trailed off, looking upset. "Never mind. I've got to go." She said and, before I could apologize or stop her, she ran out the portrait door, not turning back once.

Suddenly the thought of eating seemed very unappetizing and I just headed up to my dorm room, feeling like an idiot. Why had I been so rude to her? Why was I so _stupid_?

* * *

><p><strong>Melissa's Point of View<strong>

God, why did boys have to be so _stupid_! I thought, running down the stairs. I passed James and Lily on the way, but didn't stop to say anything to them. I was afraid that if Lily asked me, with that sad, kind smile of hers, what was wrong, that the tears would fall and they wouldn't stop.

What _was_ wrong? I liked Remus for years! I should be happy that we kissed, not hurrying away from him, tears stinging my eyes. I should have just assumed that, because we'd kissed, that there was going to be something more.

I should have questioned him, but I couldn't just kiss him and not wonder if there was ever going to be _more_. I wasn't going to be one of those girls, like the ones that Sirius hangs around with, that just throw themselves at a guy with no trace of self-respect.

No, I wanted more, and I thought that Remus did too, but he didn't. He proved that tonight, and that was all there was to it.

What I wanted to do was just crawl into bed, but I knew that my roommates would be able to tell something wrong, and they would console me, and tell me everything was alright, and that Lupin was a jerk, and I didn't deserve someone like him.

But I didn't _want_ that. I liked him too much, and I honestly wasn't ready to give up on him completely. I felt something when his lips touched mine, something that I knew he felt too. And that wasn't something that you _could_ give up on.

So instead of going up to my room, or sitting with my fellow Ravenclaws, I sat with Elli.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, looking at my eyes as I sat down. "If not, just say the words and we'll pretend that I never even noticed the tears in your eyes."

This is one of the reasons why I sat with Elli. If I didn't want to talk, she wouldn't press the subject. I gave her a small smile.

"Remus and I kissed, but Remus refused to admit that it meant something." I told her quietly.

She didn't say anything for a few moments. "I don't think he's ever had a girlfriend, you know." Elli said in her soft voice. "Maybe he was just scared? You've been friends for a long time, Melissa. Perhaps he doesn't want to ruin that by taking a chance on something more romantic."

And this was the second reason why Elli was who I chose to sit with. Where most of my girlfriends would have immediately insulted him, saying how rude that was, Elli searched for the deeper meaning of things. Plus, she was much too nice to ever insult Remus.

"I didn't really think about it that way." I said, but it didn't really make me feel much better. I _wanted_ him to care enough to take that chance.

Elli looked thoughtful. "He's probably just confused about everything. It's obvious he's liked you for a while, but he's never actually made a move before. Now not only has he kissed you, but you're wondering if more is going to come of it." She told me. "Just give him time to process everything, and then try talking it through with him. He's too nice to have meant to hurt you, Melissa."

I nodded. Maybe that was the only reason he'd said those hurtful things. But then a thought hit me.

"Elli, I'm not trying to offend you or anything, but from what I've seen, you've never really had a boyfriend." I said, trying to word it as nicely as I could. "How do you know all these things?"

"I read." She said, laughing a little. "And boys are pretty simple, if you really think about it. Not too hard to figure out what's going through their heads."

I laughed with her, the tears in my eyes already dried by this point. "I won't argue with that."

* * *

><p><strong>If you liked it, leave a review! Even if you didn't, leave one! :P - C<strong>


	7. Detention and Deadly Plants

**Elli's Point of View**

Though Quidditch practice was supposed to happen every other day, James said that we wouldn't actually be starting it for another two weeks. I was thankful, because I would have had to miss my first practice ever due to the detention I had, if we'd started early.

So, come Friday night, I was doing nothing other than waiting for 7:00 to come so I could get my detention over with.

I'd already finished all my homework that I'd been assigned over the weekend as I nervously waited to see what would happen. I'd never had detention before. I wasn't the type of person who caused trouble. What if it was horrible? Jenkins was most definitely mean enough for it to be very bad.

"Don't worry about it, Elli." Remus said.

He was sitting across from me on one of the couches in our dorm. I hadn't seen him much over the last two days, after his kiss with Melissa. I hoped I'd helped some when I spoke to her, but I hadn't seen them together since then.

My heart went out to Melissa, but she also further proved that people always hurt you if you let them get too close. If there was ever a sweeter guy than Remus, I hadn't met him. Yet he'd still managed to hurt her.

"I can't help it. I'm not one to get in trouble." I said, and when I realized I was ripping a piece of paper into pieces, I stopped.

"It won't be that bad." He reassured me.

Sirius had been talking to a girl in the corner, but came over at Lupin's words. "Ha, sure it won't." He said sarcastically. "Jenkins hates me. I'm sure it's going to be horrible."

I looked at Remus, my eyes wide. "He's kidding."

"Uh," Remus said, looking sheepish. "Sure?"

"Oh, God." I said, leaning back against the couch and closing my eyes. "Great! I just _had_ to give you a stupid quill."

"I didn't ask you for it." Sirius snapped, sounding annoyed.

"I couldn't just let Jenkins humiliate you like that." I snapped right back. "No matter how insufferable you are."

"Well thanks so much, Elli." He said, sneering at me.

Maybe it was the amount of anger in his voice, or the fact that I'd never heard him it before, but when his husky voice formed my name, my eyes opened and met his.

I glared right back at his intense grey eyes. I'd never been so... so... annoyed, infuriated, just plain upset over _anyone_ in such a long time, that I was surprised to find that my own anger matched his.

"I don't think detention is going to be much of a problem if you kill each other first." Remus said, looking warily at Sirius and I.

I blinked, no longer caught up in the staring war between Sirius and I. I frowned.

"Sorry." I told Remus. "I'm just... on edge. I didn't mean to be so rude." Though that last part was really meant for Sirius, I couldn't make myself look at him while I said it.

Remus just shook his head, an amused smile on his face.

"What?" Sirius asked him, now looking annoyed with someone that wasn't me for a change.

"Nothing." Remus said, his smile growing bigger. "You might want to go to detention now, though. I'm going to assume that, in event that you both arrive late, you'll be given another detention and I'd hate to see what you'd do to each other during that time."

Sirius rolled his eyes but stood up and stormed out of the room. Shooting one last apologetic look at Remus, I ran after him. If Sirius was there on time and I was late, I'd probably get in even more trouble.

"Will you slow down?" I yelled after him, still running. But Sirius had really long legs and moved fast.

Sirius looked over his shoulder at me and slowed his pace the smallest amount. "If you didn't have such short legs, you wouldn't have such a problem."

"Screw you!" I told him, angry. "I'm not short. You're just a freakishly tall mutant."

" 'Screw you'? What? Can't say fuck?" Sirius shot back.

"No, I just choose not to be vulgar." I snapped.

"What ever." Sirius said, and we ignored each other for the rest of the walk to Jenkins office, which was in a small room that you could only get to through the Defense Against the Dark Arts room.

I knocked softly on the door to Jenkins' office. It swung forwards and Sirius and I both shuffled in, Sirius looking as confident and bored as usual, while I felt nervous and a little sick.

"Sit." Jenkins grunted. I did as I was told. Jenkins was busy reading something, so I looked around the room that I'd never had to enter before.

It was creepy to say the least. There was pictures of creepy creatures on the walls, and also photos of people with severed body parts, bleeding and moaning in pain. I shivered a little at the site of them, my skin breaking into goose-bumps.

Finally, Jenkins looked up. "You both realize why you're here, I assume."

Sirius and I both nodded.

"So you understand why you deserve to be punished." Jenkins said quietly.

"Not really." Sirius muttered.

I knew Jenkins couldn't see our feet, so I kicked him in the shin.

"What was that?" Jenkins asked, looking delighted to give Sirius and I more detention.

"Nothing, Sirius just coughed." I lied.

"Coughed." Jenkins repeated dryly.

We both knew that he couldn't give us another detention for that, and so he let it go.

"For punishment, you will both be doing a little... harvesting, for Professor Sprout." He said, smiling cruelly. "A certain plant of hers just became full grown, and she needs someone to pick the seeds for her."

That wasn't so bad, I thought. Maybe I had just been foolish, thinking we'd have to do something horrible. Teachers weren't allowed to get us hurt or anything. I didn't understand why he was smiling like that, though.

"What kind of plants?" Sirius asked, not looking nearly as relieved as I felt.

"Abrus precatorius." Jenkins said, still smiling.

Sirius just stared at him as if he'd expect this. It took me a moment to realize why it wasn't a good thing.

"But the seeds are deadly!" I said, outraged. "Just the smallest prick from the seed and you'd die in less than a minute!"

"That, Mrs. Mason, is why you'll be wearing dragon-skin gloves." Jenkins replied, looking annoyed, as if he would have preferred us to not wear them. He pulled two pairs out of his desk drawer. "And I'll be supplying you with a few bezoars to take with you as well." He handed Sirius and I both a pair of gloves and a bezoar.

Sirius still stayed silent. I decided to as well, realizing no amount of protest would make Jenkins change his mind, and pushing him any farther would result in just more detention.

"Now, the plant itself is inside greenhouse 2. There's buckets for the seeds there. When you fill all the buckets, you may go." Jenkins said. "And don't think about trying to sneak off, because I'll know if you do."

Without a word, both Sirius and I exited Jenkins office. Silently, we walked down to greenhouse 2. The door was open and, as I walked in, my heart fell into my stomach. The walls and were covered in the plant and there was about fifteen buckets on the ground, waiting to be filled. Each pod of the abrus precatorius had about ten seeds in it, which we'd need to extract without being pricked by the pointed end of the seed. Each bucket looked like it would hold at least a thousand seeds.

"We'll be here until breakfast tomorrow!" Sirius said, staring around.

He looked about as outraged as I had felt back in Jenkins office, but we'd both realized there was nothing we could do about it.

"Complaining isn't going to get this done any faster." I said, grabbing a bucket and bringing it over to the other side of the room.

And so I began the process of picking pods from the plant and carefully taking out the seeds, putting them in the bucket. This wasn't safe at all, though. The seeds of some of the pods stuck out of them, and if you reached your hand too far into the plant, you'd risk getting pricked. But most of the pods were so far back in the plant you had stick your hand in, at least a little.

After about an hour, my arms were sore, as were my hands. But my first bucket was nearly full. The only reason I stopped is because of the weird flicking noise I heard behind me.

I turned to see Sirius lighting a cigarette, sitting on an upturned bucket. I watched for a moment as he took a long drag, then exhaling the smoke.

"Are you seriously smoking right now?" I asked, incredulous.

Sirius smirked at me. "Are you going to tell on me, Elli?"

"No, but I'd like to get out of here before midnight, so you should get back to work." I said, turning away from him. "And that could be hazardous to the plant."

"That plant is much more hazardous to me than I am to it." Sirius replied.

"What ever." I said, and started to work again.

But Sirius managed to make it impossible to concentrate.

"It's so _quiet_ in here. It's driving me insane." He said about half an hour later.

"It's detention; it's not supposed to be enjoyable." I told him as I emptied a rather large pod into my second bucket.

And that was that. Until, half an hour later, he spoke up again.

"Do you honestly think we have to fill _all_ of these?"

"I have no idea." I said with a sigh.

Again we went back to silently working. I'd filled my second bucket by now, my third one only had a few seeds in the bottom. I let out another sigh, wondering if we honestly had to fill each bucket too, but not voicing it aloud to Sirius.

About an hour later, the door to the green room opened on its own. I turned towards it, and then looked at Sirius.

"Did you do that?" I asked.

"No," He said, but he watched the door, an expectant look on his face.

And out of nowhere, James Potter appeared. He was grinning like a fool, a large piece of parchment in his hands.

"Finally." Sirius said. "I was about ready to prick myself with one of these." He said, holding up a seed.

"I was actually on my way down to see Hagrid." James told Sirius. He spotted me in the corner and hastily put away the parchment he'd been carrying. "Hello, Elli."

I put my hands on my hips, annoyed. "Come to lend a hand?" I asked.

I usually liked James, but right now all I wanted to do was get back up to the common room and go to sleep.

"No, I was just about to go on my way, actually. But Remus told me to make sure you hadn't killed each other." He said, grinning again. "Have fun, Sirius."

Sirius looked furious as James walked out the door of the greenhouse.

"Like I really want to be stuck in here, with you, on a Friday night!" Sirius said, kicking over a bucket in anger.

"You're not the only one not happy, Sirius." I said, grabbing a pod and throwing the seeds into the bucket with a little more force than before.

"Oh, sorry, Elli. I thought this would be fun for you, actually hanging out with someone for once instead of sitting alone in a corner, reading a book." He snapped.

"I prefer to be alone." I retorted angrily.

"Sure you do." He said sarcastically. "Its not because you don't have any friends."

"I have friends." I told him, but even I knew that wasn't really true. But that was by choice. I didn't _want_ friends. I didn't need friends. I didn't really need anyone. Everything was so much easier that way.

"And that's why you're always alone, except for the few times that Remus and Melissa feel sorry for you and include you in conversation." Sirius retaliated harshly.

"I choose not to have friends!" I shouted angrily. "So don't pretend to know anything about me!"

"Oh, you mean the way you do about me?" He shot back.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, turning to glare at him.

"It means that you made up your mind about me without even knowing a thing about me."

"I know enough to know that I upset you because you expect every God damn girl at this school to _worship _you, and I don't." I told him.

"Like I give a _shit_ what a friendless little uptight bookworm thinks about me." He said, his eyes blazing furiously.

"You're an asshole." I said quietly.

No one said anything for a few minutes. I felt tears prick at my eyes, and couldn't figure out why. Why did he upset me so God damned much?

"Look, Elli," Sirius started.

"No, don't bother." I snapped.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly.

"I doesn't matter!" I shouted back.

"I didn't mean that." He said, ignoring me. "It's just that you... you're so infuriating sometimes."

"Who cares?" I asked, wiping at my eyes with the back of my hand, the tears threatening to spill over. I didn't care, I told myself. "You're right."

"No, I'm not–,"

"Yes, you are. Can we just drop it?" I asked.

Sirius didn't say anything, so I went back to work despite the blurring affect the un-shed tears had on my eyesight.

Not being able to see completely right, I reached into the stupid plant to grab a pod. Just as my hand enveloped the pod, something pointed stuck into my arm, which I must have thrust too far into the plant.

I had a second to panic and call out to Sirius before I blacked out completely.

* * *

><p><strong>Sirius's Point of View <strong>

I shouldn't have said those things to her. I was just so _angry_. But she wouldn't let me apologize. I was lying when I said Melissa and Remus only spoke to her out of pity. Everyone seemed to like Elli. I was the only one who seemed to be annoyed by her.

Remus was right; another detention alone together and one of us probably wouldn't come back alive, the way we hated each other so much.

But as I watched her wipe furiously at her eyes, a small part of me wanted to comfort her, to wrap my arms around her shoulders and tell her that it would be okay, anything to make the tears go away. But then an image of her, cheeks flushed in anger, telling me I was insufferable, flashed across my mind and I got annoyed all over again.

"Sirius!" Elli cried.

Then there was a thud, and I turned around, confused. Elli lay there, her blonde hair creating a halo around her head, convulsing.

"Elli!" I exclaimed, running over to her.

A small seed stuck out of her arm. She must have put her arm too far into the plant. As quick as I could, I grabbed the bezoar out of my pocket and stuck it in her mouth, hoping she'd be able to swallow it.

"Damn it, Elli! Swallow it, you idiot!" I shouted at her.

Finally, in the middle of her convulsing, the bezoar went down her throat

But I didn't have time to be relieved.

"Wake up." I told her, shaking her shoulders. "Wake up! You're fine. You're fine!"

But she didn't move.

"Elli!" I shouted at her, but again, nothing.

An abrus precatorius seed could kill in about a minute. What if I hadn't gotten the bezoar into her in time?

"Come on." I said, waiting for her to wake up and shout at me for yelling and annoying her. But she didn't.

My hand fumbled for her wrist, and finally I grabbed it. I placed my fingers gently to the inside of it. Her pulsed thrummed softly against my fingers.

I only allowed myself a moment of relief before I stood up and, grabbing my small body by the waist, carried her out of the greenhouse and towards the castle.

I could hear her soft, shallow pants as I carried her, but she didn't speak and she never moved. If it not for her breaths and her pulse, I'd have been sure she was dead. As quickly as I couldood, I carried her up to the hospital wing.

"Madame Pomfry!" I shouted.

"What?" The older witch said, sounding angry that I'd shouted in her hospital room.

"She got pricked." I said, helplessly gesturing at Elli, who was still in my arms. "Abrus precatorius seed. I managed to get a bezoar into her, but she's not waking up."

"Put her down here." Madame Pomfry ordered. I did as I was told. "No, go back to your dorm, Mr. Black."

"What?" I asked, not moving. "Is she going to be okay?" I demanded.

"Go back to your dorm, Black and let me deal with my patient!" She snapped.

Realizing she wasn't going to let up, I walked out of the room, slamming the door on my way out. If I hadn't upset her, Elli probably wouldn't have carelessly stuck her hand into the stupid plant. If I hadn't been such an ass, she'd be okay.

But she wasn't. And it was all my fault.

I didn't know what time it was when I stormed into the Gryffindor common room, but a lot of people were still up, including Remus and James, who had gotten back from seeing Hagrid, and Peter.

"Looks like you two managed to get through detention without killing each other." Remus said when he noticed me. He let out a laugh, and James and Peter joined in with him.

I glared at him, not in the mood to find his joke funny. What if I _had_ gotten Elli killed? What if she wouldn't wake up?

"Woah, what's wrong with you?" James asked, standing up. "Are you okay?"

In response, I kicked over a wooden chair. Many people looked at me, but I was too upset with myself to care.

"Where's Elli?" Remus asked.

"She's in the hospital wing!" I shouted at him before storming up to our room without a glance back to see how they reacted to my outburst.

I lay in bed for a long time. It was there that I realized that, no matter how much she infuriated me, if Elli wasn't okay, I'd never be able to forgive myself.

* * *

><p><strong>This is probably one of my favorite chapters so far. I really enjoyed writing it. I like it when people fight; what can I say, I'm masochistic. Anyways, tell my what you thought in a review! And a big thanks to those two people who've already left reviews. You guys are awesome. :) - C<strong>


	8. Hospitals and Hostility

**Sirius's Point of View**

"You should bring Elli her books." I said to Alice Marchbanks, Elli's roommate, as we walked to class two days after Elli's accident.

"Oh, really?" Alice asked, raising her eyebrows and smiling a little. "Why is that?"

"Because she likes to read, everyone knows that." I said, irritated at the slightly amused expression on her face. "And she's probably bored."

"But I thought you hated Elli. Why should you care?" Alice questioned.

Alice, who dated Frank Longbottom, who was on the Quidditch team with me, was the type of girl who thought that people were only happy when they were in a relationship. Many times, during after-game parties, she questioned me on why I hadn't settled down with a nice girl yet.

No doubt she thought that I harbored a secret love for Elli, the one attractive girl in the world I'd never go after in a million years.

"I do hate her, and I don't care." I snapped. "But that doesn't mean I don't feel bad about- after what happened I- ... Just bring her the stupid books!" I said, stalking off. "Or don't, I really couldn't care less!" I called over my shoulder.

"What was that about?" Lupin asked, eying the now widely smiling Alice.

"Nothing." I said, now snapping on Lupin.

"You've been nothing but moody since detention the other night." Lupin commented.

"So what?" I asked, annoyed. "I'm allowed to be moody! That's my job! James is the great Quidditch player, you're the smart one who tries to keep me and James from making too much trouble, and I'm the good-looking, moody one."

"And what does that make Peter?" James asked, catching up to us after leaving Lily behind with a group of her friends.

"Peter is the one that idolizes us and does whatever we say." I finished.

"You're still more moody than usual, Padfoot." James put in, looking curious. "What is it that's bothering you?"

"Why does something have to be bothering me?" I asked him, not able to keep my eyes from narrowing at both him and Lupin. "Maybe I'm just bipolar and you're both being insensitive."

"Come off it." James said, rolling his eyes. "Just tell us what it is."

"We're you best mates." Lupin added. "You can tell us, you know."

"Yes, you're my best mates, but we're also men." I said, rolling my eyes. "Men don't discuss their problems with other men."

"Ah, so there is a problem." James said, smirking.

"There is no stupid problem!" I shouted. Several people looked our way but I ignored them. "You're both almost as insufferable as Elli."

"Elli?" Lupin asked, looking thoughtful. "You know, I've given it a lot of thought, and you're sulking seemed to start about the time that she almost died. And you've been even more angry with Jenkins since that night, and we all know it was because of his detention that she got hurt."

"So is that it, then?" James asked, raising his eyebrows. "Have you finally decided to show interest in a girl that isn't strictly physical?"

"First of all," I said, cutting Lupin off before he could start again. "I could care less about what happened with Elli. I'm happy she's not dead, but besides that I haven't given the girl any thought. Second of all, I wouldn't show _any _interest in that infuriating, annoying-,"

"Alright, we get it." Lupin said, now looking as annoyed as I felt. "I don't see why you have to hate on Elli so much. "

"Lily says she's really nice, you know." James commented. "And she _is_ quite attractive."

"She could be the most attractive girl in the world but that doesn't mean that I'd go after her." I scoffed. "Her personality is too off putting to look past."

"I think," Lupin said, shooting me a glare. "That your real problem with her is that she won't fawn all over you."

"It's got nothing to do with that!" I retorted, more than a little surprised to hear Lupin take her side over mine.

"Then what is it, Sirius? Everyone else gets on with her just fine, but you can't seem to stay in a room with her for five seconds without someone yelling."

"Did you ever consider," I started, giving Lupin an icy look. "That I'm the victim? That _she_ hates _me_ for no reason? Everyone's so quick to jump to her side, but what have _I_ done to _her_?"

Lupin paused for a minute, while James watched the two of us, his eyes a little wide. Lupin and I had never really faught before, and it was no doubt surprising for everyone.

Finally, Lupin gave a huge sigh.

"Elli is my friend." Lupin told me. "I don't know what it is that you two have against each other, but I'd appreciate it if, out of respect for me, you'd both stop fighting."

"Fine." I snapped and, before either he or James could start on me again, I hurried to class, choosing to sit beside a random Hufflepuff instead of one of them.

I would try to abide by my promise to Lupin, but I wasn't sure if I could. Elli and I were just two people who seemed destined to hate each other. Even I couldn't really remember what exactly it was that made the two of us hate each other so. But at this point, it no longer mattered, really. We'd past the point of mending any friendship we could have had.

And, to be honest, I wasn't exactly upset about that.

But Lupin was right, when he suggested that I'd been upset the last two days because of Elli's accident. I'd never admit it to anyone, but when I saw her lying on the floor, motionless, I'd been so afraid. I couldn't help but feel as though the whole thing was my fault.

Had I not upset her so much, she would have most likely been fine. She never would have stuck her hand so stupidly into the plant, causing herself to get pricked with the deadly seeds poison. But I'd said those things, and she'd almost died. The first night after the accident, when I wasn't sure if she would ever be okay or not, I did nothing but sit in bed, worrying.

If she died, I'd forever be haunted by her face, blaming myself for it.

She was okay though, which I learned the next day when Remus told me that Melissa had seen Elli in the hospital wing. Though both he and James tried to coax out of me the story of what happened, I did not relive it to them.

And as I sat there in class, ignoring Jenkins speech on 'The signs that your opponent is about to cast a non-verbal spell' I prayed that, when Elli finally returned from the hosptial wing, I would stop picturing her body lying on the floor of the greenhouse.

**Elli's Point of View**

Sitting in a hospital for an entire week wasn't something anyone would enjoy. Not only did I miss out on classes, but when you have nothing to do, you realize how long a day really is.

Of course, I had visitors. Melissa came by frequently, and Remus also stopped by a couple times. Alice also came by twice, once to make sure I was doing okay, and the other time to bring me my books from my room so I'd have something to do.

"Now, if you feel any nausea, or if you feel lightheaded, be sure to come back up here." Madam Pomfrey instructed me as I prepared, finally, to leave the hospital wing.

Books in hand, I pushed the door to open. "I will." I promised. "Thank you, for everything."

"Just be careful around dangerous plants from now on." She cautioned, but gave me a small smile.

I returned her smile, stepping out of the large, quiet room.

The walk back to Gryffindor tower was more straining than usual. After being bedridden for a week, my legs felt wobbly and unused. Panting a little, I finally stood in front of the Fat Lady.

"Nice to see you back." She told me, smiling. "Password?"

"Shoot!" I muttered. "I've been in the hospital, I don't know it."

"Sorry, dear. I can't let anyone pass without the password." The Fat Lady said, looking apologetic.

"It's not your fault." I said with a sigh.

I leaned against the wall, deciding that I had no other option but to wait for someone to come and open the door for me. After a few minutes, I let myself slip down the wall. My body was too weak to just stand around for long. All I wanted to do was get into my bed and sleep. The hospital beds weren't uncomfortable, exactly, but they didn't compare to the soft bed I had up in my room.

I must have nodded off because next thing I new, the four Marauders stood above me, laughing about something.

I stood up, wiping at my eyes with the hand that wasn't carrying my books.

"Oh, Elli!" Said Remus, smiling. "You're back. How are you feeling?"

"Tired." I muttered. "I didn't have the password."

"It's Gillyweed." James said to me and the Fat Lady.

"Right you are!" She replied, swinging open to admit the five of us.

"I'm so thankful you all showed up." I said, walking into the common room with them. "I think I fell asleep waiting for someone to come by."

"Well, it's good to see you're back." Remus told me, smiling. All the Marauders turned to go upstairs to the boys dormitories. "Well, see you tomorrow!"

"Wait, Sirius, can I have a word?" I called before they could disappear up the stairs.

The other boys looking curious, but kept going up the stairs as Sirius headed back down.

"What is it?" He asked, his voice more polite than it usually was when we spoke. I was most surprised to find that his face was rather blank, not showing the usual annoyance.

"I just..." I paused, taking a deep breath. "I wanted to thank you. For, you know, saving my life."

For a second a flash of annoyance crossed his face, as if he couldn't believe I was actually thanking him. But it passed as quickly as it appeared.

"Don't worry about it." He said, looking around the room instead of at me, looking blank again. "Anyone would have done it."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I'm not thankful." I said, feeling slightly annoyed now too.

"Well, you shouldn't. It was my fault, anyways." He muttered.

"What do you mean?" I asked him, confused. Perhaps it was because he'd upset me that I'd gotten hurt, but it wasn't _really_ his fault. The plant was dangerous, chances are one of us would have gotten hurt anyways.

"Nothing." He snapped. "Can I go now?"

"I- Yeah, I guess." I stuttered, surprised by his sudden change of mood.

And he turned on the spot and hurried up the stairs. I stared after him for a moment, contemplating what he said. Had he felt bad? Did he, Sirius Black, honestly care that I'd been hurt?

But the second he disappeared from sight, I realized that he was probably only worried that he could have been in trouble if I hadn't gotten better. With that final thought, I headed upstairs and climbed greatfully in to my bed.

I'd thanked him, I'd done what I meant to do. Now I'd never have to talk to Sirius Black ever again.

* * *

><p><strong>This chapter is shorter than usual, because I had to write it three times. First, my computer shut down before I saved it. The second time, the file was lost even though I saved it. But I actually like it better this time around. ANYWAYS! Reviews would be greatly appreciated after all that hard work! :P - C<strong>


	9. Practices and Pranks

**Lupin's Point of View**

With Elli back from the hospital, Quidditch practices finally started, a week later than James originally intended. It was good to have something to do, other than school work.

I liked having something to distract myself from thoughts of Melissa. Every time I saw her, the urge to apologize over and over until she finally forgave me was so strong. But with Quiddtich, I saw her a lot less.

It seemed I wasn't the only one who benefited from the distraction of Quidditch. Sirius, who was still moody as ever, only really had fun anymore when we were out on the pitch. Though he and Elli never spoke during practices, they also never fought, which was a big step for them.

"Your robes," James said to Elli and I at practice two weeks after Elli was released from the hospital. He handed them to us.

They were a deep scarlet, with our last names written on the back in gold. I put mine on, as did Elli. They were more comfortable than normal robes. It was easier to move in them, which was better for playing.

Elli looked down at herself, a huge smile on her face. Though practices were going well, a few people were still a little upset about Elli being on the team. Though she definitely earned her position, two other members of the Gryffindor team, Joeseph McLaggen and Ralph Young, didn't exactly welcome.

"It's like I'm really part of it." She said quietly.

No one said anything, but I understood what she meant. With everyone working against her, having her team robes really signified that, no matter what anyone said or thought, she really was part of it.

I gave her a small smile. Sirius was also watching Elli, but he had a sort of confused look on his face. Perhaps he didn't understand what she meant, the way I did. Maybe it took going through the same thing, the feelings of being an outsider but finally getting accepted, to understand her.

And I had gone through the same thing, when James, Sirius and Peter finally found out that I was a werewolf. I'd expected them to turn their backs on me, as most wizards did to my kind. But they didn't. They accepted me anyways.

"Right, I want everyone back here two days from now at 7pm." James told everyone.

Most of the team scattered, leaving just James, Sirius, Elli and I. Elli was currently taking of her robes and hanging them up for the first time on a hook. She was still smiling.

"Think we'll win against Slytherin next month?" Sirius asked James.

James gave a short laugh. "Definitely. Though I think our chances would be a little better," James said, raising his voice a little louder so Elli could clearly hear him. "If you and Elli would work harder at being a team. You guys need to pay attention to each other as much as you do the bludgers."

Elli's hand froze in the middle of trying her shoe, and Sirius visibly bristled.

"But-," Sirius started, but James raised a hand.

"No buts." James said firmly. "I'm assigning you both extra practices. I've already spoken with McGonagall and she's allowed me to book the pitch on days when no ones practicing. Starting tomorrow, and whenever the pitch is available, you will both work hard at becoming a team."

Again, Sirius started to protest. Elli, on the other hand, was extremely silent, though she was frowning slightly.

"Until you both start showing improvement at team practices, you'll do as I say. Unless you want me to replace you. Don't think I can't," James quickly put in when Sirius rolled his eyes at him. "Most teams haven't even started practicing yet. It wouldn't be that big of a set back."

"I thought we were friends!" Sirius shouted, looking simultaneously angry and annoyed.

"We are." James said, looking tired. "But I'm still captain of this team and I'll be damned if I lose because you two can't work together!"

Sirius stormed off, but Elli stayed behind.

"I don't mind." She said softly. "If we win, everyone will have to get off my back."

"Look, Elli. If anyone on the team is going out of their way to make you feel unwelcome-,"

She cut James off. "It's not a problem." She said, and suddenly looked fierce, despite her usually serene demeanor. "I know I deserve this and I'm not going to allow a few sexist men scare me off."

"Well, good." James said, frowning slightly. "Just... work on things with Sirius. I'll see you at 7 tomorrow so you and Sirius can practice."

"Alright." She said, giving both James and I a smile. "See you."

And she too left.

"They're going to kill each other, you know." I told James as we both left as well.

James laughed. "They'll be fine. Now, what I really wanted to discus, though it would be better with Sirius here, is our prank on the Slytherins."

"I don't know about that..." I said, feeling slightly nervous.

"The plan is great!" James said carelessly. "As long as everything goes accordingly. Did you do what I asked you?"

"Yes, but-,"

"Come on, Moony! When have our pranks ever gone wrong?" James asked as we walked inside the castle.

"Well, never. But there's always a first for everything." I said, still unsure.

"No one will get hurt, we can't really get in trouble for it." James assured me. "Well, actually... but don't worry about it."

* * *

><p>The next day, James, Sirius, Peter and I, with the help of the Marauders map, headed down to the Great Hall.<p>

"This is so brilliant." Sirius said, grinning.

"I'm glad to see you're not sulking anymore." James told him.

"Who can sulk when there's a perfectly good prank to do?" Sirius asked happily.

"So you admit you were sulking?" Peter replied.

The grin instantly vanished from Sirius's face, but he didn't say anything.

"Should we wait till they're all heading back after dinner?" I asked. "Or should we do it _during_ dinner?"

"After, definitely. That way we'll be able to get someone to open the common room door." James answered.

So, as we normally did, we all headed to the great hall for dinner. Ten minutes before everyone would usually leave, James and Sirius left the table.

Peter and I waited until, at last, Severus Snape exited the hall, a book under his nose. We followed him until he was far enough away from anyone to be heard.

"Severus!" I called out.

He turned and, in one swift movement, pointed his wand at me.

"Woah, put that down!" I said, narrowing my eyes at him. Though I did not hate on Snape the way Sirius and James did, I did not like having someone threateningly pointing their wand at me.

"What do you want?" Snape asked, lowering his wand when he realized I wasn't accompanied by James and Sirius.

"It's Lily." I said, and instantly he looked curious.

"What about her, is she hurt?" He asked quickly, looking slightly alarmed.

"No, nothing like that." I assured him. "But she told me to ask you to meet her up in the girls bathroom on the second floor."

"She did?" He asked, looking slightly suspicious.

"Yes, why do you think I'm not with James and Sirius? She told me not to tell them." I said, just as Sirius had instructed me to.

Snape would never believe a thing we said if he thought either of them had something to do with it.

"If you're lying-,"

"Why would I lie about that?" I asked, faking annoyance. "If you don't want to go, you could just say so. I'm sure Lily will be disappointed, but-,"

"No, I'm going." Snape said and quickly hastened towards the second floor bathroom, where I knew that Sirius and James were both waiting.

Peter and I both hurried in the opposite direction, knowing that there was an alternative path to the bathroom. When we arrived, Sirius was stunned and being stuffed into a stall in the bathroom.

"Give me the potion." Sirius said to James, who handed over one of his tiny flasks that was filled with Polyjuice potion, a difficult potion that, had James not stolen a bunch of it from Slughorn, would have taken a month to make.

"Hurry up, we don't have much time." I said nervously, watching the stall to make sure Snape didn't awaken.

Sirius, who had plucked a hair from Snape's head, added it to the potion and waited a moment before drinking it. He made a disgusted face, but his expression was soon lost due to the transformation he was undergoing.

In a matter of about thirty seconds, Sirius was no longer standing before us, but instead Severus Snape, looking greasy haired and hook-nosed as ever.

"That tasted disgusting." He said, wrinkling his nose.

"Who cares?" James asked, pulling out his invisibility cloak. "Let's go."

James huddled around Peter and I and threw the cloak over us. James and I had to duck so that it covered our feet. Sirius was chosen to drink the first of the potion because he was much too tall to fit under the cloak with anyone else.

Sirius hunched a little as he walked, the way Snape did. Before long, they'd spotted Lucius Malfoy's girlfriend, Narcissa.

"Narcissa." Sirius called.

She turned, looking slightly annoyed. "What is it, Severus?"

"I need to tell you something." Sirius said. Then, faking a look of nervousness, he glanced around. "It's about Lucius, but I don't want to be overheard."

"Of course." She said, looking nervous now too.

The two of them set off down an empty hallway, Narcissa not noticing the three invisible boys following them.

"I've just seen him, heading to Dumbledore's office. Something about the Dark Lord..." Snape trailed off.

Narcissa's eyes widened. "Does he know? Dumbledore?" She whispered, her hand covering her mouth in horror."

"I'm not sure." Snape said solemnly. Then, as if noticing something on her robes, he reached over and plucked a piece of her hair that was dangling off it. "Sorry, hair." He said, but discretely kept the piece hidden in his hand. "Anyways, I think you should go wait for him. Make sure he's okay."

"Yes, yes, of course!" She said, and hurried off down the hall.

As soon as she disappeared, James pulled out his second flask of the potion and Sirius added Narcissa's hair to it. James drank this time, shrinking a little, his hair growing and turning a pale blonde.

"You guys know what to do then?" Narcissa/James asked Peter and I, who were still under the cloak.

"Yes." I said nervously. "If anyone comes by, shout Gillyweed."

"Okay, good." James said and, without another word, he and Sirius headed down towards the dungeons, where Slytherin house lived.

Halfway to the dungeons, we walked passed a Hufflepuff girl in our year. Sirius smirked at her.

"Nice rack!" He said, giving her a wink.

"Pervert!" She shouted at him, throwing a disgusted look over her shoulder and she hurried past.

James, Sirius and Peter laughed.

Once in the dungeons, we came across a group of younger Slytherins.

"We can't remember the password." Narcissa said, her expression haughty. "Open it!"

The younger kids hurried to do as she said.

The Slytherin common room had a weirdly green glow to it, due to being under the lake. It was odd and claustrophobic feeling. Lucius Malfoy was sitting on a couch, talking to a few of his friends.

"Narcissa." He called.

Throwing an annoyed, slightly panicked look at Sirius, James walked towards him. That had not been part of the plan. We were all supposed to stick together.

Sirius shrugged and kept walking, towards the dorm rooms. Each on had the names of who was living in them on the door.

Finally we came across Lucius's.

"Lucky, them all rooming together. Makes this so much easier." Sirius said.

He pushed open the door, leaving Peter and I standing under the invisibility cloak and watching the hall.

There was a few bangs, and a weird popping noise coming from the room. A minute later, Sirius opened the door, grinning madly.

"Look!" He whispered.

Peter and I shifted to look at the room. It was a mess. Clothing and books and belongings were strewn across the floor, covered in what looked like green slime.

"I covered the beds with that boil stuff, too. Won't expect that, will they? They'll be too busy being upset about their stuff." Sirius said, laughing.

When the three of us reentered the common room, Narcissa was standing up, looking livid.

"I won't allow you to treat me like some fool!" She shrieked at Lucius, who looked more than a little confused.

"What do you mean?" He asked. "I didn't-,"

"You did! You said I should just let _you_ do all the work." She shouted back. "You think I'm not capable! Not as smart, or powerful as you!"

"I didn't-,"

"We're through!" She told him. "I never want to see your face again!"

And with that, she stalked out of the room. The rest of us hurried to catch up with James.

"What was that about?" Sirius asked as soon as they were out of the room.

James laughed. "I winged it!" He said. "I'm sure they'll realize it wasn't her eventually, but that was fun, at least."

Suddenly, as if a mirror had propped up in the middle of the hall, Severus and Narcissa were striding our way, talking heatedly to each other. Sirius and James hurried down a hall before they spotted them.

"Guess our little prank is about to be discovered." I said, and the other boys laughed.

I felt nervous, and didn't join them. What if we were caught? Expelled?

"Stop worrying, Moony!" Sirius said. He looked happier than he had done in days.

"They deserved it." James said, looking suddenly serious. "After what they did to Elli."

I agreed, but that fact still didn't make me feel any better.

Halfway up to Gryffindor tower, Peter and I shrugged off the cloak. Just as we had done, Melissa came around the corner and I wished I hadn't.

"Oh, so this is who you're hanging out with now?" She asked me, looking annoyed. "Nice choice, Lupin."

"Since when do you call me Lupin and not Remus?" I asked, hurt.

"Since when did you hang out with these scum?" She snapped. She glared at Narcissa, who, just last year, Melissa had had a fight with. Their hatred of each other was known by everyone after Melissa used a really good batboogey hex on Narcissa.

"Oh, calm down." James said, laughing. "It's only Sirius and I. Just getting back at a few Slytherins."

"Nice job, stooping to their level." Melissa spat at me, not looking at anyone else. "I expected better of you."

And she walked off, not looking back.

"She'll forgive you eventually." James said, as I watched her back until she disappeared. "Don't worry."

But again, James's words didn't soothe me. From the looks of it, Melissa and I would never be able to go back to the way things were.


	10. Conflict and Confessions

**Elli's Point of View**

"What did you do?" I hissed in Sirius's ear.

"What do you mean?" He asked, the same polite and blank expression on his face that he had wore on the day I was released from the hospital.

We were walking to the Quidditch pitch, but since night hadn't completely fallen, a few people were still out around the grounds.

"You know what I'm talking about." I whispered angrily.

"No, I _really_ don't." Sirius said, not looking at me.

"What you and your friends did to Malfoy and his friends!" I said, annoyed with him for playing dumb.

"How did you hear about that so fast? The Polyjuice potions _just_ wore off." He said, raising his eyebrows at me.

"Because, thanks to you, a group of his friends cornered and threatened me!" I shouted, done with whispering since we were at the pitch. "They seemed to think I was in on it."

"What did they do?" He asked quickly, his expressions, for a split-second, full of concern. Then it smoothed back to indifference before I could even react.

"Nothing, yet." I said, talking more softly now. "But they said if you guys decided to do anything again..." I trailed off, recalling how the tall blonde death-eater in training had said that my days were already numbered because once the 'Dark Lord', as they called him, came into power, the mudbloods would all be taken out.

"What?" Sirius pushed.

"Don't worry about it. I'm fully capable of handling myself." I snapped, stomping off into the changing rooms.

I didn't want to admit that I'd actually been scared. For once in their pathetic lives, Malfoy's little friends had actually frightened me. Six on one, they'd cornered me in an abandoned hallway. Even if I'd had a chance to react, I wouldn't have been able to fight off all six of them. At the time I considered taking out as many as I could and running for it, but with a simple spell cast by Dolohov, I was frozen.

But, to my immense relief, they just wanted to question me about what happened in Malfoy's room. They mentioned something about destroying their stuff, and Severus Snape, but didn't relay exactly what had happened.

When I told them I didn't know anything, they let me go, but promised me that if they found out I was lying I'd be in trouble.

After pulling on my Quidditch robes, Sirius and I left the changing rooms. James Potter was waiting outside, holding a ball and two pieces of cloth. He had two broomsticks at his feet.

"What are you going to make us do?" Sirius asked, his widened eyes staring at the cloth in James' hand.

As a reply, James just grinned.

Hours later, Sirius and I finally returned from the Quidditch pitch. James had made us pass a ball back and forth down the pitch, while blindfolded. It was hard, and we had to rely entirely on communication. James left right away, so he was already back at the common room when we got there.

Sirius, still holding the stupid ball, launched it at James's head. It bounced off it, apparently not hurting James, who turned at laughed at Sirius's annoyed expression.

"Have a fun practice?" Remus asked, smiling innocently.

I picked up the ball, which had bounced to my feet, and threw it at Remus.

"I'll take that as a no." He replied, catching it.

"We practiced for thee _hours_." I said, annoyed. "Three hours of no one to talk to but Sirius!"

"I'm surprised you both made it back here in one piece." James commented.

"Especially after what happened last time you two spent time alone together." Remus added.

"Trust me," I said, glaring at the two of them. "Next time one of us visits the hospital wing, it will not be me."

"Is that a threat?" Sirius asked, rolling his eyes and looking bored.

"Only if you continue to be a jackass." I replied.

"How am I a jackass?" Sirius asked, leaning forwards and raising his eyebrows as if he honestly didn't know.

"You threw that stupid ball at my head _six times_!" I snapped. "Was that supposed to be considered accidental?"

"I was blindfolded!" Sirius retorted, looking skeptical. "Like I had any idea where I was throwing it!"

"I don't think that was such a good idea." Remus told James, but he looked amused.

I opened my mouth to yell at Remus again, but Sirius cut me off.

"I have more important things to talk about." Sirius said. "Those Death-Eaters-in-training attacked Elli for our prank."

"Like you care." I said with a roll of my eyes. "And they didn't attack me."

"Just because I hate you doesn't mean I'm going to let them attack you." Sirius snapped back.

"What do you mean they attacked you?" Remus asked, suddenly looking serious.

"They didn't attack me." I said quietly, looking away. "They just cornered me and said that if they find out I had any part of it, I'd be in trouble. And they mentioned something about the Dark Lord killing mudbloods anyways, so I better watch out."

"They said that?" Sirius asked, looking livid.

I nodded. "But don't worry about it. Like I told Sirius, I'm fully capable of taking care of myself."

"Not if ten of them come at you at once!" Remus replied, looking concerned.

"It's not me you should be worried about! They know it was you three and Peter who did it, they just though I had a part in it."

"Yes, but there's four of us, and only one of you." James said.

"They're not going to do anything to me here at school. Not with Dumbledore around." I pointed out.

"See, that's what we figured at the beginning of the year. I mean, everyone knows that Voldemort is becoming strong, and gaining more followers, but even he's not stupid enough to do anything while Dumbledore's around." James said. Remus flinched a little at the use of the name, since most people refused to use it.

"But then the other day Malfoy and them actually attacked you at school." Sirius continued. "They're getting more bold."

"So who's to say they wouldn't attack you again, but worse? Then run along to their master?" Remus finished.

"Dumbledore wouldn't let them-,"

"Dumbledore has about a thousand students to look after though, doesn't he?" Sirius asked, cutting me off. "So what happens if they decide to attack when he's not looking?"

"It's not like I'm their only target." I said quietly.

"True, but they hate muggleborns, and you got the better of Lucius last time they tried to screw around with you, they're not going to forget that." James said, equally quiet.

"So then what do you propose I do? Go home?" I asked, skeptical. "Because I won't."

"It'd be safer." Remus said, looking apologetic. "I mean, I don't _want_ you to go, Elli. But you're my friend, and what if you got hurt?"

"First of all," I said, standing up, finished with this conversation. "You're all blowing this _way_ out of proportion. It's not that big of a deal! They don't have it out for me, they were just trying to act like they were tough. Big deal. Second of all, I _hate it_ at the group home! I am not going back there unless I absolutely have to!"

And with that, I stomped off, ignoring their calls to come back. Once I got up the stairs, I could no longer hear them and they couldn't follow me. Without a word to my roommates, I crawled into bed fully dressed and pulled the covers up past my face.

Why did boys have to make such a big deal out of nothing? They were so determined to play the knight in shinning armor that they didn't realize that I wasn't a damsel in distress. I was _just fine_. This school was the safest place in the world.

It was much safer than the stupid group home.

Group home...

I sat up, my eyes wide. Oh, god. I told them! I told them about the group home.

Maybe they hadn't heard. They probably didn't. Even if they did, they probably didn't pay any attention to it.

God, I am an idiot. I'd never told _anyone_ about the group home. They all just assumed that I lived with my parents. Not even Melissa knew, and if anyone could be considered my close friend, it'd be her.

The rest of the night I tossed and turned, thinking about what I said to the Marauders, and about what they said to me.

* * *

><p><strong>Remus's Point of View<strong>

"Did you know she was in a group home?" Sirius asked a few minutes after Elli stomped upstairs.

I shook my head. She'd never mentioned it in all the years that we'd been friends. Nor had Melissa ever mentioned it.

"I always thought she lived with her parents." I said, frowning a little.

"There's obviously a reason she didn't tell you." James spoke up. "But what's really important right now is that that girl is too stubborn for her own good. She doesn't realize that Malfoy and his friends are almost as bad as real Death Eaters as of late, and that they do seem to be gunning for her."

"They don't care if they hurt her and get expelled." Sirius said, running a hand through his hair. "But she's not going to listen to us, so there's really nothing we can do."

"Yes, there is." James said, looking a little sheepish. "But you're not going to like this idea."

"As long as I don't have to spend any more time with that girl." Sirius replied, looking momentarily annoyed.

"Actually, you kind of do." James said, this time grinning at Sirius's discomfort. "I say we act as her guard, that way they don't get her alone again."

"Act as her guard." Sirius deadpanned.

"It's the only way." I agreed. "If something happened to her, and we did nothing to stop it, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself, Sirius."

"She's not going to like it." Sirius said, standing up and stretching, letting out a yawn. "She's going to hate the fact that we think she needs protecting."

"Oh, so you know Elli now?" I asked, giving him a smirk.

"Whatever." Sirius said before heading off towards the rooms.

James and I followed, giving each other knowing looks.

The next day, due to James' suggestion, I offered to walk Elli to class, determined to do it even if she said no.

"Sure." She said brightly, obviously pretending that last night hadn't happened. "I wanted to talk to you about something anyways."

"What's that?" I asked. I kept my wand in my hand, as Sirius suggested, just in case.

"It's about Melissa." She said, giving me a nervous look. "I know you're both fighting-,"

"We're not fighting. She just hates me." I told her, feeling like I had a brick in my stomach. I hadn't even been thinking about Melissa, for once, until Elli brought her up.

"She doesn't hate you." Elli replied, giving me an exasperated look. "If guys would just pay a little more attention to girls, they'd realize when a girl actually hates you, and when she's really just afraid she's going to get hurt so she puts up a wall."

"Is that what you do?" I couldn't help but ask her, and to change the subject from me and Melissa to somewhere else.

"What do you mean?" She asked, frowning.

"Well, you put up a wall with everyone, except for maybe Melissa and I. And even then, you don't tell us much, like the fact that you live in a group home." I said gently.

Elli froze, mid step. "I didn't mean to say that." She said quietly.

"Why not? Do you really think we'd judge you?" I asked her, putting a hand on her arm. "Elli, you're my friend. You don't have to hide things like that."

She bit her lip for a second, and I could have sworn her eyes filled with tears. But then the next second she smiled brightly at me and laughed.

"Don't change the subject!" She said, still smiling.

I paused, confused by her sudden change in mood.

"Melissa was hurt by your actions after you kissed her." Elli said, picking up where she stopped earlier. "But she still cares about you. A lot."

"How do you know?" I asked, hating the hopeful tone in my voice.

"Because she talks to me." Elli replied, giving me a knowing smile. "And if she didn't, she wouldn't be so upset with you."

"So what am I supposed to do?" I asked her. "I like her, but I can't... I don't want a relationship."

"Now who's putting up walls?" Elli teased, before realizing what she said. She quickly moved on before I could question her again. "I mean, why don't you want a relationship? You like her, don't you?"

"It's complicated." I said with a sigh.

"Then uncomplicate it." Elli told me. "Or at least explain to Melissa why you don't want to go out with her. The poor girl is heartbroken. I know she won't admit it, but it's obvious."

We'd reached the Defense Against the Dark Arts room, and Elli pushed through the door.

"Just talk to her. Even if she yells at you. She deserves to know why you suddenly got all cold on her." Elli said, and gave a pointed look to where Melissa sat alone, idly doodling on a piece of parchment.

Without another word, Elli walked away to find a seat. I took the seat beside Melissa, only because it was the only one left.

All through class, I considered Elli's advice. Melissa deserved to know what was going on. I couldn't keep hurting her, if what Elli said was true.

Though I almost chickened out, when class ended I stopped Melissa.

"Can we talk?" I asked her.

She narrowed her eyes. "I guess, but if I'm late to class-,"

"Don't worry, it won't take long." I assured her.

Together we walked to a secluded hallway.

"I know you're angry with me," I started, not making eye contact with Melissa.

"I'm not angry." Melissa said, surprising me. She gave a loud sigh, looking tired, but not in a lack of sleep kind of way. Just emotionally. "I was hurt, Remus. I thought... I thought you liked me. And then you kissed me, and I was sure you did. But then... the way you acted afterwards..."

The tears that welled in her blue-grey eyes made me forget all about caution, and worrying about the consequences.

"I'm a werewolf." I blurted, hoping she would realize why I pushed her away.

"What?" Melissa asked, her eyes widening.

At the expression on her face, I completely regretted telling her. Yet I couldn't take it back, so I decided to just try and explain.

"I'm a werewolf. That's why we can't be together." I said quietly. "I was bitten when I was only six years old. I didn't want to tell you because... I just... I couldn't." I said, stopping myself before saying, "Because I didn't want to scare you." because if she confirmed that I did scare her, it would break my heart.

I leaned out a hand, but Melissa backed away from me, shaking her head. "Don't." She whispered.

"Melissa," I started, but she shook her head again.

"Just don't, Remus." She said, before walking away.


	11. Injuries and In Love

**Melissa's Point of View**

I felt like screaming. I ran away from Remus, wiping furiously at my tears with the back of my hand. Werewolf. He was a werewolf.

I found a secluded hallway and sat down, wrapping my arms around my legs.

It made sense, really. He was always 'sick' once a month, and no one really knew why. And then there was all those times when I'd heard James mention a furry little problem.

Now that I knew, it was painfully obvious.

But that didn't... that didn't mean that he had to treat me the way he did!

How _dare he_ assume I'd turn my back on him because of something he couldn't control! Did he really think so little of me?

Yes, the werewolf thing was a little frightening. But... I loved Remus.

I loved him. But he refused to give us a chance. He refused.

This time I let the tears fall.

I would have been content to sit in that hallway all day, maybe even night, if a shriek hadn't pierced the air around me.

I stood up, trying to locate it. It cut off abruptly, unnaturally. I ran down the end of the hallway. Hadn't anyone else heard? That wasn't a playful shout. That was someone crying out for help, or in pain.

In the middle of a sxith floor corridor lay a body. I heard footsteps behind me, others reacting to the scream, but I paid them no attention.

"Is she dead?" I heard a girl whisper, sounding frightened.

"What happened?" I heard James ask, somewhere in the crowd that was forming. "Is that-,"

He stopped when Elli let out a low, soft moan. She moved slightly, and her face because visible. There was a deep gash there, pouring blood down the side of her face, pooling beside her head.

I finally reached her, ahead of everyone else. I grabbed her hand and squeezed.

"Elli?" I asked softly, frightened that there wouldn't be a reply. She might have moved but... I wasn't sure exactly what had happened to her.

She didn't say anything, but her hand in mind gave a feeble squeeze.

"Is she okay?" Sirius asked, and I looked up and James, Remus and Sirius had broken off from the crowd. Everyone else stayed back, looks of horror or confusion on their faces.

"Yeah, but we need to take her to Madam Pomfrey." I replied softly. "Can one of you pick her up?"

Remus bent down and scooped her up, not meeting my eyes the entire time. Elli stirred in his arms.

"Don't," She said quietly. Her voice was breathless and there was a lot of pauses between her words. "Don't bring me to Madam Pomfrey. I'll be fine."

"Are you crazy?" Sirius asked, looking bewildered. "You've lost about ten gallons of blood!"

"I told you, next time someone ends up in the hospital," She paused, catching her breath but sounding more clear with every passing word. "It's not going to be me."

James laughed, but Remus looked worried. "You've lost a lot of blood, Elli."

"Fine, fine." She said, waving her hand and suddenly smiling. She looked almost giddy. "But I feel fine, you know. Actually, I feel more than fine. Kind of light, you know? Like a cloud..." She laughed.

"Is she high?" Sirius asked.

"No, _you're_ high!" Elli shrieked, this time laughing even louder.

"What's wrong with her?" I whispered to the others, not finding the situation at all funny. Elli wouldn't act like that normally. Something had to be wrong.

"I don't-," Remus was cut off when Elli suddenly kicked free of his arms.

She landed on her feet, more than a little wobbly. She stood for a second, a satisfied smile on her face, before crumpling to the floor. Before she could hit her head, Sirius grabbed her and this time it was he who scooped her up in his arms.

"_What is wrong with you_?" He asked, peering down at her, frowning.

In reply, Elli gave a very girly giggle. "Oh, Sirius," She said, reaching up to flick a piece of his hair off his face. "Why are you always so serious?"

James started to laugh, but a quelling look from Remus, Sirius and I shut him up at once.

"Just hurry it up." I told Sirius. "She's still bleeding."

"Goodnight." Elli whispered, and promptly fell asleep.

"She is sleeping, right?" I asked, panicked.

"She's fine, I can feel her heart beating." Sirius assured me.

When we finally made it to the hospital wing, Elli was still sleeping. Madam Pomfrey came to meet us.

"Why is it that every time this girl is brought in here, she's unconscious?" She questioned.

But then she'd moved Elli, and her face became clear. "What happened?" Madam Pomfrey asked sharply.

"We don't know." I said quietly. "But she was acting weird. Giggling, and saying weird things, too."

"Well," Madam Pomfrey started, clearing the blood off Elli's face. With the flick of her wand, the wound started to close over. "this isn't too bad. Just a superficial cut. As for the weird behaviour, I'd say she suffered from a intoxing hex."

"What's that?" Remus asked.

"It makes the victim act... well, to put it bluntly, drunk. Not hard to reverse, if you know what you're doing." She said, and again waved her wand, muttering under her breath.

"Now," Madam Pomfrey said, looking suddenly strict. "You're allowed to take her back to your common room, but as soon as soon as you find out how she got in that state, I want someone to report straight to Dumbledore. Understand?"

We all nodded.

Sirius picked Elli up again. Halfway to Gryffindor tower, Elli awoke.

She yawned, pushed her hair out of her face, and then screamed and fell out of Sirius's arms.

"What are you doing?" She shouted at him. She looked around and realized that they weren't the only two people there. "What's going on?"

"You don't remember?" Remus asked gently.

"Remember what?" Elli replied, frowning and looking a little frightened.

"Who attacked you?" I questioned.

"Who attacked me." She repeated, looking even more confused and now terrified. "What do you mean? What happened?"

She looked between all of us, as if we were playing some joke on her.

"See, that's kind of the problem. No one really knows what happened." Sirius told her. I noticed that, as soon as she jumped out of his arms, he backed far away from her, as if he couldn't stand to be any closer.

"I don't... the last thing I remember is thinking how good it is that you two were finally going to try to work things out." Elli said, motioning with her hand towards Remus and I.

"This is why someone was supposed to be guarding her!" Sirius said angrily, rounding on Remus. "That was your job!"

Remus looked infinitely guilty.

"Guarding me?" Elli snapped, no longer looking like someone who had just been in need of a hospital. No one said anything. "What do you mean, guarding me?"

"Well, it's just... we were worried and-," Elli cut Remus off.

"I do not need protecting." She said menacingly and, before anyone could say anything else, she stomped off. James and Sirius both hurried after her, obviously sticking to their 'guarding' idea.

"Melissa," Remus said softly before I realized that it was only he and I now in the hallway.

Everything that had happened since our talk disappeared, and I was right back to where I was in that abandoned hallway. The tears sprang up again and I looked at him, wanting for him to apologize or _something_.

"I can't believe you'd... you'd not give us a chance, just because you're a werewolf." I said angrily.

Remus stared at me, bewildered. "You mean- you're not terrified of me?" He asked, his body frozen, completely unmoving except for his breathing.

"What kind of a person do you think I am?" I snapped.

"I just thought that-,"

"That something like that would ever make me stop loving you?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. "Because trust me, it would take a lot more than that."

"But-,"

"Stop making excuses!" I yelled, stepping towards him. "I love you. Don't you get that? I love you, I love you, I _love you_! And I am _not_ going to let you push me away anymore!"

I stepped even closer to him, our lips less than an inch away from each other. I stared up those eyes of his that couldn't seem to decide if they wanted to be brown or blue. He didn't move away, and I took that as a good sign.

"Tell me, right now, that you don't love me back. Tell me you don't want me, and I'll go. But don't you dare hind behind some... some-,"

"Furry little problem?" Lupin supplied, smiling before wrapping his arms around me. "I love you, Melissa."

He closed the small space between our lips and I responded by wrapping my arms around his neck, running my fingers through his hair and pulling him even closer to me, if that was possible.

I parted my lips a little, wanting to deepen the kiss, but I felt Remus hesitate, his hands on my waist loosened their grip and he tried to pull away.

"Don't hold back on me." I said fiercely.

And he didn't. Instead, he pushed me back up against the nearest wall, he pushed up the sweater at my waist, his hands gripping the skin there, causing me to shiver despite the heat.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, you should both be in class." Came McGonagall's voice from my left.

Remus and I jumped apart, and I felt my cheeks burn.

"Next time you want to... Just don't do that in the hallways." McGonagall said sternly. "Now go, before I add detentions too."

Torn between embarrassment and laughter, Remus and I hurried off, hand in hand.

* * *

><p><strong>So what do you think? Leave a review! :D - C<strong>


	12. Voldemort and Vapid Girls

**Sirius's Point of View**

"Stop following me!" Elli snapped, whirling around to glare at James and I.

I stiffled the urge to laugh. She was about as menacing as a puppy.

"You think I'm funny, Black?" She asked, pulling her wand out of her pocket and pointing it at me, taking a few steps in my direction.

"Little bit, yeah." I admitted, grinning. "Put that thing away, we both know you aren't going to use it."

She glared at me, but put her wand away anyways. Then she turned to James.

"You're reasonable. Why don't you take Sirius and leave me alone?" She asked, thinking that he was more likely to listen to her.

"Being your guard was James's idea." I told her.

She kept walking until, a few minutes later, she stopped dead and pointed down a random hallways.

"Oh, my god!" She shrieked, turning to James and I, her eyes wide. "There's something... something dangerous down there!"

James and I turned, confused. There was nothing there.

"I swear!" Elli said when we'd turned back to her. "Right down there! Maybe you should go check it out." She gave a convincing look of terror. "You're the big men, I don't feel safe going down there. I'll just wait here."

"Kind of overkill with the big men part, don't you think?" I asked her, rolling my eyes. "Do you really think we're that stupid?"

"Not James, no." She said, before sulking off again.

James laughed. "She really puts you in your place, doesn't she?" James joked. I glared at him. "What? I think it's good for you. You're a little egotistical, you know."

"Look who's talking!" I shot back, rolling my eyes.

"That was before I started dating Lily and she told me she wouldn't put up with it." James pointed out.

"Well, see, I, unlike you, have to reason, and no wish, to change my egotistical ways. I am perfectly happy having superficial, physical relationships with girls that could care less if I'm egotistical or not." I said, lifting my chin a little higher.

James just laughed again, until we both walked into Elli, who had suddenly stopped. We were right by Dumbeldore's office.

"Voldemort." She whispered.

"What? Elli-," I stopped suddenly when I saw him.

Voldemort was infamous for his continuing rise to power, and his hatred of muggles and muggleborns. And his slaughtering of them.

"What's he doing here?" James said softly, so not to be heard.

Voldemort was striding towards the gargoyles that blocked entrance to Dumbeldore's office. He was frightening, not just because of the stories of what he did, but just to look at.

He was tall, even taller than I was, and I was 6'1. He might have once been as good-looking as I was, but age had not done him any good. His skin looked as if it was pulled tight, and he had a rather snake like look on his face.

Much to my dismay, he spotted us and smiled.

"Sirius!" He called, as if we were good friends.

I stiffined and felt Elli, who had backed even farther into James and I, do the same.

"Your brother told me to send his greetings if I saw you." He said, giving my a cold look. His voice was higher than you would expect to come from such a large man.

I didn't say anything.

"And who are you friends? Anyone else I might know?" He asked, his eyes cutting through Elli and James.

The second he asked, I knew how to play things. I rearanged my features into a haughty mask.

"James Potter, and Alice Marchbanks." I said, using Elli's roomates name instead because I knew she was a pureblood.

"Purebloods?" Voldemort questioned, as I knew he would. He looked uninterested in the question, but his eyes flashed blood red for a second.

"Obviously." I said, smirking. "I wouldn't surround myself with any other... filth."

"I see you take after your brother." Voldemort said appraisingly. "Though he said you didn't exactly approve..."

"It's not that I don't, I just needed something to get mad about, you know. Teenage angst and all that. Just wanted a reason to upset my mother." I lied. "She and I don't exactly get on."

"Well, if you're interested in any work towards our cause after school, just mention it to your brother. I hear you're a smart and gifted young man." Voldemort told me, and though he paid me a compliment, his expression did not warm at all.

I nodded and he headed back towards the gargoyles. Without even thinking it through, I grabbed Elli's hand and pushed James ahead of me. Together the three of us hurried from the scene.

As soon as we were out of the hallway, I broke into a run, pulling Elli with me and James following right behind us.

When we reached the Fat Lady, I quickly told her "Gillyweed" and then the three of us rushed into the room.

"What was that all about?" Elli asked, looking confused. Then she looked down at our hands, which were still intwined and yanked hers out of mine, looking confused for a second, but not meeting my eyes.

"Why is he here?" James asked me, his expression making it obvious that he was feeling the same way I was. Something was definitely wrong. Dumbledore would never let him into our school.

"I have no idea, but I want to know." I said, looking around the room for a free spot to sit. By now class had finished, and the room was filled with students.

I spotted Lupin and Melissa on the couch... For a moment all thoughts of Voldemort slipped from my mind and I headed towards them.

"Finally." I said, raising my eyebrows as the two seperated a little. The still clinged to each other, but their mouths were no longer joined.

"What's wrong?" Melissa asked, noticing the look of seriousness on James' and Elli's faces.

"Voldemort." James said, and both of them let out a small gasp. "He was heading to Dumbledore's office."

"He seems to want to recruit me as a Death Eater." I said, making myself sound calm, but really I wasn't.

I'd fought my entire life to prove that I wasn't evil, like my parents, and my brother, and Voldemort himself. I'd even gotten in to Gryffindor, despite the fact that a majority of my family were Slytherin's.

But Voldemort seemed to think I was one of them too. Maybe they all saw something inside of me that I tried not to see myself. Maybe I was truly meant to be like them.

But no, I couldn't. I _wasn't_.

"Are you okay?" Elli asked, laying a hand on my arm before realizing what she did. She quickly removed it as if I burned her.

Even Elli saw it. That's why she hated me so much. She was just so _good_ and I was obviously tainted. Maybe deep down I was as dark as the colour of my last name.

"- and said that she was Alice Marchbanks instead." James said. I hadn't heard the entire converstion, but I knew he was retelling the conversation we'd had with Voldemort.

"Good thinking. Do you really think he'd attack someone here at school, right underneath Dumbledore? Literally?" Lupin asked.

"I don't know." I admitted. "But I wasn't going to risk it."

"But what's he doing here?" Melissa voiced, looking confused and worried. "You don't think-,"

"I think a lot of things, but chances are 99 percent of them aren't true." I told her. Then, with a sudden brilliant though, I pulled the Marauder's map out of my back pocket. "But we can at least see where he's _going_."

"What is that?" Elli asked, looking down at the folded piece of parchment in my hand.

"This," I said fondly. "Is how we get away with all the shit we pull."

"But I don't-,"

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." I said, tapping the front of the paper with my wand.

Elli and Melissa both frowned down at the map, but Remus and James already knew what it did, so they weren't nearly as curious.

"He's still in the office. He's just sitting there." I said, watching the spot labled Voldemort across from the one labeled Headmaster Dumbledore.

"Does he have any of his followers with him?" James asked me.

I searched the whole map, but no one other than students and teachers and faculty showed up. I shook my head.

"I guess there's nothing else to do. Unless you guys want to go listen outside Dumbeldore's door, but I really don't want to ever get that close to that man again." Elli said, shuddering slightly.

"Until he's gone, you're not leaving this common room." I told Elli.

"You're not the boss of me." She snapped, but she didn't protest. "But I might not be in any danger."

"What do you mean?" Melissa asked, confused.

"I might not be muggleborn." Elli said, looking calm, but her voice betrayed a little of the hope in her voice. "I don't know _who _my parents are. They could have been wizards, right?"

"What do you mean you don't know who your parents are?" Melissa asked, her confusion deepening, but a look of hurt on surfacing too.

"I- I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Elli said quietly, looking down. "But I... I don't live with my parents. I've never even met them. I love in a group home, with a bunch of... unwanted teenagers."

"You're not unwanted." Remus said, looking sympathetic.

"How would you know?" Elli snapped back. As soon as the words were out of her mouth she looked apologetic.

I thought I saw tears forming in her eyes, but it was gone so fast and she was smiling brightly. It was like emotional whiplash.

"I see you two have worked things out." She said, meaning Lupin and Melissa.

Before either of them could reply, Mary, a girl who I'd made out with a bit the first day back, plopped down on the couch between Elli and I, practically sitting on my lap.

"Hello, Sirius." She said, giving me a vapid smile. "I haven't seen you much lately."

The pout on her face annoyed me. It wasn't as if she actually liked _me_. She just liked the way I looked. She made that quite clear the first night back, when she'd spoken about two words to me before jumping me.

"I've been busy." I said, noting the amused looks on everyone's faces except Elli and Melissa.

Elli looked annoyed, and Melissa looked disappointed.

"I wanted to spend some time together. We never got to finish our, er, conversation the other night." She said, giving my a sly smile.

"From what I saw, there wasn't much 'talking' going on last time." Elli told Mary, giving her a look of dislike.

"I didn't know it was any of your buisness." Mary snapped back.

"I never said it was, I was just making an observation." Elli said innocently.

"Cat fight." James said between coughs.

I would have laughed if not for the fact that the supirior look on Mary's face made me really annoyed.

"I'm sorry, Elli. I wasn't under the impression that you even knew what we were doing, since you've had about no experience yourself." Mary said, mirroring Elli's innocent smile.

Elli narrowed her eyes in respone.

"Just because Elli doesn't have a reputation, like you, doesn't mean she doesn't have experience. It just means she doesn't have experience with _half _of the male population at this school." Melissa cut in, giving Mary a 'back-off' look.

"Can we talk alone?" Mary asked, standing up.

"Fine." I said grudgingly, and followed her.

I heard James mutter, "Put those claws away, girls." and stiffled the urge to laugh.

"I thought you liked me." Mary pouted when we were far enough away from everyone else.

"Look, Mary-,"

"Is it because Elli?" She asked, looking suddenly a little crazy. "You like her, don't you?"

"What?" I asked, so confused. "No, I actually really _don't_ like her."

"Prove it. Kiss me in front of her." Mary said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Mary-,"

"I get it. You like her." She said, looking smug.

In response, I pulled her to me and, looking over her head at Elli, who was watching us, I kissed her. I didn't feel anything, not a spark of emotion, but I deepened the kiss anyways.

Elli turned her head away from me, but that was good. I didn't need to think about her when kissing someone. All I wanted to focus on was the feeling of Mary's body pressed against mine, which, three weeks ago, would have been enough for me to bring her straight up to me room. But now... I continued kissing her, but the fact that it was meaningless nagged at me, and I couldn't enjoy it.

"Satisfied?" I asked, pulling away from Mary's too tight grip around my neck.

"Definitely." She said breathlessly.

"Well, I was kind of having an important conversation, so I'm going to... just... go back to that." I said , wanting to get away from her.

"Meet me later tonight." She whispered in my ear before slinking off, throwing a look over her shoulder at me.

I sat back down on the couch with my friends and Elli, but I didn't pay any attention to the conversation. I was too preoccupied with trying to figure out what had happened. What had changed? Why did I suddenly find kissing unenjoyable just because it didn't _mean _anything?

I was Sirius Black, well-known man-whore, and I couldn't even make out with an attractive, albiet slightly stupid, girl without wanting something meaningful?

God, something was wrong with me...


	13. Adventure and Admittance

**Elli's Point of View**

Sirius sat back down beside me, and I avoided his gaze completely. Not that he was even bothering to look at me. Why would he?

But why had he looked over Mary's head at me while they kissed? Shouldn't he have been paying attention to her? And why me? Why not some other random person?

And why did that stupid girl upset me so much? From the second she sat down between Sirius and I, she annoyed me. And when they kissed...

I wanted to attack her. And him too, a little.

I sat there confused, trying to figure out _why_ I'd reacted like that. I wasn't violent. I never wanted to hurt anyone. But I wanted to stand up and rip the hair off Mary's head.

When I finally did look at Sirius, he, too, wasn't paying attention to anyone else's conversations. He was sitting leaned back against the couch, his legs spred out far in front of him, his arms crossed. He was staring at the wall, frowning. I couldn't tell if he looked angry, or confused. Maybe a little of both.

The nagging feeling of wanting to ask him what was wrong bothered me. I was too aware of his presence beside me. I felt flustered.

I stood up suddenly, causing everyone to look at me, except for Sirius.

"I need-," I paused, taking a deep breath. What was _wrong_ with me? "I'm going to get some fresh air."

Sirius stood up. "I'm coming with you."

"You weren't invited!" I snapped.

Everyone else, which meant James, Remus and Melissa, looked between Sirius and I, confused.

"I'm coming, or you're not going." He said, staring down at me. I stared right back at him, but given the fact he was a head taller than me, it didn't have the same affect.

"That kind of defeats the purpose of privacy." I muttered, but when I walked out of the room, I waited for Sirius at the portrait.

We were halfway down to the main floor when Sirius stopped me, a gentle hand on my arm. I looked up, alarmed. Something had to be wrong, he never touched me unless it was necessary.

"Do you want to do something fun?" He asked, completely surprising me.

"What do you mean?" I asked, searching those grey eyes of his for some sign that he was just playing with me.

"I meant what I said. Do you want to have some fun?"

I hesitated. "What kind of fun?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to corrupt your innocent soul, I promise."

I narrowed my eyes at him. I could feel him mentally mocking me for my lack of adventure.

"Fine." I said, and his eyes widened in shock, which unnerved me. "We're not going to do something illegal, are we?"

"Not illegal per-say. Against the rules, sure. A definite possible risk of expulsion, if we were to get caught." He said, smirking. "But we won't."

"How do you know?" I asked, regretting agreeing. I could still back out. Who cares if Sirius thought ill of me because of it?

"Because," He said, pulling out the map he'd used earlier. "I have this. And we Marauders haven't been caught for anything serious in years. Petty things, sure, but nothing that could actually get us in _real _trouble."

I bit my lip, thinking. "Fine, but if we get caught I'm telling anyone who will listen that you kidnapped me."

Sirius laughed. "Like anyone would believe that."

"And why not?"

"Because, anyone in their right mind knows no girl would deny me of anything." He said carelessly, turning back in the direction we came from, but not going back up the stairs.

I followed, mostly because I was curious what he meant by fun. Eventually we stopped in front of a statue.

"This is what you mean by fun? Staring at a statue? You're even more unhinged than I thought." I said, eyeing him, confused.

"It's not a statue, it's a door of sorts." He said, tapping his map and muttering the same words he'd used last time. "Coast is clear."

"Dissendium." Sirius muttered, and, to my surprise, the witch swung open, and behind it was a low passageway. "Hurry up, before someone sees us." Sirius muttered, entering the passage.

He had to duck. I didn't.

"Where does this lead?" I asked wearily. It was dark in the tunnel. "Lumos."

The light didn't do much, and all I could see was Sirius's back.

"Honeydukes." Sirius said cheerfully.

"In _Hogsmeade_?" I asked, astonished. "How did you find this?"

"We Marauders know more about this castle than Dumbledore, I'd bet." He said, and I could hear the proud smile in his voice.

I was impressed, but I couldn't make myself to admit it to Sirius.

"How long is this going to take?" I asked about fifteen minutes later. "It's creepy in here."

"Are you afraid of the dark, Elli Mason?" Sirius mocked.

"Not of the dark, no." I said, annoyed. "Just the unknown."

A little while later, I heard a soft scuttling noise, and jumped, grabbing Sirius's arm. He laughed.

"It's just a mouse." He said, but despite his carefree tone, he tugged his arm out of mine with much force. "We're here."

He pointed to a small ladder that lead to a square outline of light. There was a latch on the trap door, and Sirius climbed the ladder and pushed it open, gazing around before climbing all the way out.

I followed, coming out in what I realized was the basement to Honeydukes. There was boxes of random assortments of candy. Sirius dug into one, pulling out a pink candy and popping it in his mouth.

"If anyone asks us what we're doing here," Sirius said, about to go up the stairs into the shop. "Just tell them we graduated last year but missed the place, so we're visiting."

"Do you do this a lot?" I questioned, following him up the stairs.

He turned around and grinned. "How do you think we managed to smuggle all that Firewhiskey into the school for our big party last year?"

"I didn't know you did that." I told him as we walked casually into the shop, which was mostly empty. "I didn't go."

"Hello, Jackson." Sirius said, waving to the man behind the counter.

"Did you nick any of my candy again?" The man asked, narrowing his eyes at Sirius.

"Of course not!" He replied, laughing. "See you in a bit."

Jackson shook his head, but was smiling.

"I thought you said to pretend we were coming here for-,"

"Not with Jackson. We decided we needed to tell the truth with him after he caught James, Remus, Peter and I sneaking into his shop. Figured we were trying to steal from him, so we had to admit the real reason. He's cool, as long as we're relatively well behaved." Sirius told me. "Plus, he's never told on us to Dumbledore."

It wasn't until we strolled into the Three Broomsticks and sat down, that I realized we were actually _getting along_. I felt calm, and I didn't want to yell at Sirius, or kick him or anything. It was odd.

Things got even weirder when Sirius ordered two butterbeers, and paid for them both.

Did he actually just buy me a drink? I thought, watching Sirius as he watched the bar, waiting for the drinks. He thrummed his long fingers on the table, a small smile playing at the edges of his lips.

When Rosemerta, the owner of the bars daughter, walked out, Sirius's smile became full.

I knew of Rosemerta, of course. She'd been in Hufflepuff two years ago. She was very attractive, and well known for that reason, and the fact that everyone knew, because of her bragging, that she was to inherit this bar when her father retired.

"Sirius." She said, swooping down to kiss him on the cheek.

"Rose." He said, giving her a sly grin. "Sit down, have a drink."

She laughed. It was a tinkling sound. "I'm working."

"So you're telling me I ordered you this drink for nothing?" Sirius asked. "But now what am I going to do with it?"

"Looks like you already have company." Rosemerta said, putting her hands on her hips and tossing her hair. But she looked amused.

"Who, Elli?" He asked, as if just remembering I was with him. "Come on." Sirius said, leaning forwards on his chair. I had the urge to kick it, and make him fall over.

Rosemerta laughed in return. She turned to me. "Be careful with this one. He likes to play, but, if I remember correctly, only he comes out of it winning."

"I don't play." Sirius said, looking annoyed now. "It's just fun. Everyone knows that."

"Maybe you do, honey. But try telling that to all those poor girls." Rosemerta said, giving Sirius a look that made me think that what was between them wasn't sexual. It looked more like a big sister scolding a younger brother.

Sirius rolled his eyes but didn't say anything else. Instead he sipped his butterbeer, while Rosemerta slid the other one over to me.

She slunk away, and Sirius didn't even watch her impressive backside as she did so. When she was gone, I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Aren't you going to drink that?" He asked after a few minutes.

"No." I said stubburnly. "Why did you invite me to come with you?"

He paused for a minute, his eyebrows furrowing. "I don't know. I just do things and usually don't really think about why." He said, shrugging. "I'm impulsive."

"Do you ever think about the fact that your actions affect other people?" I asked, angry.

I wasn't jealous. I _wasn't_. But why would he bring me here, just to flirt with another girl and completely ignore me?

I stood up, fed up with his confusing games. Rosemerta was right, no one ever won but him. I heard Sirius's chair scrape behind him, but I didn't slow down to wait for him. He still caught up with me, though.

"Everyone's probably wondering where we are." I told him as we strode around the small little village. I was still angry at him, and my voice was a little sharp.

"They'll probably think we killed each other." Sirius joked.

"It could still happen." I said darkly.

We passed the Hogshead, a small, dingy bar. I'd never went in there. Most Hogwarts students didn't. It was a dive, with a tendency to serve dodgy people.

As we walked by, a group of men exited the place. They all wore dark cloaks that covered their heads, and, weirdly enough, masks. I watched them closely as we walked by, but the second Sirius spotted them, he hurried along a little faster.

But one of the larger of them broke off and cut off our path.

"Shouldn't you kiddies be at school?" He asked. His voice had a muffled sort of quality, blocked by the mask.

"Graduated last year." Sirius said curtly, grabbing my my arm and pulling my forwards, but the man didn't move.

I don't know how I knew, but I could just tell he was smirking under his mask.

"What are your names?"

"Sirus Black and Al-,"`

"Elli Mason." I finished for Sirius, giving him a confused look.

"Mason, eh?" One of the man's friends asked, also stepping forwards.

I nodded, resisting the urge to back away. The mans voice was frightening.

"That's not a pureblood name, is it? You a mudblood, girl?" Another one, the shortest of the group, spat.

This time I did back up, right into Sirius, who's grip on my arm was becoming painful.

"We're going." Sirius said, turning around to go back the way we came.

Again, our path was blocked.

"I asked you a question." The short one said.

"What does it matter?" I asked, my voice not as firm as I'd have liked. I wanted to sound brave, unafraid, but there was a lot more of them than us.

I watched Sirius out of the corner of my eye as he pulled his wand out of his pocket.

"If you weren't a piece of filth your little boyfriend there wouldn't look so scared, would he?" The man questioned.

I looked at Sirius again, and he froze.

"Can we just go?" I said softly.

They laughed. "Do you even know what we are?" One of them asked.

I shook my head, but a feeling of dread coursed through me.

"Death Eaters. And do you know what we do, pretty thing?" Another asked.

"We like the clean up the world of trash, like your mudblood self." Another finished.

One raised his wand while another laughed. I saw a flash of light, and I squeezed my eyes shut, awaiting the pain or what ever was coming, but instead I felt myself spinning, a feeling of weight bearing down on me.

When I opened my eyes, Sirius, still holding tightly onto my arm, and I were standing outside a small house on a country side. I could see lights from a large city, perhaps London, not too far away.

"Thank you." I said to Sirius, a little breathless. "I'm sorry. I'm such an idiot. I didn't realize..."

"I wouldn't expect you to. The only reason I did is because my brother-," He cut himself off. "Anyways, I guess we know why none of them were in the castle with their master. They were waiting at Hogsmeade."

"What are we going to do?" I asked nervously. "The only way back to school is through there, and they'll know it. They'll be waiting."

"We'll just have to wait it out here for a bit. If I had an owl, I'd send one to Dumbeldore, but I don't.

"Where is here?" I asked, eying the small house.

It was cute, but needed some work. It didn't look like anyone was home. It was only one floor, and there was a large window in the front which I could see the kitchen through. The house itself was white, but all the shutters on the window were blue.

"This," Sirius said, pushing open the front door. "Is my house."

I followed Sirius inside, in desperate need of a drink or something. The inside wasn't very big. There was a short hallway, in which ended in the livingroom. There was a kitchen off the hallway, and another room that had a large, comfy looking bed on it.

"Bathroom's through there." Sirius said, motioning to said bedroom.

I nodded, following Sirius to the kitchen. He grabbed two pop bottles out of the fridge.

The fridge was empty, except for things like ketchup and other nonperishable. The kitchen only had one small counter, and a few equally small cupboards. There was a kitchen table that looked a few years old, and mismatched chairs. Over all, it definitely looked like the kind of place a boy would live alone.

Sirius led me to the living room. It held a small TV, a bookcase that, much to my astonishment, was filled with books. There was a low, plush couch and a small armchair.

"It's cute." I said honestly.

Sirius shrugged. "I don't care what it looks like, I just care that it's my own."

"This is impressive. I didn't... I didn't know you liked books." I said, walking over to the bookcase and reading the titles. I felt a pang of jealousy.

"They came with the house." Sirius said flippantly. "I'm sure you've got way more."

"I don't, actually. I've got exactly six books." I said, turning around and crossing my arms around myself.

I was cold. The house was nice, but the floor was all tile, and it didn't feel like the heat was on. I was freezing.

"If you like reading so much, why don't you have more?" Sirius questioned.

He was louging on the couch, a remote in his hand, flipping through channels on the muted television.

This time I was the one who shrugged. "I've never had money of my own. Even if I got a job, all my money would have to be given to the group home. All the books I own I got when I was ten from the Corwells. Except for the one you caught me reading on the train." I blushed a little. "That one's actually a library book..."

"You stole a library book?" Sirius asked, looking shocked. I felt thankful that he didn't ask who the Corwells were. I wouldn't have answered if he had.

"I like to think of it as borrowing long term. I intend to return it eventually." I said sheepishly. "It's just... the Hogwarts library might be full of books, but not a single one of those books are for something I would read for fun."

Sirius and I were both quiet for a few minutes, and I looked through his collection of books.

"How long do you think we have to stay here?" I asked eventually.

"A couple hours." Sirius told me. "Maybe the night."

I gaped at him. "But people are going to worry, and -,"

"Elli, calm down. We're safe, alive, and we have somewhere to stay. Just relax."

"Easy for you to say." I snapped. "You never worry about anything!"

"What do you have to worry about?" Sirius snapped back. "Because from what I can tell, the only person you're actually close with is yourself!"

"At least that way I don't get hurt." I said, my voice low but full of anger.

"Ha!" Sirius barked. "Like anyone could hurt that heart made of ice."

"Is that really what you think?" I asked, not angry anymore. I just felt tired.

"It's what I know." Sirius said, clearly still mad. "People call me heartless, but I know that's not true. I love my friends more than anything. Who do you love, Elli?"

I didn't say anything. He was right, of course.

"But people care about you, and you still block them out!" Sirius said, standing up, his face getting more heated. "Like Melissa, and Lupin. They don't know anything about you, do they? Does anyone? Because the only personal piece of information they know about you, you told them _by accident_."

Sirius stepped closer to me and I stepped back, not wanting him to see the tears in my eyes.

"I'm a little closed off." I said quietly.

"No, you're frigid." He said, taking another step closer to me.

"I don't want to get hurt." My voice was so soft I barely heard it.

"But you don't care if what you do hurt people who care about you." Sirius said, his voice rough.

"Look who's talking!" I said, my voice louder this time. "What about all those girls you screw with?"

Sirius laughed, but it was a cruel sound. "That's not the same. Melissa and Lupin like _you_. Not what you look like. They care about _you_. Those girls don't actually care about me. They don't even know me."

"Good thing for you, or they'd know how much of a jackass you are." I said, now I stepped towards him. "Because I do care about Melissa. And Remus. Okay? Are you happy? I care! I don't _want _to. Don't you get that everyone you care about is going to break you eventually? _Everyone_ will leave you one day, Sirius. Maybe when that happens to you, you'll understand why I am the way I am."

"I'll never understand, Elli. So what if people can hurt you? Not _everyone_ is going to. And that doesn't mean that you shouldn't care about them anyways." Sirius replied, his eyes looking like burnt out coals. "Because if continue pushing people away, you're going to live a horribly lonely life."

"If you truly think that, why don't you ever have a serious relationship?" I asked him. "Because you do the same thing as I do. Except I push everyone away, not just the oposite sex."

Instead of answering, Sirius shot me a dirty look and went back to the couch. I sat on the small armchair, pulling my legs up to my chest.

I wasn't frigid. I was just.. guarded.

We sat there with only the sound of the television to accompany us. Sirius still looked annoyed, but I couldn't bring myself to match his anger.

"Do you want to know why I'm in a group home?" I asked Sirius about half an hour later.

I don't know why I said it, and I wanted to take it back. But I also wanted to just get it off my chest. Maybe to show Sirius how I got to be the way I am.

Sirius clicked the mute button and turned to me, still glaring. I looked away from him and stared at the television.

"When I was six, I lived in this orphanage. I'd been there ever since I could remember. No one even told me how I got there, or why my parents didn't want me. And I didn't want to ask. I can remember the day the Corwells came, because they were one of the nicest families that ever came to visit the orphanage."

I closed my eyes, remembering everything so clearly, despite how young I was. All of us kids had been told to play outside while the families came to talk to some of us. I'd been wearing a light blue ribbon in my hair, my tattered clothes changed for the nicer dress clothes we were forced to wear on visitation days.

I smiled.

"They weren't very old. Maybe in their late twenties, early thirties. Mr. Corwell wasn't particularly handsome, but he had a kind face. Mrs. Corwell was beautiful, though. I remember thinking that they looked so in love, and wishing that one day I had someone like they had each other."

"They didn't talk to any of the other kids. I remember Mrs. Corwell grabbing her husbands hand, and she dragged him away from our supervisor towards me. She asked me what my name was, and I told her. She smiled and said that she always pictured having a daughter as pretty as me."

I opened my eyes and seen Sirius watching me intently, waiting for me to continue.

"She asked me a bunch of questions, about when I got in the orphanage and stuff. I told her I didn't remember. When they left, I was sad. I thought that they'd wanted to take me home. I'd given up that hope of them wanting me over the next week when Mrs. Tempworth, the lady who runs the orphanage, brought me downstairs, telling me she had a surprise for me. And they were standing there, smiling at me."

"I cried, I was so happy. They took me home not long after, and I had my own room any everything. They already bought clothes for me, and even a stuffed bear."

Tears formed in my eyes, but I wiped them away. "They treated me like their own daughter for years. I called them mom and dad, and they always introduced me as their daughter. But then I got my letter for Hogwarts."

I heard the anger in my own voice. I didn't want to be bitter, but it all hurt so much.

"I didn't even see it coming, but when I returned from school our first year, they weren't there. The man who owns the group home was. He said the Corwells had arranged for me to stay at his home, instead. I was confused and scared, but I had no choice. I never saw the Corwells again." I finished.

The tears streamed freely down my face. I'd never told anyone that before. I tried not to remind myself of it.

"Elli," Sirius said softly, but I smiled despite the tears.

"Don't bother, Sirius. I wasn't telling you that because I wanted your sympathy. I was telling you so that maybe you can see why I am the way I am." I said, and watched as Sirius, who was about to say something else, closed his mouth.

I stood up and walked over to the bookcase, grabbing one off the shelf. "Can I read this?" I asked.

"You can have it." Sirius said, not meeting my eyes.

I sat on the chair and read for so long that my eyes burned. I didn't know what time it was, but I was tired. I looked at Sirius and he was rubbing his face, looking as tired as I felt.

Sirius noticed me watching. "Should we stay here for the night, or do you want to risk going back?"

"I don't care, I'm just tired." I said, and to prove my point, I yawned.

"Then we might as well just stay here." Sirius said, standing up.

He looked awkward all of a sudden.

"What's wrong?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.

"It's just... I only have one bed. One of us could sleep on the couch but... there's only one blanket. And it's cold." Sirius told me.

I would have laughed if I hadn't been uncomfortable. From what I knew about Sirius, usually he would have been confident, suggesting something sexual. But he didn't.

Then I realized that obviously he didn't find me worthy of him, which is why he was so awkward about it.

"Then what are we going to do?" I asked, narrowing my eyes a little in annoyance.

"What do you want to do?" Sirius asked.

I sighed, not enough fight left in my to argue. "I don't care, I just want to sleep."

"So we're sharing the bed?" Sirius confirmed, still looking uncomfortable.

"Not if it bothers you that much." I snapped.

"I didn't mean-,"

"Just make up your mind." I told him.

"Fine, let's go to bed." He said, and walked to his bedroom.

I followed, but the second I stood beside the bed, about to get into it, I felt extremely awkward. I'd never shared a bed with anyone, much less a boy. An _attractive_ boy. No matter how I felt about him, I couldn't ignore the fact that he was going to be _right there_.

"Are you getting in or would you rather sleep on the couch?" Sirius asked, pulling back the covers, about to turn off the bedside light.

I crawled into the bed and it looked just as comfortable as I thought it'd be. I could feel Sirius's body heat beside me as he laid down too. I ignored the jumble of emotions inside me and made myself relax. It was hard. There wasn't much room, and when ever I moved, I bumped into him.

"Will you stop fidgeting?" Sirius snapped after a while.

"Sorry." I said, whispering. "I'm trying to get comfortable but there's not much room."

"I'm not going to bite you." Sirius said, and I could just imagine him rolling his eyes.

"Are you sure?" I asked, smirking even though he couldn't see it. "Because I've heard stories that make me think otherwise."

"Only good things, I hope." Sirius said, sounding cocky.

"You are unbelievable." I said, rolling on my side, away from him.

"In bed, you mean." Sirius corrected.

I couldn't help myself, I laughed. "Just go to sleep."

"Easy for you to say, you're not sleeping in bed with someone who won't stop _rolling_."

"I am going to kill you in about five seconds if you don't _shut up_." I said fiercely.

After that, Sirius was silent. I staid on my side, making sure not to move. Before long, I heard Sirius's breathing slow down and become louder. I knew he'd fallen asleep. I laid there and let the sound of of wash over me.

Before long, I was asleep.

Halfway through the night, Sirius woke me up. He was still asleep, but he'd rolled over and he bumped into me. The second he touched me, he bolted up right, gripping at the blankets, panting.

I rolled over, confused. "Are you okay?" I asked him, resisting the urge to put a hand on his arm and tell him everything was okay.

"Elli?" He asked, sounding confused. The dark outline of his body went from rigid to calm. "Sorry, must have been have been dreaming."

I didn't know what to say, and Sirius obviously didn't want me to anyways. He rolled back onto his side, away from me, and fell asleep again.

I laid awake for a little bit, wondering what on earth had frightened him so much.


	14. Wondering and Werewolves

**Sirius's Point of View**

I awoke a little confused. I nearly jumped when I felt someone pressed against me. I looked over to see Elli, her body curled up against mine. Everything that happened yesterday flashed back to me.

I jumped out of bed quickly, making Elli stir and eventually awaken. She looked around for a few seconds, looking confused and scared, but when she spotted me recognition flashed in her eyes and she wipped a hand across her face.

Twenty minutes later, without talking to each other anymore than necessary, Elli and I disaperated back to Hogsmeade, right in front of Honeydukes. We both said hellos to the owner but hurried off to the tunnel without staying to chat.

We didn't speak the entire time, and when we exited from the tunnel, Elli walked ahead of me. This was for the better.

Last night we'd shared something personal, and I didn't like it. I liked knowing where I stood with Elli, which was borderline hatred. But after last night, I wasn't quite sure we both still felt the same.

No, of course we did. If there was one thing I was sure of about Elli Mason, it was that she hated me.

And I honestly couldn't say I felt any different, really.

For the next three weeks, Elli and I studiously ignored each other. The only time we were actually in the same room for longer than five minutes other than class was during Quidditch practice. The first game of the year, against Slytherin, was coming up.

Elli and I both opted to be polite to each other during practices, but other than that we never spoke.

If I came into a room and Elli was already there, I would avoid her, even if she was spending time with Lupin and Melissa. I knew she did the same. I'd see her enter a room, spot me, and turn on the spot and head in another direction.

I found myself spending a lot more time with Mary. I'm sure she felt special; this was the most attention I ever paid to a single girl, other than perhaps Lily and Melissa, in my life. Yet when ever she asked me if we were in a relationship I was quick to tell her that we were not. I didn't date. I had fun. That was it.

If I _were_ to date, it would not be with a girl like Mary who, from what I could tell, wasn't that bright and couldn't care less about what kind of person I was. Not that it mattered, really. I didn't care much about what kind of person she was, either.

Slowly, the date of the upcoming Quidditch game arrived. I walked to the pitch with Mary, since Elli, who was in the middle of a deep conversation with Melissa, looking nervous, was with Lupin.

Lupin questioned me, at first, about my random absences. After the third or fourth time of me insisting it was because I'd rather be with Mary, he let it go.

"I'll be watching you from the stands." Mary said as I came to the door of the changing room. She leaned forwards, expecting a kiss. I obliged, only because I thought she might flip out if I didn't. She was very dramatic. "Good luck!"

Since both the teams change rooms were beside each other, a few Slytherins walked passed me. Before they entered, Lucius, the team captain, stopped to chat. His friends lingered behind him.

"You know what I just love about Quidditch games?" He asked me.

I was annoyed and debated stunning them all and going into my change room, but thought the better of it. Too many witnesses.

"What is that, Lucius?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

He leaned closer. "When you're that high up, it's hard to tell if someone falls off their broom because they're just a bad flier, or if it's because someone deliberately made it happen." He said, and his friends smirked. "Maybe your little girlfriend will just - I don't know- fall off her broom during her first game? No one would be that surprised, really."

With one last grin, Lucius slipped into his changing room.

When I entered the our change room, mostly everyone was dressed. I hurried to do the same, pulling on my red and gold robes.

James gave an inspirational speech, but I ignored it. As soon as James told everyone to get out on the pitch, I grabbed the arm of Elli's robes.

"What do you want?" She hissed at me.

I almost jumped back at the vehemence in her voice.

"Look, Malfoy said something about knocking you off your broom in the middle of the game. I don't think you should play." I told her quickly.

"Are you kidding me?" She asked, narrowing her blue eyes. "I worked hard to play in this game."

"I know that." I said, losing my patience. "But he said-,"

"I don't care what he said." She said, pushing past me. "He's just messing with you. They're not actually going to attack me in the middle of a field with the whole school watching."

There was nothing I could do to change her mind, I could see that. So instead I just followed her out of the room and promised myself that I would keep an eye on her, just in case.

But just like she said, nothing happened. Elli and I worked together, and we both even laughed together when she managed to cause a Slytherin beater to go spinning through the air, almost into the stands.

Our team was winning, of course. 100 to 20. I was simultaneously watching Elli and our teams Seeker, Jordan Mclaggen, while playing my part in hitting bludgers at the other team. I saw McLaggen dive for something, must have been the snitch, when I spotted Lucius, high in the air, maybe too high for anyone to see, raise his wand.

"Elli!" I shouted, trying to fly towards her.

Before I could tell if Lucius was actually going to attack her or not, something hit me, hard, on the back of the head and I lost all consciousness.

I awoke hours later in the infirmary with my first ever serious Quidditch injury. My head ached, and I felt tired, but when I noticed all the people around me, I quickly sat up.

"What happened?" I asked James, knowing he would understand my question.

He grinned. "We won. McLaggen caught the snitch right after you fell."

"Good." I said, happy. I noticed Remus, Mary, Melissa and Peter around me as well. Then a sudden thought came to me. "Is Elli-,"

"I'm fine." She said, and I realized that Mary had been blocking her from view, since Elli had to elbow her out of the way for me to see her. "That bludger was coming right for me, but instead it hit you."

She looked apologetic, but also uncomfortable, probably because of the looks Mary was giving her.

"What are you even doing here?" Mary asked her.

"I came to say thank you, and that I was sorry he was hurt." Elli replied, looking irritated.

"Like you care what happens to him. You two hate each other. If any girl should be here, it's me. _I'm_ his girlfriend." Mary said pompously.

"Actually, you're not." I said to her, but she ignored me.

"You're right." Elli said, ignoring me and smiling at Mary. "I don't care what happens to him."

She exited the room without a word to anyone else.

"We're not dating." I said firmly to Mary.

Melissa was glaring at Mary, James and Peter looked amused, and Lupin looked uncomfortable.

"I know you don't like labels." Mary said, rolling her eyes and brushing a piece of hair off my face.

"No, I don't like _relationships_." I corrected, annoyed.

I expected Mary to look put out, but she just looked amused. "Don't worry, baby." She said, smiling. "I know what we have is real, you're just afraid of commitment."

"Part of that's right." I muttered. "I'm tired, can I just go to sleep?"

I really didn't want to deal with Mary right now. I realized that I probably hadn't been fair to the poor girl, spending all this time with her to avoid other people. I knew she'd expect something to come of it, but I honestly didn't want anything more than a plainly physical relationship with Mary.

"Sure." She said, giving me a quick kiss and hurrying off.

"That girl is crazy." James said, watching her go.

"Elli was really upset." Melissa told me, ignoring James.

"Sure she was." I muttered.

Melissa shook her head. "She was in tears, Sirius. She kept saying it was all her fault. If she hadn't played, you wouldn't have been watching out for her and you never would have gotten hurt."

I looked up into Melissa's eyes, surprised. I tried to tell if she was lying, but she looked dead serious.

"What does she mean by that, anyways?" Remus asked.

I shook my head. "Lucius said they were going to pull something on Elli. Now that I think about it, I think it's only because they new I'd watch out for her, and therefore be distracted." I said, angry. "It worked. I never would have missed that bludger coming at me if I hadn't been too busy making sure she was okay. At least we still won"

"Why would you care, anyways?" Melissa asked. She had a peculiar expression on her face. "I thought you two hated each other."

"We do-,"

"Because from where I'm standing, you both seem to get pretty upset when the other gets hurt." Melissa said, cutting me off. She turned to Lupin. "I'm going to go talk to Elli. I hope you feel better, Sirius." She added.

"Peter, can you get Madam Pomfrey for me?" I asked. I didn't feel too bad, I figured I'd be okay to leave.

She came out, inspected me, and cautioned me not to do anything that would require much effort for about a week. I agreed and she released me.

When we returned to the Gryffindor common room, almost all of the Gryffindors were there. When we entered, they all cheered and clapped James, Lupin and I on the back. I saw the other members of the team, including Elli, getting congratulated too.

"Are we partying tonight?" A sixth year asked us.

I looked at James. "Do we have any Firewhiskey?"

"No, but we could get some." He replied, grinning. Nothing was as good a pick-me-up as a good Marauder's party.

Two hours later, things were in full swing. Someone else had taken care of music, and a fast beat played through out the room. Gryffindors knew how to party, and the scene in front of me proved that.

Lupin came up to me, smiling. He looked a little drunk. "Do you think Madam Pomfrey would be happy if she knew you were getting drunk?" He asked.

"I'm not." I said, completely honest. I had one drink, and that barely got me buzzed. I wasn't anywhere near drunk and I didn't plan on getting there.

Melissa came over and twined her hands through Lupin's. She looked as sober as I was.

"Have you spoken to Elli?" She asked me.

"About what?" I questioned, confused. At the mention of her name, I couldn't help but look for Elli in the crowd.

She shrugged. "It just seems like the two of you have a lot of unresolved issues."

"Why don't you two just... just... you know, get it over with already." Lupin supplied.

"Just because everyone else wants to be tied down in a relationship," I said, my eyes narrowing. "Doesn't mean I want to be. And even if I did, it sure as hell wouldn't be with _Elli_."

"Like I'd give you the time of day!" The girl in question said, coming up beside me. Her cheeks were red, and her eyes glossy. There was a drink in her hand.

I raised my eyebrows. "I didn't think you were the type to get completely wasted." I told her, torn between amusement and annoyance.

"Oh, I forgot!" I she said loudly, an exaggerated look of shock on her face. "I'm supposed to be uptight, right Sirius? Wasn't that your exact wording? 'You're so uptight'?"

I sighed. She went to take another sip of her drink. Without even thinking it through, I reached out and encircled her wrist with my hand.

"Are you sure you should have anymore of that?" I asked, a little worried. She already seemed far enough along.

"I'm just loosening up, Sirius!" She said, tugging her arm out of my grip. She downed the rest of her cup in one sip. "Happy?"

"What ever, Elli. Do what you want, I honestly couldn't care less." I said, turning away from her.

She pushed past me, turning before she went. Her face was a mixture of emotions; she looked simultaneously angry, hurt, and annoyed.

"I know." She said softly.

"What the hell does she want from me?" I mumbled to myself, but then I realized that Melissa and Lupin were still standing there.

"I think if you two would just try to get along, you'd find you actually like each other." Melissa said quietly.

In shook my head. "We like hating each other, I think."

"And I think you're both just afraid of what would happen if you took a second to stop hating each other and actually had a real conversation." Lupin said, watching Elli as she poured herself another glass of firewhiskey mixed with something.

I followed his gaze and watched as she smiled at Jordan McLaggen as he helped her pour her glass. He said something that must have been funny, because that soft laugh of hers drifted over to us.

Lupin was right. We'd done just that. We'd stopped yelling, and Elli told me something she hadn't confided in anyone else. But that wasn't a _good_ thing. I wasn't kidding when I said I thought we liked hating each other. In life you have friends, enemies, people you despise, people you love. When you crossed those lines, things got complicated.

I liked where Elli and I stood, and I didn't want things to change. Maybe all the fighting was tiresome. Maybe if we tried we could actually be friends.

Hell would freeze over before either Elli or I actually let that happen, though.

I was just about to go sit down somewhere when suddenly Lupin's hand grabbed my arm, hard. I looked up, confused, to see a look of panic in his eyes. There was no trace of the carefree, drunk Remus that had been there just moments ago.

"It's happening. I forgot!" He said, looking around wildly. "I was too busy thinking about the game, and other things, and I forgot!"

Instantly, I looked out the window in the common room. The moon hung, easily visible, completely full and bright.

"Don't worry, we'll get James and-,"

"I can't wait! I've got-," He stopped, staring at Melissa, who looked concerned. She didn't look scared, though. I stared at her for a second, confused. "Don't leave the castle." He told her.

Melissa noticed me looking at her. "He told me." She said quietly. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No, James and Peter and I already have something worked out. Just stay inside." I said firmly.

"I'll meet you guys there. I can't wait." Remus said and, without another word, he disappeared from sight.

I shook my head. "Just stay inside." I told Melissa again, and quickly went to find James.

I grabbed his arm and pulled him away from who ever he was talking to. "We've got to go." I said in a hushed tone.

"What is it, Padfoot?" James asked. He looked at my face and instantly became worried. I knew he understood what was wrong. "We all forgot. We _never_ forget!"

"I know, we've got to get going. Where's Peter?" I asked, searching the room.

James shook his head. "I have no idea, but we've got no time to look for him. Where's Moony?"

"He said he'd meet us-,"

"You let him go off on his own?" James asked, looking horrified. "What if he changes before getting to the tree?"

"I didn't think that far ahead." I snapped, hurrying, with James as my side, to the portrait and out into the hall.

"We've got to find him before that happens. Or at least hope that he gets there..." James looked almost as panicked as Remus had.

A werewolf lose on the school grounds, especially on a night when so many of the Gryffindors were intoxicated and likely to go outside to have fun, would be disastrous.

* * *

><p><strong>Elli's Point of View<strong>

I learned that I didn't like alcohol the hard way. Since it was my first time drinking, I didn't exactly know how much one needed to drink to become drunk. I didn't realize that it took a little bit for the alcohol to actually sink in, and kept drinking, wondering when something would happen.

Before long, the room around me was spinning and I felt a little nauseous. Who would want to feel like this?

I'd spoken to Sirius earlier, but all he'd done is annoy me, as usual, and shout that he didn't care at me. Well, I already knew that. And I didn't care either.

But I didn't want to think about that, or the fact that his words had actually stung. All I wanted to do was go sit outside. I knew it would be cool out there, much better than the warmth of the common room, which made me feel even more sick.

I walked away from McLaggen, who was talking about something that I wasn't listening to, and slipped through the portrait. I stumbled a bit on the way outside and realized that it probably wasn't the best idea to go wondering the school while drunk.

Eventually I made it to the doors, surprisingly unseen. The cool air whipped at my face, cooling me down already.

I slowly walked the grounds, looking for somewhere to sit. I could see a large rock, just inside the Forbidden Forest. It wasn't far in, if I could see it from here, in the dark. But when I entered the Forest, the rock seemed a lot farther away. I kept stepping towards it, but the ground seemed to be moving underneath me, and I soon found myself lost.

I looked around, hoping that I could see the castle from here, or perhaps Hagrid's, the ground keepers, house. All I could see, though, was trees. Tall, thick, numerous trees.

God I was an _idiot_. I would never drink again! What kind of person went wondering into the forest, alone, at night? Let alone while intoxicated!

I felt a little panicked. What if I couldn't find my way out? Who knew what kind of creatures lived in here? Obviously some were dangerous, or else we'd be allowed in here. But we were _forbidden_ to enter the forest at all. Especially at night.

I heard a branch snap to my left and, without another thought, took off running. It wasn't until I stopped, panting and clutching my side, that I realized I'd probably just gotten myself even more lost.

I pulled my wand out of my pocket. "Lumos." I said quietly. The light that sprung from the tip did nothing other than alluminate a few paces in every direction. I couldn't see more than a few feet away. What good would that do?

I didn't know if I should try to find a way out, or stay where I was until day came, in case I got even more lost. I was just about to sit down and camp out for the night on a soft spot of underbrush when I heard it.

The distinctive howl of a werewolf. I don't know how I knew, but I could just tell. It was too human sounding to be a normal wolf. I tried to spot the moon in the sky, but I couldn't.

I quickly put out the light in my wand. What if it brought it towards me? I wrapped my arms around my legs and sat there, more scared than I'd ever been in my entire life.

**Sirius's Point of View**

"No one has been here recently." James said, coming out from under the large willow tree, who's branches swung out dangerously usually. Right now they were still, but in a few moments they would whip around again.

"Shit." I muttered. "You don't think-,"

My words were cut off by a loud howl. James and I exchanged a worried, slightly panicked look.

"I do think." James said, before turning in the direction of the sound. "The forest."

I nodded. "We'll never find him in there. We won't even be able to see two feet in front of our faces, not to mention the fact that he'd probably _eat us_."

James grinned. "Like that's ever been a problem before." He said and, right before my eyes he transformed into a large stag.

"Show off." I muttered. It wasn't surprising to me at all, considering the fact that all of us Marauders could change into some kind of animal, except of Remus. But he was a werewolf; that was enough transforming for him.

I followed suit, my body turning into a large black dog. The darkness outside was no longer a problem. Neither was navigating Remus's location. If I lifted my muzzle, I could smell him.

Together, James and I headed off towards the forest. When an ear splitting scream shattered the silence around us, we no longer walked.

Without needing to communicate, James and I bolted for the forest.

**Elli's Point of View**

My own scream resonated around me, bouncing off the trees. I didn't pause to wonder if the glowing yellow eyes were still following me. Instead, I kept running, not stopping even when I was gasping for breath and my sides hurt.

There had to be an opening somewhere! The forest had to end eventually, didn't it?

Finally, after what felt like hours later, I stumbled into an small clearing. The moon, which I now noted was full, hung low in the dark sky.

I could hardly stand. Slowly, I walked towards the small stream that ran through the clearing. It was only two feet across but stretch endlessly on either side. I kneeled in the mud at its banks. I didn't care if I ruined my clothes anymore.

They were already torn from branches, my knees bloodied and torn when I slipped on a hard rock. Now, as the mud dug into those cuts, I inhaled a sharp breath but barely noticed it for the adreneline that coarsed through my veins.

I scooped up a bit of water and splashed it on my face hoping that would help to calm me down. From the moment I heard the howl, I knew I was in trouble.

My eyes caught a movement to my left. Another pair of eyes reflected back at me. I whimpered. It was a pitiful sound and I hadn't meant to make it.

I stood up, wondering if I could run, but the thing leaped, it's paws skidding in the mud in front of me a bit. I would have screamed again, but I didn't have enough breath in my lungs to do so.

I pulled out my wand, ready to try and Stupify it, but then I realized something was off. This didn't look anything like the werewolf pictures I'd seen. And the eyes weren't yellow, but a deep, almost blackish grey.

It was a dog.

It was larger than any normal dog, that was for certain, but it was unmistakeably a dog. It had a shiny, well groomed coat of dark brown hair that was almost black. I stepped back from it.

Maybe it wasn't a werewolf, but I knew enough to know that you don't just approach a random dog in the woods. But I couldn't make myself harm it. Something seemed wrong about attacking a wild animal that wasn't attacking me.

Slowly, the dog walked towards me. It moved unnaturally, almost as if it was aware that it scared me. He lowered his head, and stood still when it was a few feet from me. His front paws were bent a little, almost as if it were bowing to me.

It was the weirdest thing I'd ever seen a dog do.

After a moment, it lifted its head again. Somewhere in the distance, the werewolf howled again. I looked in the direction of it, knowing that my horror was showing plainly on my face.

The dog also turned its head in the direction of the sound, then turned back to me and ran at me. I backed up but slipped in the mud. The dog barked. I started crawling backwards, the palms of my hands now covered in mud as well as my own blood. The dog bit me, it's teeth scraping the skin of my arm. But instead of digging them in farther, it released its grip until it only held my robes.

It tugged, as if trying to pull me. I stood up and ripped my robes out of its mouth and ran, this time my feet only hitting solid ground.

The dog chased after me, and though it was fast, always catching up to me, it never bit at me. Instead, every time I looked back, it barked again, as if urging me on. When ever I tried to turn, it leaped and blocked my path.

A few minutes later I realized it was _herding_ me. Not long after that, I could see the castle. I hurried and almost stepped out of the trees when it leapt in my path.

It was horrible. Even though it was definitely animal-like, it was still recognizable as once being human. It's limbs were elongated, as was its face. Though it had landed on all fours, it stood up now, the way a human would, and tipped its head back, the terrible howling I heard earlier nearly deafening me.

Its feet dug into the ground, prepared to spring. I was still struggling to pull my wand, which I had put away when I realized the dog was actually _helping_ me, out of my pocket when it leaped towards me.

I prepared myself for it to hit me, but it didn't. Instead it met the large dog while still in the air. Snarling, the two hit the ground. For some reason, I couldn't make myself run. What if the dog was killed?

It had tried to save me more than once tonight. If it died, it would be because it had tried to save me.

I lifted my wand, pointing it at the two snarling beasts on the ground, but I knew if I tried to hit the werewolf I'd just as likely hit the dog.

I was about to give up hope when a beautiful large stag stepped out from behind the trees. Even more surprising than its presence, the large animal rushed the werewolf, it's antlers pushing it off the dog, who yeled as the its claws scraped at it.

I hurried towards the dog to make sure it was fine, but it barked at me again and then pointed its head towards the castle. It wanted me to run.

"But you're hurt!" I told it.

I don't know why I spoke to him. He was just a stray dog. But there was something almost human like about his eyes and the way he acted.

He actually shook his head at me. Right at that moment, the werewolf cried again.

"Thank you." I said before turning and running back to the castle.

When I finally stumbled into the Gryffindor common room, it was empty, save for a single figure sitting in one of the chairs.

Melissa stared at the fire, looking worried, a deep crease between her eyebrows.

"What are you still doing here?" I asked her.

"Oh, God, Elli!" She said, jumping. She looked around me, as if she expected someone else. "I've just been waiting for Remus. He and Sirius and James-,"

"They're not outside, are they?" I asked sharply.

Melissa seemed to just notice the state I was in. "What happened?" She asked, looking horrified.

"I honestly don't think you'd believe-,"

"What happened?" She asked again, cutting me off.

I bit my lip, but told her everything. About how I'd went outside for fresh air and stumbled stupid and drunkenly into the woods. About the werewolf, and the dog, and then the stag. The frown on her face when I walked in deepened even more when I was finished.

"What did the dog look like?" She asked me, much to my surprise.

"Um, almost black haired. Greyish eyes, but they were weird." I told her, now frowning too. "Almost human. If I didn't know better I would have thought it _was_ human. An Animagus, you know, but I've read the records and there's no one registered as a dog."

Melissa nodded. "It's definitely odd. I'm just glad you're okay. Do you know how lucky you are?"

This time I nodded.

"You should wash up and then go to bed, Elli. You look dreadful." She said, giving me a concerned look. "I'm going to stay here. I promised Remus I'd wait up for him."

I agreed and did as she said. As I was heading back to my room to go to sleep, though, I heard more people enter the common room. I looked outside and the sun was already rising.

Quietly as I could, I crept towards the bottom of the stairs. I peered around the corner and saw Remus, James and Sirius enter.

James was grinning, which I was starting to realize was something that James almost always did. Remus, on the other hand, looked deeply upset, almost to the brink of tears. Melissa jumped up and hugged him. Sirius was holding his arm which I was surprised to note was bleeding heavily. He winced as Melissa touched it.

"I know what you guys are." Melissa said quietly. "Remus told me about himself, but I know you're both animagi."

"You told her that, too, Moony?" Sirius asked, looking angry. "You do realize we could get in a lot of trouble-,"

"He didn't tell me. Elli did." Melissa said, giving them all pointed looks.

"How did she know?" James asked quickly.

Remus looked even more upset. He went and sat on a nearby couch and put his head in his hands.

"She didn't, but she told me what happened. It wasn't that hard to figure out." Melissa said. She soothingly rubbed Remus's back.

"I didn't mean to go after her like that." Remus said quietly. He sounded as though he hated himself. "I don't know what I'd do if I actually hurt her..."

I looked carefully at Sirius's grey eyes. How had I realized it? Maybe it was because I spent a lot of time avoiding looking into those eyes. They were definitely the same eyes I'd seen in the dog, except now they were bigger, wider, less upturned at the corners. The colour was unmistakable, though.

I slipped back upstairs, more than a little shocked at this discovery.

Four times now Sirius Black had saved my life.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh, another really long chapter! Hope you enjoyed it! Leave a review, telling me what you think. It'd be greatly appreciated. :) - C<strong>


	15. Sunsets and Speculations

**Elli's Point of View**

I waited a week. I figured that eventually someone would come clean about it being Remus, James and Sirius in the Forbidden Forest. I'd thought we'd been close enough friends that someone would tell me.

But no one did.

I recounted the story for the Marauders, and they'd all acted as if they had no idea what I was talking about. They winced at the right parts, looked horrified at others. But not once did anyone fess up.

And it hurt. I hated that it did. I always told myself that I didn't need anyone. I _didn't_. But I'd let myself need Remus and Melissa, and they'd both let me down. I should have known it would happen.

All the Marauders were close, and now Melissa was practically one of them, since she was dating Remus. I wasn't close enough to them to deserve this insider information. Even if I was the one who was attacked.

When I realized no one was ever going to say anything, I started pulling away from them. It happened slowly, of course. I would tell them I was busy one night at dinner, or that I had homeowork in the common room.

Today, as I was searching for a place in the Great Hall to sit and eat dinner, Melissa called me over. She gave me a big friendly smile, and I felt guilty. But I shouldn't be feeling guilty. I wasn't the one who pretended I knew nothing about my friend getting attacked by a werewolf.

I racked my brain for an excuse, but I didn't need one. A few seats down from where I was standing, Jordan McLaggen was waving me over.

"Elli, come sit with us!" He called.

I'd only spoken to him a few times before. He was on the Quidditch team with me and I'd chatted with him the night I'd gotten drunk and wandered into the forest. Before that I'd never really given Jordan McLaggen much thought.

But I didn't care. At that moment, he was the excuse I needed.

"Sorry." I mouthed to Melissa, giving her an apologetic look.

"You looked like you needed to be rescued." Jordan said, smiling. He had dimples.

I looked back over at Melissa, who was sitting with the Marauders. They were all watching me, a range of emotions on their faces. Melissa looked hurt, as did Remus. James looked indifferent, though slightly amused, though he always looked amused. Sirius looked annoyed.

"Oh, yeah." I said quickly, realizing that Jordan was talking to me. "I don't really want to sit with them right now."

"I thought they were your friends." Jordan said, frowning.

"They- they were. We had a falling out." I said softly.

"Well," Jordan said, throwing a heavily muscled arm around my shoulder. "If you need a friend, I'm here."

I must have looked uncomfortable, though I didn't mean to, because he removed his arm. "Too forward?" He asked, grinning again. "Sorry, I forget that you're not like most girls."

"What does that mean?" I asked, thinking back to when Sirius had said the same thing to me. He'd said it was because I was uptight.

"Well, you seem to have some self respect. I can't say that about most of the girls around here." He told me, and at that moment Mary sauntered up to Sirius. "For example."

I laughed, though I kind of felt bad about it. No matter what I thought about Mary, I didn't like talking behind her back.

"Elli Mason." Said a tall red haired boy, sliding into the seat next to Jordan. Another boy, this one blonde, sat in front of me. "To what do we owe this honor?"

"Ignore them." Jordan said, rolling his eyes.

I tried to remember who they were. I thought the red haired one was Tyler Vaine. The blonde Andy Midgeon.

"Nice game you played the other night." Andy told me. "We were skeptical at first, of course. I mean, look at you. And you're female! But you did good."

"Thanks?" I said, a little unsure if he was insulting me or complimenting me.

"Really proved to everyone that you made it on the team because of skill and not because you were sleeping with Black." Tyler said while stuffing his face with food.

"Excuse me?" I asked, offended.

"Sorry." Tyler said quickly. "Those were just the rumors."

I moved to sit up but Jordan but a light hand on my arm. "Don't leave because they're idiots." He said quietly. He gave me a pleading look. "Please."

I don't know what it was, maybe the hopefulness in his voice, or that look in his eyes, but I stayed.

"Do you want to do something later?" Jordan asked, leaning towards me so that only I could hear. His breath tickled my cheek. "Just us? Without those morons?"

Was he asking me out? Maybe not on a date, but to spend time, just the two of us. I'd never had a guy show interest in me before and I was a little flustered. But I didn't want a boyfriend, or anything like that. I'd always thought that.

"Yeah, okay." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

I felt heat rush to my face and knew I was blushing fiercely. What was I _doing_? I shouldn't have said yes, but it wasn't like I could just suddenly tell him no.

I ate my dinner without saying much to Jordan, Andy or Tyler. They kept up a steady stream of conversation anyways. Had I actually felt like conversing, I probably wouldn't have been able to get a word in.

When Jordan and I were done eating, he rose and offered me his hand. I took it, letting my pull me to me feet. I expected him to let go after that, but instead he kept his hand around mine, grinning at me.

There was a question in that grin, as if he was wondering if he was allowed to take my hand. I smiled, a little shyly, right back at him. I'd never had a guy want to hold my hand before.

"Do you want to see my favorite place in the castle?" Jordan asked me as we entered the corridor.

"As long as its not the dungeons." I joked.

Jordan laughed. "Like I'd take a pretty girl like you down into the dungeons."

I felt myself blushing again. Was it possible to die from excessive amounts of blushing?

Jordan led me all the way to the seventh floor. I was about to ask what was so great about the spot underneath the Divination classroom when Jordan climbed up to the top of the ladder there and opened the door to the room.

"Breaking into a classroom?" I asked, a little nervous.

"Lighten up, Elli!" Jordan called from inside the room.

I was sick of people saying that to me. I grabbed the ladder and followed him.

"What's so great about this room? I've been in it hundreds of times." I said, looking around as if something interesting was going to pop up out of the shadows.

"It's not the room itself." Jordan corrected, walking towards a door in the room. I'd always wondered where it went but never asked. "It's what it leads to."

Jordan took my hand again. I still felt a littler nervous. What if we got in trouble? And where did that door lead to, anyways?

"Do you trust me?" Jordan asked as we stood in front of the door.

I nodded, but that wasn't entirely true.

"Okay, then don't let go of my hand. Okay?"

I nodded again.

He opened the door and it led out onto what must have been the highest open space in the castle. There was no railing here, instead just a platform that seemed to jut out over the rest of the castle and the grounds.

"It's a little dangerous which is why that door is there. It's got the best view, though." Jordan said, settling himself down on the edge.

I wasn't afraid of heights. I played Quidditch! But this was different. There was nothing holding me up if I were to slip off. It was almost thrilling.

I sat myself down beside Jordan, close enough that I could feel the heat of his body. We sat there for at least an hour, sometimes talking, sometimes not. The good thing about Jordan was that he talked about himself enough that I didn't need to supply information about myself.

"Oh, wow." I said suddenly. The sky had turned a vibrant orange and pink. The sun was setting.

It was like a moment in one of the books I'd read. It was too perfect. Jordan sat up when the sun was gone, replaced by the moon. He offered me a hand up again, and like last time he kept my hand in his.

"Did you like it?" He asked as he led me back down through the Divination room.

I nodded. "How did you find out about that place?" I asked.

Jordan shrugged. "I always wondered what was behind that door, so one day I just of just, um... checked?" He said, looking a little embarrassed.

"So you have a track record of breaking an entering." I said, laughing.

"Don't hold it against me." Jordan said, also laughing.

When Jordan and I got back to the Gryffindor common room it was already late. Not that many people were up.

"For someone who seems so shy, you're a lot of fun to spend time with, Elli Mason." Jordan told me as we stood by the wall that separated the stairs for the girls and boys dorms.

"I had fun too." I told him, and I meant it.

"The next Hogsmeade trip is Saturday. Will you spend the day with me?" Jordan asked, looking up at my with those blue eyes through his dark blonde eyelashes.

"I-,"

"If you don't want to, you don't have to. I'd just like to spend more time with you. Get to know you better." Jordan said shyly.

"I'd love to." I said with a smile.

"Great. I'll see you then." And, throwing a smile at me over his shoulder, Jordan went up the stairs to his room.

I was extremely surprised by how happy I was. Maybe I didn't need a boyfriend, or anyone, but... even for someone as independent as me, having an attractive boy be interested in me felt nice.

"Did you have fun with McLaggen?" Came a low voice from behind me.

I turned to see Sirius, louging on a couch, his arms behind his head and his legs sprawled out. He had his eyebrows raised.

"I don't really see why it's any of your business." I snapped, annoyed by the superior look on his face.

He sat up, his expression suddenly becoming serious. "Don't trust him, Elli. I know McLaggen. He doesn't actually like you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, taking a step back.

Sirius sighed. "I think he's only asking you out because he thinks it'll make me jealous." Sirius said, and I stared at him, waiting for him to laugh and say he was joking. He didn't.

"But that's ridiculous!"

"You're right. Like I'd be jealous that you were dating someone. But I think he's got it in his mind that I like you, which I definitely don't, and after what I did to him, with Jenna... I think this is sort of his way of getting revenge."

"Why are you doing this?" I asked him, my voice full of the hurt I was feeling. "Why are you trying to ruin this for me?"

"I'm not, Elli! I don't want you to get hurt." Sirius said, standing up.

"Then stop hurting me!" I shouted, glad there wasn't many people in the common room. No one turned our way.

Sirius winced. "I don't think you should go out with him Saturday."

"Oh, just because _you_ don't want to be in a relationship you have to try and ruin it for everyone?" I asked, furious and hurt.

"That's not it." Sirius said, and he had a pleading look in his eyes, as if begging for me to believe him.

"So you're saying there's no way a guy could actually _like me_. It has to be some twisted plan to make _you_ upset." I said, my voice low, supressing the anger and hurt that was threatening to explode out of me.

"That's not-,"

"That's exactly what you're saying, Sirius. Why don't you do me a favor and stay out of my life?"

"I'm not trying to hurt you!" He snapped.

"I don't care what you say, Sirius. If you want to be miserable, fine, but don't try to drag me down with you." I said calmly before going upstairs to my room.

I lay on the bed but I was unable to sleep. I was too conflicted.

I'd been so happy earlier! It wasn't as if I was in love with Jordan McLaggen. I just enjoyed his company, and he made me feel special. He'd brought me to his favorite place in the castle and we'd watched the sunset together. If there was ever a more romantic first date, I couldn't picture it.

But had it been a date? And was Sirius right? Was he only dating me because, for some twisted reason, he thought Sirius _liked_ me? That couldn't be true. No one was that foolish. Sirius and I hated each other, and often shouted at each other in front of other people. There was no way anyone could have mistaken Sirius and my's relationship for anything but borderline hatred.

But what he said kept nagging at me, only because I couldn't figure out _why_ he would lie about that. Did he really hate me so much that he would go as far as to try and sabotage my relationship?

I sighed, knowing it was no use to stay up and worry about it. I would just have to wait until I saw Jordan again and confront him. If I didn't, Sirius's words would continue to eat me up inside.


	16. Dates and Disasters

**Elli's Point of View**

The day of the Hogsmeade trip, and my date with Jordan, came faster than I was expecting. It felt as if it was just last night that he'd asked me out. I awoke and looked outside, wondering if it was cold out and if I'd have to wear a sweater.

As any normal late October morning, the ground was covered with frost. The branches of the trees blew in the wind, their leaves laying on the ground at their bases. I sighed. I hated Autumn. Christmas was just as cold but at least snow was pretty. Autumn signified the death of everything living.

I couldn't figure out what to wear. I'd never been on a date before. I knew I wasn't supposed to wear anything too nice, or dressy. Coming from a group home, I didn't have much nice clothing. Finally, I pulled on my low-cut red t-shirt and paired it with a black zip-up hoodie and jeans. At least that way I'd be warm, and it looked casual enough.

I hurried downstairs, wanting to get something to eat before I headed out with Jordan. In the common room I spotted Sirius on one of the couches.

"What are you so dressed up for?" He called.

I looked down. I wasn't really dressed up, it was just that no one had really seen me in anything other than regulated school clothing.

"A date." I said, not looking at him. "With Jordan."

"That guy is a jackass." James, who I hadn't noticed was sitting beside Sirius, told me.

"Funny you should say that, given the fact that one of your best friends happens to be the biggest jackass I know." I said, my eyes narrowing slightly.

"I know." James said with a sigh. "I keep telling Remus that he ought to be nice to people, but he insists on being an asshat."

I couldn't help it, I laughed. I shook my head at him, ignored Sirius, and left the common room. I hurried to the Great Hall and ate a breakfast that consisted of a piece of toast and orange juice. I couldn't eat anything more substantial. I was too nervous.

After that I made my way to the grounds to meet Jordan. I felt extremely nervous now, and wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans. I'd never been on a date before. I'd never even had a guy show any serious interest in me before.

What if we couldn't think of anything to talk about? Of if he found me boring, or worse, annoying?

I sighed, walking out the front doors. I was thankful, at first, for the cold wind that cooled me. I spotted Jordan, standing with Andy and Tyler. I thought he'd meant we'd be alone. Not with his two best friends.

Not that I didn't like Andy and Tyler. When they weren't making crude comments, or inappropriate jokes, they were okay.

"Hey, Elli." Jordan said as I approached them. He wrapped an arm around my waist.

Since I'd never really been close to too many people, I wasn't used to physical contact. Jordan, on the other hand, seemed to love it. He was always touching me. If he wasn't holding my hand, his arm was around my shoulders. If it wasn't around my shoulders, it was around my waist, like right now.

Jordan leaned down, as if to kiss me, but I quickly moved my face to the side. His lips landed on my cheek. I didn't mean to move away from him, but I wanted my first kiss to be special. Not random, and in front of Tyler and Andy.

I looked up to see a flash of annoyance on Jordan's face. I was about to apologize, but I didn't get a chance to.

"You guys all ready to go?" Jordan asked, giving me a squeeze.

I nodded.

The four of us headed for the village. Thankfully, I didn't have to talk much. Between Jordan, Andy, and Tyler, there was barely any chance for me to speak if I had wanted to. Since I didn't, this was a good thing. They kept up a constant chatter and I only had to speak when a direct question was aimed at me.

I was thankful for Jordan's arm around my as the wind bit at my face. I moved closer to his warmth.

When we arrived in Hogsmeade Andy and Tyler started heading in the direction of the Three Broomsticks. The Three Broomsticks was a favorite for Hogwarts students, especially on days as cold as today. Other students who were walking ahead of us were already entering the place.

I thought that was where we would all go, but Jordan started leading me in another direction.

"You guys coming?" Tyler called over his shoulder.

"No, we're going to go to Madam Pudifoot's for a bit, first." Jordan said. "We'll meet up with you later."

Andy and Tyler laughed. "Alright," Andy got out through his laughter. "Have fun."

The tone of his voice made me feel wary. I know of Madam Pudifoot's, of course. It was a hotspot for couples. Since I'd never had a boyfriend, I'd never been in there. Hardly anyone entered without a date.

Jordan pushed open the door, a bell chiming over our heads. I expected him to hold it for me, and was a little surprised when it started swinging back at me. I pushed it back open all the way and followed Jordan.

The first thing I noticed about Madam Pudifoot's was that it was dark. The lights were dimmed. It was probably for ambiance, to make it more romantic. I figured it was actually because the amount of pink in the room would have been blinding in full brightness.

There was booths along the wall, and a cluster of tables that seated two in the middle of the room. It was crowded and slowly getting packed with students.

Jordan led me to a booth in the corner of the room and we settled in on either sides of each other. Jordan's hand enveloped mine over the table.

"Do you like it?" Jordan asked me.

I looked around, trying to find something to compliment.

"It's very dark." I said neutrally. I wasn't saying I liked it or disliked it. "And pink."

"I thought you would like it." He said, smiling.

The truth was, I hated pink. I didn't say that, though. I didn't want to ruin our time.

A plump waitress came up to us, wearing an unflattering and tight pink apron. She gave us a tight, fake smile.

"What can I get you, dearie?" She asked Jordan.

"I'll have a hot chocolate." He said, and looked over the pink menu in front of him. "And a platter of cookies for us to share."

He gave her a charming smile, showing off those adorable dimples of his.

"And you?" She asked, turning to me after writing down Jordan's order.

"Um," I hesitated. I didn't have any money.

"Get what ever you want." Jordan said, leaning back in his seat. "It's on me."

"I'll have a coffee, please." I told her.

"Coming up." She said, walking away from us.

"You like coffee." Jordan noted, raising his eyebrows. "I didn't know that about you."

"There is a lot you don't know about me." I said, as if I was some mysterious woman. I wasn't, really, I just didn't like sharing information about myself.

"I'd like to change that." Jordan said, giving my hand a squeeze.

"What do you want to know?" I asked. I would answer anything that I didn't find too personal.

"What's your favorite thing to do?" He questioned.

"Read." I said immediately. I felt a small smile break out on my face at just the thought. "Anything, really. Romance, adventure, mystery, horror. As long as it's good."

"What's your favorite book?" Jordan asked.

I hesitated. Thankfully, the waitress returned, putting the cookies between us and our drink in front of us. I added the milk and sugar to my coffee, giving myself time to consider the question. I took a sip of the scolding drink, grateful for the warmth that seeped through me.

"Anne of Green Gables." I said finally.

"You know," Jordan said, looking amused. "For someone who likes reading so much, that seemed like a hard question for you to answer."

"I've just never really had to give it thought before." I replied honestly. "I've never had to choose between them. It wasn't something I ever considered. I love all books, really."

Jordan turned that charming smile on me.

"You seem really passionate about it." He said.

"I am. I want to become an author when I'm older. Maybe own a bookstore." I said, smiling wistfully at the thought. "What about you? What do you like?"

"You." He said easily, as if he said things like that everyday.

I blushed, which I found myself doing a lot when Jordan was around. I was just about to ask him the question again, this time insisting on an honest answer, when I heard the door open. Jordan froze. I looked up, following his train of sight.

Sirius strode in, looking more attractive than I'd ever seen him. His school robes looked better on him than most people, but in a leather jacket and a tight, v-necked white t-shirt, he looked good. That wasn't what Jordan was staring at, though. It was the tall, short haired brunette. She had large brown eyes and a slightly haughty, pointed face.

"What's wrong?" I asked Jordan, but he seemed to not have heard me.

His grip on my hand tightened as Sirius and the girl settled into the table closest to our booth, only a few feet away, really.

"Oh, I didn't see you two there." Sirius said, giving Jordan and I a smile that looked more fake than the waitress. His tone was falsely cheery.

Jordan ignored Sirius. "What are you doing, Jenna?" He asked the girl.

Jenna met his eyes for a second and then lowered them, her face turning scarlet.

Jenna... Jenna was the name of the girl Sirius has apparently stolen from Jordan.

"I thought you knew better than to go on a date with him," Jordan spat, glaring at Sirius. "After what happened last time, Jenna."

Jenna finally spoke, her voice cold. "You lost the right to care who I dated when you left me, Jordan."

"What are you doing here, Sirius?" I asked, annoyed and hurt. Was he intentionally ruining my first date?

Jenna turned her cold eyes on me, glaring at me as if I'd insulted her. "Why, are you jealous?"

"What?" I asked, bewildered. "No!"

"What are you two even here?" Jordan asked Sirius.

"To have a nice cup of coffee and to enjoy a delightful conversation." Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "Why don't you pay more attention to your date instead of mine."

Sirius's eyes slipped to mine for a second and he flinched. I hoped he could read the anger and hurt on my face.

"I'm sure you know all about paying attention to other peoples girlfriend, don't you Sirius?" Jordan asked, his hand releasing mine and clenching into a fist.

I felt annoyed. Since they'd walked in Jordan hadn't paid any attention to me. It wasn't that I was attention seeking, I just thought that when you were on a date with someone you were supposed to pay attention to them.

I picked up a cookie off the tray, the only one without pink icing, and bit in. It was chocolate chip. I didn't mind it, but I preferred oatmeal chocolate chip. I found normal chocolate chip was too sweet.

At least now I had something to do, other than sit there.

"What's in the past is in the past, Jordan." Sirius said, giving a wave of his hand. "Let it go. No need to hold grudges."

"Like you didn't ask her out just to bother me!" Jordan snapped, standing up.

"You mean the way you asked Elli out to make me feel what you felt when I slept with Jenna?" Sirius asked. Not one to be intimidated, he stood up too. "Which, by the way, was stupid. If you had any brain in that fat head of yours you'd know that I don't even like Elli. Let alone love her."

"Weirdly enough it seems to be working anyways." Jordan said, smirking.

I was starting to regret eating that cookie. It felt as though it was going to come back up. Had he honestly just said that?

"So you admit it, then?" Sirius asked, also smiling.

"What, no, I didn't-,"

"Will you just stop?" I asked Sirius, my voice quiet, hurt.

"Why are you even here?" Jenna asked, glaring at me again. "Can't you see that neither of them want you? They're fighting over me, not you. You should probably just go."

I felt my stomach clench. Jordan didn't say anything to stick up for me, making me feel worse. I moved to get out of my seat.

"Don't be a bitch to her." Sirius said, turning to Jenna. "She didn't do anything."

"Don't call her a bitch!" Jordan shouted, pushing Sirius.

Sirius barely moved, probably because he was a lot more muscular than Jordan, as was evident underneath his tight shirt.

Sirius caught himself and smiled, a huge, genuine smile. "You shouldn't have done that." He said, shaking his head.

Jordan, realizing he was in trouble, started to pull his wand out of his pocket. He barely had it halfway out when Sirius threw a punch at him. Jordan moved at the last second and the punch connected to his shoulder instead.

Jordan then launched himself at Sirius. The two hit the floor, the chair Sirius had been sitting in caught between them. It shattered as their combined weight hit it.

I stood up, looking around wildly. Wasn't someone going to stop them? I spotted the waitress who'd served us standing in front of another table, looking shocked. She also didn't look like she was planning on intervening any time soon.

"It's kind of hot." Jenna commented. She'd evacuated her seat the second Jordan pushed Sirius, obviously sensing something bad about to happen. "I mean, wands are more affective, of course, but there's something so... raw, and sexy, about two attractive men pummeling each other with their fists."

I glanced at her, my eyes wide. "Are you insane?" I asked her.

Jordan punched Sirius in the face. Blood trickled out of his mouth but he smiled up at Jordan, obviously enjoying himself. At that moment, Sirius pushed up and flipped them over so he was on top. He punched Jordan right back.

Then Jordan, less muscular but much wider than Sirius, used his extra weight to throw Sirius off him. Again, Jordan was on top.

"Stop!" I shouted as Jordan brought his arm back for another punch. I grabbed it, stopping him.

I might not have been big, but I was determined. I pulled Jordan off Sirius, looking around and wondering why no one had stopped to help me. There was enough people around that someone should have.

Sirius jumped up, wiping at his mouth but still grinning. Jordan moved as if to attack Sirius again but I stepped between them.

"Stop." I said, appealing to Jordan, who I figured was more likely to listen to me since he was on a date with me.

"Get out of the way, Elli." Jordan said, not looking at me. Instead he continued to glare at Sirius over my shoulder.

"Please." I said, and Jordan moved as if to push me aside.

Sirius grabbed me from behind and pulled me against him. "Don't you dare try to push her." He said, his voice, for the first time, not full of suppressed laughter.

"Oh, poor thing!" Jenna said in a simpering voice. She rushed up to Jordan and wiped the blood off his face. "Are you okay?"

Jordan looked down at her and grinned. "Don't worry about." He said, pushing a piece of hair off her face.

I stood there, frozen, watching them. God, I was such an idiot.

"Come on." Sirius said, grabbing his jacket and my arm at the same time. I let him pull me outside.

I felt as if I was in a dream. That hadn't actually happened. There was no way... He'd been so nice.

"What happened to you?" James asked, coming out of The Three Broomsticks, followed by Remus, Melissa and Peter.

I finally spoke up, realizing just how angry I was with Sirius.

"He got in a fight." I said bitterly. "While trying to ruin my life!"

"I should have known you were up to no good when I seen you talking to Jenna." James said, shaking his head.

"Jenna? As in the one Jordan McLaggen, the guy Elli's been hanging out with, used to date? Before Sirius slept with her?" Melissa asked, her eyes wide. "What does she have to do with this?"

"Oh, Sirius here," I said, throwing a scathing look at him. "Decided to take her out to the exact same place Jordan brought me. And didn't notice the two of sitting right beside where they sat."

"You didn't." Remus said, looking exasperated.

Sirius looked annoyed. "I was only proving a point."

"What point is that, Sirius?" I asked, turning my back on everyone else. "That you were right? That Jordan only asked me out to make you and Jenna upset? That no guy could actually like me?"

"That's not-,"

"That's exactly what you did!" I shouted. "You made me look like an idiot! I thought Jordan actually liked me! I guess I should thank you for that, at least. I found out what an asshole he was before I actually liked him too much."

"Elli," Sirius started but I cut him off.

"Don't talk to me." I said, my voice low. "I don't think I've met anyone in my entire life who I hate as much as I hate you. I know we fight all the time, but I'd never, ever do something to sabotage something important to you."

"Why are you so mad at me?" Sirius said, looking equally furious. "I was trying to protect you!"

"The only person I need protecting from is you!" I yelled. "I'm going back to the castle. Don't ever talk to me again. Don't ever come near my again. And don't ever try to protect me again."

I turned and left before he could see the tears fall. Of course they did. The cold air made them freeze against my cheeks but I'd stopped wiping them off when I realized it was no use. They fell in a steady stream now.  
>It wasn't that I was heartbroken over Jordan. I was hurt, of course. But mostly I was upset with myself for actually believing he could ever like me. For actually believing there was something about me to like.<p>

And Sirius... I would be happy if I never had to hear his name again. Maybe he was trying to 'protect' me, but all I seen was him ruining something important for me. That was taking it to far. It was one thing for us to yell at each other, a complete other to do what he did.

I felt so stupid. When I finally got to the castle, I went straight up to bed. It was still early, the younger kids still eating in the Great Hall. I didn't care. I was to exhausted emotionally to stay awake.

Surprisingly enough, given everything that had happened today, I fell asleep instantly.


	17. Caring and Not Caring

**Elli's Point of View**

"I'm not going to speak to him." I said firmly.

I was currently walking through the library with James and Lily behind me. It had been over a month since the visit to Hogsmeade. Both October and November had passed, bringing December and a layer of snow on the ground. The library was my favorite spot to be during this month, since the common room was usually filled with people dripping wet from dried snow.

"Come on, Elli, he's sorry." James said. I don't know why he thought that repeating himself ten times was going to make me change my mind, because it wasn't.

I paused and picked up a book. I'd found, over the years, that though the Hogwarts library didn't have many books that were meant to be read for fun, and not for work, if you searched close enough you could find a novel, hidden here and there between textbooks.

Pride and Prejudice. I'd already read it about fifteen times. I put it back on the shelf with a sigh.

"He's not sorry." I said, still not turning around and continuing through the seemingly endless row of books.

"But-,"

"James, stop. Can I talk to Elli alone, please?" Lily said, speaking up for the first time.

I turned, surprised that she wanted to talk to me alone. I'd never really spoken much with Lily before. James looked just as confused as I felt, but with a shrug and a quick kiss to Lily, he walked away.

"Can we sit?" Lily asked, heading towards a grouping of tables.

I followed and sat myself down across from her.

"Look, Elli... I know what you're going through." She said, giving me a knowing smile.

"I'm not sure what you mean." I said honestly.

Lily laughed and her green eyes sparkled. "I know what it's like to have some seemingly big headed asshole ruin your life." She said, and I was surprised to hear the swear word come out of her mouth. Lily looked so... sweet.

"I'm serious." She said, taking my surprised look for disbelief. "James wasn't always... so sweet. He used to think that he'd win my affection my tormenting me."

"I'm glad you both worked through your differences, but I don't understand what any of this has to do with me." I said, trying to word my phrase as politely as I could.

"I know what happened with Sirius. And I also know Sirius, very well. Sure, he's a jackass, but he's also probably the most caring person I've ever met." She said, her face suddenly serious. "You don't know what he's been through. I would tell you, but it's not my place. All I can say is that I know Sirius hurt you. I know his actions upset you, but I also know that his heart was in the right place."

I hesitated, confused. I knew that Sirius and Lily were close because of James. I knew full well that Lily knew him much better than I did. But I couldn't just... Sirius's actions had seriously hurt me. A part of me never wanted to ever forgive him.

But another part...

"How do you know?" I asked Lily suddenly.

I expected her to maybe get offended that I was questioning what she said, but she surprised me by laughing.

"I thought it was obvious." Lily told me. "He's actually apologizing."

Lily caught my confused look. "I've seen Sirius do some pretty unforgivable things, but I've only ever heard him apologize once, and that was to James. Sirius isn't the type of person to say he's sorry unless he really means it."

Lily stood up and I followed, feeling more confused than I'd thought one conversation could me.

"I hope you take that into consideration, Elli. Sirius really isn't as bad as he pretends to be." And with that she left to find James.

I was distracted the entire walk back to the Gryffindor common room. I was still extremely angry about what Sirius had done, but was Lily right? Was he honestly sorry?

It was hard to believe. Yet the fact that I couldn't picture Lily saying those things for nothing kept nagging at me.

I was so distracted that I didn't even notice someone walking out of the portrait as I was walking through it.

"Sorry." I said, looking up. "Oh! Sirius! I was just thinking-,"

"Of more ways to insult me? Can you save them for later? I'm really not in the mood." He said, looking annoyed.

"That's not-,"

"Then what is it, Elli, because you've made it very clear that you're not going to forgive me." He said.

"Well, see, that's the thing. Everyone keeps telling me how I should forgive you, how you're really sorry, and that despite what happened, you really were just trying to help me." I said, not moving from my spot in the middle of the door so that he couldn't leave. "But, weirdly enough, you haven't said anything to me. I keep hearing your sorry's come out of everyone else's mouths, but you've not said it to me."

"Like I said, you've made it clear you don't want my apologies. Why bother?"

"What I don't want is other people apologizing for your actions. I want you to say it, and mean it."

Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his hair, sighing. "I'm sorry, Elli. Okay? I am sorry." He emphasized each word. "I am sorry that Jordan McLaggen is a fucking asshole and that I had take his ex girlfriend on a date to prove it."

"I'm sorry too." I said quietly.

"For what, Elli? What could you possibly have to be sorry for? You're so god damn perfect it's sickening!" Sirius said angrily, looking over my shoulder at nothing.

"I'm sorry for actually thinking you cared enough to be sorry." I told Sirius, my voice so quiet I barely heard it.

"I thought you of all people would understand." Sirius said, suddenly grinning. "Not caring is easier."

"It's easier not to care." I agreed, wondering why I suddenly felt like I'd swallow a brick. I swallowed back the words "Maybe sometimes you can't help but care." and moved out of the way so Sirius could continue through the doorway.

* * *

><p><strong>Sirius's Point of View<strong>

I walked down to the Great Hall to meet Remus, Peter, James and probably Lily and Melissa.

I hated how Elli got under my skin so much. Even five minutes after talking to her I couldn't get her words out of my head. Normally I'd forget everything a girl said almost as soon as she said it.

"What took you so long?" Remus asked as I slid in beside him. I almost didn't even realize I'd made it to the Great Hall.

"What?" I asked, frowning.

"You okay?" Remus asked, taking a closer look at me. "I asked what took you so long."

"Oh, Elli." I said shortly, not really wanting to share our conversation.

"She talked to you, then?" Lily asked, giving me a hopeful smile. I was so out of it I didn't even notice her sitting across from me, and her red hair wasn't exactly easy to miss.

"Talked, yelled, what ever you want to call it." I said flippantly, spooning potatoes onto my plate. "Though I think I was the one doing the yelling this time."

"I thought that after we talked-," Lily started, but I cut her off.

"What did you talk about?" I asked sharply.

"Don't worry, I didn't tell her anything too personal." Lily said, not meeting my eyes. "But what did she say to you?"

"She wanted me to apologize. In person." I said slowly.

"And did you?" James asked. "Because I spent about an hour in that stupid library asking that girl to forgive you."

"Sort of?" I answered, shrugging. "I... I said something about being sorry that McLaggen was an asshole?"

James rolled his eyes and Remus sighed. "What I don't get," Lily said, narrowing her eyes at me. I knew I was in trouble the second she did that. Lily might be one of the nicest girls I'd ever met, but she was also fierce when she wanted to be. "Is why you seem to be so intent on pushing this girl away, when at the same time your actions do nothing but prove that you care about her."

"When have I ever given the impression that I gave a flying-fuck-,"

"When she got hurt in detention, you flipped." James said, pointing at me with his fork.

"And then that game of Quidditch you spent making sure that Lucius Malfoy and his friends didn't attack her." Remus added.

"And then warning her about McLaggen." Peter joined in. "No matter how stupidly you went about it."

"And then there is the fact that, despite how much you both claim to hate each other, I've never seen you pay so much attention to one girl." Lily concluded.

"Are you finished?" I asked them all, stabbing angrily at the piece of meet I'd added to my plate.

Lily looked like she was about to say something else but James hastily cut her off. "We should have a Christmas party at your house."

"What, why?" I asked, my fork halfway to my mouth. That was random.

James shrugged. "Well, my parents are leaving, and Lily won't have anyone to spend Christmas with, either. So then I figured we should just make a celebration of it."

"Fine, but it can only be the Marauder's plus Lily. My house isn't big enough for too many people." I said, shrugging. It sounded better than spending the holidays alone.

"Melissa too." Remus said, and then added quietly, "And Elli..."

"What was that, Moony? I couldn't have heard you right." I said severely, staring him down, as if daring him to repeat himself.

"And Elli." He said more firmly this time. "You heard what she said about the group home. I'm not letting her spend Christmas alone. And neither are you."

"Elli!" Lily called, and I looked up, watching her walk into the Great Hall. She had a book in her hands and, probably the weirdest thing I'd ever seen, she had her hair in a bun, secured with her wand sticking out of it.

Lily turned and gave me a huge smile as Elli approached us. She made sure to sit as far away from me as possible, opting to sit beside James on the other side the table.

"I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come spend Christmas with us." Lily said, giving Elli a tentative smile.

"Spend... Christmas with you." Elli repeated, looking bewildered, as if she didn't understand.

"Sirius is throwing a party, and we want you there." Remus added.

Elli's eyes met mine. "You guys all want me to come?" She asked. I held her gaze until she dropped it, her face turning a slight pink. Everyone else nodded.

"Are we all staying the night at your house?" Lily asked.

"I guess." I said, feeling slightly annoyed for getting dragged into this, but also... weirdly cheerful.

"I'm sure everyone can stay except Peter and Melissa." Remus said. "My parents won't care if I don't come home. I usually stay with you guys anyways."

"Where's everyone sleeping?" Elli asked, and I saw that she blushed even more. Perhaps we were both thinking about that night when we'd shared my bed. She didn't look at me again.

I shrugged. It wasn't my problem.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked softly while everyone else considered sleeping options.

"Why do you ask?" I replied, avoiding her question. I looked down at my plate and realized I'd not eaten much.

"A pretty girl just asked where she's sleeping and you didn't make a single pigheaded suggestion." She said, her eyebrows raised.

"It's Elli. It's different."

"I didn't know any girls were different to you." Lily said.

"_You're_ different." I supplied, but I knew that's not what she meant.

"Yes, but I'm practically like a sister to you."

"Can we drop it?" I asked.

"What ever you say, Sirius." Lily told me, but she looked amused as she joined the others in conversation.

When we all got up to leave the Great Hall, Elli lingered, stopping in front of me.

"If yo don't want me to come, just tell me now. I'll make up some excuse. I don't want you to feel... pressured." She said, clutching her book to her chest. For some reason the action, coupled with the fact that her long hair was, for once, pulled off her face, she looked vulnerable.

I sighed. Part of me wanted to tell her to not come, but a part of me wanted her to come.

"I don't care." I said neutrally. That way I didn't say that I wanted her there, but I also didn't _not_ want her there.

"Yeah, you made that quite clear, thanks." She said, instantly loosing the vulnerable look and turning annoyed.

"No, I meant- just... come, if you want." I said, sliding past her so we didn't have to talk anymore.

* * *

><p><strong>This chapter was kind of short, but the next one should be up soon. Anyways! Leave a review, pretty please! - C<strong>


	18. Where's my pants?

**Elli's Point of View**

The days till Christmas sped by, as they usually did, though for once it wasn't because I was dreading the day.

I was excited for Christmas. I never thought that would happen since I've been in the group home. But I was. This was going to be the first Christmas in seven years that I wasn't spending it alone in the common room while the other few people left behind opened gifts sent lovingly from their parents.

Everyone else who was leaving for the holidays was already gone, but I wasn't schedualed to leave until today, almost a week after everyone else. I grabbed one of my bags and stuffed a pair of shorts and a t-shirt in it, so I'd have something to sleep in, and an extra outfit for the next day.

I stared at the clothes laid out on my bed. Melissa, for some reason, insisted on me borrowing something of hers.

"I'm not letting you wear jeans." She'd said when I'd told her she didn't need to lend me anything. "And I know that's what you're going to do unless I force you."

I sighed, weighing my options. I could not wear the dress, and disappoint Melissa and be the only one not dressed up. Or I could wear the dress...

Okay, there really wasn't any options. I pulled it on. It fit perfectly, as Melissa had promised it would. It was a bright red, I guess it was festive, with sleeves that barely covered my shoulders. The front was lower than anything I owned and I was surprised by how much cleavage was exposed. It wasn't extremely short, though it came to a few inches above my knees. The black heels Melissa gave me were going to be difficult to walk in, I just knew it.

It looked good, I had to admit, but seeing my pale legs was kind of alarming. I wasn't used to it.

The things we let our friends talk us in to...

I wore my heaviest set of robes, knowing that otherwise I would freeze during my walk to Hogsmeade. I was still cold during the long walk. The minute I entered the small Village, I disapparated. I couldn't have done so inside the grounds of Hogwarts, or I would have saved myself from the freezing cold.

The wind was even worse in front of Sirius's small home. There was Christmas lights strung in the windows and I could faintly smell food. It smelled good. It was already getting dark and I hurried up to the door, wanting to get inside.

After knocking twice the door opened, revealing Sirius in black dress pants, a black dress shirt, and a red tie. His dark hair was brushed and fell over his eyes, just short enough that you could still see them.

He looked handsome, but I wasn't going to tell him that. If there was ever a person who didn't need compliments, it was Sirius Black.

I walked in and Sirius let the door close behind me. We both stood their for a few moments, neither of us knowing what to say.

"Just put your robes there." He said, gesturing to a small closet. "Everyone else is in the living room."

Sirius walked off without looking back. I wondered if it would be weird to just keep my robes on, but it was much too hot in the small house. A fire must have been burning somewhere. After hanging up my robes, I tried to tug up the chest of the dress, but it wouldn't go up any higher.

I made my way into the living room. It didn't even look like the same place I'd been last time. The televison had been moved somewhere, as had coffee table. Instead, there was a large table against the wall lined with an assortment of food and drinks. There had been another couch and chair set up so that the walls were now lined with something to sit on.

The lights were dimmed, everything illuminated by the brightly lit Christmas tree in the corner.

Melissa and Lily were deep in conversation on a loveseat. Melissa was in a short black and white polkadotted dress, Lily in a long sleeved green dress that made her eyes look even nicer than usual.

The boys, of course, were dressed similar to Sirius, but he was the only one in all black. Remus, Sirius and James sat on a couch with Peter in a chair right beside them. I thought that fit their friendships. From what I'd seen, Peter was close with them, but he wasn't in on the deep bond I'd seen between Sirius, James and Remus. On the inside, but not fully.

I guess it only made sense that I also only had a chair to sit on, also slightly seperated from everyone else.

"Elli!" Melissa said, smiling at me from her spot beside Lily. Lily looked up and grinned at me. "I knew you'd look great."

I awkwardly stood there as suddenly everyone in the room turned to look at me. I could practically feel Sirius's eyes on me as they slide up from my legs to my face.

I hurried quickly to the one left over chair and sat in it, resisting the urge to grab my robes out of the closet.

"What do you actually _do_ at a Christmas party?" Peter asked after a few moment.

"I don't know, Wormtail." Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "This wasn't my idea, ask Prongs."

"Let's tell stories, then." James said, grinning. "Everyone's favorite Christmas."

Would it be rude to back out of this?

"My best Christmas," Lily said, smiling slightly. "Was when I was seven. Me and Petunia were both allowed to open one present at midnight, before we went to bed. We got matching dolls, and stayed up all night playing with them instead of sleeping."

"My favorite Christmas was when I was ten." James said, still grinning. "I got my first broom. Though I guess that was more of an invenstment on my mothers part than a present. We all know that when I become a professional Quidditch player I'll be rolling in the galleons.

"Isn't it hard to roll with a head that big?" Remus questioned. Everyone laughed, including James. "My favorite Christmas was last year."

"What happened that was special last year?" James asked, frowning. "You spent it with us."

"Exactly. Don't you remember when Sirius hit on your cousin Emily at the party and she dumped the entire punch bowl on his head?" Remus said, and I pictured it and started laughing with them.

"I'll have you know that was all just a show she put on. She came to find me later on, if you know what I mean." Sirius said, smirking.

"What's your favorite Christmas, Sirius?" Melissa asked.

I saw his body tense, but he continued smiling. Everyone else seemed oblivious to his discomfort. For some reason, I felt bad for him. I hastily stood up.

"Sirius, can you show me to the bathroom?" I asked.

Sirius stood up, looking confused. We both knew that I already knew exactly where the bathroom was. He still took the opertunity to get out of recounting his favorite Christmas.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who doesn't like personal questions." I said as he led me through to his bedroom.

"I don't have the best of memories with my family." Sirius said shortly, his tone suggesting that he wouldn't be so friendly if I pushed the topic.

"You do know I don't have to use the bathroom, don't you?" I asked as I stood awkwardly in the threshold of the bathroom.

"I know, but I figured I'd take this time to give you your gift." Sirius said, turning to his dresser and grabbing a wrapped gift. He thrust it into my hand, not meeting my eyes.

"You didn't- I wasn't expecting anything." I said quietly.

"Think of it as my way of bribing you to forgive me."

"Oh, so now you are sorry?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

Sirius looked annoyed and ran his hand through his hair. I noticed that he did that a lot.

"Do you know how hard you are to apologize to?" Sirius asked me, looking slightly annoyed and slightly amused. "Everytime I try to, you say something that makes me want to yell at you instead of ask for forgiveness."

"At least I'm not bipolar." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Bipolar?" Sirius repeated, grinning. "Let's add that to your list of insults, right after asshole and before jackass."

"This is what I mean! One minute you're yelling at me, the next you're giving me gifts, and then you're joking with me, and then you're ignoring me!" I said, resisting to hit him with the present in my hand, which I could tell just by the weight and shape of it was a book.

"You're contemplating violence, aren't you?" He asked, as if reading my mind. "And it's not as if I can help it. You bother me, Elli."

"I bother you." I repeated, glaring at him. "You can't just give a girl a present and then insult her, Sirius."

"Will you just open it?" He said, sounding exhasperated.

I did. It wasn't new, but it was well taken care of. _Define Love_. I read the back. It sounded interesting. For some reason my throat became dry.

"Th-thank you." I struggled to get out, wondering what was wrong with me.

"I read it." Sirius told me, grinning once again. "It's got some really... erotic parts. I figured you'd love it."

I sighed. "Are you ever serious about anything?"

"I'm always Sirius." Sirius deadpanned.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm serious!" I said, annoyed.

"No, you're Elli. I'm Sirius. I know you're blonde, but really, it's not that complicated."

"Will you stop?" I shouted, stepping towards him. "I'm trying to thank you."

"You're welcome. Are we done here?" Sirius asked, his voice suddenly low. This close together I had to almost lean my head back to meet his eyes.

"I don't know why I even bother." I said quietly. "One of these days I'm going to get emotional wiplash from your mood swings."

I shook my head and exited the room, Sirius following closely behind me. Everyone in the living room was grinning as we entered.

"What's so funny?" Sirius asked, looking annoyed.

I followed Melissa's train of sight and spotted it. It was kind of hard to miss. I mean, I don't know how I didn't notice walking in that almost the entire ceiling was covered in mistletoe.

"Just trying to help things move a little quicker." James said, raising his eyebrows slightly.

"I don't get it." I said, frowning.

"You do realize that the bedroom door was open, right? And this place is _small_." Peter said.

"I'm not going to kiss her just because we're standing under mistletoe." Sirius said, glaring at nothing in particular.

"The way I see it ," James said, giving Sirius a look that clearly said he was daring Sirius to kiss me. "You two kiss, and it could go one of two ways: either you prove to yourselves, and everyone else, that you really do hate each other, or you realize you're both secretely in love."

I nearly choked on air. Sirius, surprising me, just shrugged, gently turned me towards him, and, his fingers slightly digging into waist, pressed his lips against mine.

His lips were warm and soft, and surprisingly gentle. It wasn't at all how I pictured my first kiss. I thought it would be with a guy I loved, and not with a group of people standing around.

And yet... it was perfect.

All too soon, or maybe not soon enough, Sirius was pushing me gently but firmly away from him. I looked up and he was grinning at everyone else. I plastered a face look of annoyance on my face, realizing that it had only been perfect for one of us.

"Well, I wouldn't say that I realized my undenyable love for you, Elli, but... my bed's always open, if you want to continue." He said, smirking.

"You're a pig." I spat, wondering why, exactly, his words gave me a sinking feeling in my stumach. "Everyone happy?"

I quickly sat myself back down in my previous seat. Lily rolled her eyes at Sirius, Melissa shook her head. Remus looked as if he was torn between laughing at Sirius and being disappointed in him. Peter, as usual, was laughing at what Sirius had said.

The most surprising reaction, though, was from James. He and Sirius locked eyes and James gave Sirius a hard, serious look.

"Anyone hungry?" Sirius suddenly asked. "Lily and James, though I bet mostly Lily, made an entire turkey."

Everyone nodded or voiced their consent. "I'll help you grab it." James said. I watched as the two of them disappeared into the kitchen.

* * *

><p><strong>Sirius's Point of View<strong>

I resisted the urge to glare at James and turned up the dial on the radio in the living room so that the music was loud enough that James could say what ever it was that he obviously wanted to without everyone listening in.

I pulled the turkey out of the oven, which it was sitting in to keep it warm. James still didn't say anything.

"Turkeys are kind of creepy." I commented as I sat it on the counter. "I mean, where did that big hole that you stuff come from? Are they naturally hollow, or what?"

I turned and James was just leaning against the door frame, his eyebrows raised.

"What?" I snapped after a few moments. I grabbed a knife out of the drawer and held it over the turkey. "You realize I have no idea what I'm doing, right?" I asked, wondering how one carved a turkey.

"Obviously." James replied. "But that turkey seems to be the least of your worries."

I put the knife down turned my back on James, opening the freezer door and grabbing the bottle of vodka I'd put in there not long ago. I poured two shots and offered one to James. He shook his head.

"More for me." I said, downing the first one and going in for the second on.

"So we're not going to talk about what just happened in there." James guessed, pushing off the wall and taking the second shot from me.

"What do you mean?"

"You like her." James said, before downing his shot.

"Have you been under a rock since September?" I asked. "I not only don't like her, I hate-,"

"You can lie to everyone else, and you can lie to yourself, but I'm your best friend." James said, putting his glass back on the counter and motioning for me to refill it. "I won't buy your bullshit so easily, Padfoot."

"What do you want me to say?" I asked, not bothering to fill my glass and just swigging a sip right out of the bottle. I grimaced. I hated vodka, but it got me drunk.

James finished his second shot before answering me.

"Admit it." James said easily. "To me, to her, to yourself."

I laughed. "In case you haven't noticed," I said, pausing to fill his shot glass again and take a sip again. I wipped my mouth with the back of my hand. "She hates me. And I'm not admitting something that's not true."

"Do you know what's going to happen, Sirius?" James asked. I narrowed my eyes at the use of my actual name and not my nickname. It meant that James was going to try to give me a serious talking to. "You're going to continue to pretend that you hate Elli, until one day she actually starts hating you. By that point you'll realize that you actually _do_ like her, but it'll be too late."

"And you're a relationship expert now, Prongs?" I asked, annoyed.

"I'd better be," James said, pulling the bottle out of my hands and taking a long sip from it. "Because I've asked Lily to marry me."

I nearly dropped the bottle as James passed it back to me.

"You're kidding." I said, shaking my head in disbelief.

"I'm not, actually." James said, and he suddenly grinned. "She said yes."

"Congradulations." I said, taking a bigger sip of Vodka than James had. The bottle was half empty already. "This calls for a celebration."

"You're going to get completely trashed, aren't you?" James asked, sighing.

"How else would I celebrate?" I took another long pull of the drink. "Plus, it's a Christmas tradition that I don't plan on breaking. I get completely drunk, make an ass of myself. You get slightly less drunk than me, but go on and on about how much you love Lily. Moony gets drunk too and looses his pants, and your parents threaten to ground us until we're thirty."

"You got another bottle of that?" James asked, opening my freezer.

"Obviously." I said, and James pulled it out of the freezer, popping the top.

"Merry Christmas!" He said, clanking it against mine.

* * *

><p><strong>Elli's Point of View<strong>

About fifteen minutes later James and Sirius returned, both grinning like children.

"Where's the turkey?" Lily asked, standing up.

"I ate it." Sirius said, trying to keep a straight face but ended up laughing, James joining in.

"The whole thing?" Lily asked in disbelief.

Remus rolled his eyes. "You're both drunk out of your minds, aren't you?"

"It's Christmas, Moony!" James said, flopping down on the couch beside Remus and throwing an arm over his shoulder. "Loosen up!"

"Drinks for everyone!" Sirius said, flicking his wand. A few bottles of alcohol sped out of the kitchen and into the living room at an alarming speed.

Lily and I were the only ones who didn't drink. "Someone has got to take care of them when they're all wasted." Lily said, sighing.

"Are they going to need someone to take care of them?" I asked, laughing as James and Sirius starting dancing together.

"Oh, yes." Lily said, smiling at James and shaking her head. "Sirius doesn't know when he's had too much, and will just keep going until he passes out. And James..."

"I love you, Lily!" He shouted over the music.

"He gets like that." She said, standing up. She took a bottle out of James' hand. "I don't think you need anymore right now."

James grabbed Lily around the waist and kissed her sloppily on the cheek.

"Do you have something to drink that doesn't have any alcohol?" I asked Sirius.

"Kitchen." He said, waving his hand.

I stood up and walked there. The music was much quieter here. I sighed and leaned up against the counter. I was reaching up in the cupboard for a glass when someone else grabbed it for me.

"Want it?" Sirius asked, holding it teasingly over his head.

I put my hands on my hips. "Just give it back."

"Come get it." Sirius said, grinning.

I made a feeble grab for the glass, but I was much too short.

"Sirius." I said warningly.

I moved to grab a different glass out of the cupboard, but Sirius blocked my way.

Annoyed, I had to lean on Sirius to reach that high up. The second my hand closed around the glass, Sirius let go and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"What are you doing?" I asked, but for some reason I didn't move away.

"I'm going to kiss you while I'm still drunk, that way tomorrow I won't be held accountable for my actions." He said, brushing a piece of hair off my face.

"What if I say no?" I said, staring up at him.

"You're not going to, are you?" Sirius asked, leaning down.

He moved slowly, giving me enough time to move back if I wanted to. He paused, our mouths so close they almost touched. I could feel his breath, smelling like vodka and something sweet. This close his eyes were a dark grey, like the sky before a storm.

So softly, his lips brushed mine before he pulled back, a question in his eyes.

I answered it by leaning forward and pressing my lips hard against his. Our bodys were pressed tightly together, but Sirius pushed me away from him. I thought I did something wrong until he gripped my waist and turned me so that my back was now against the counter, trapped between his arms.

I didn't care. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. Sirius made a low growling sound and I knotted my hands in his hair, parting my lips. Our tongues met and weirdly enough I didn't mind the fact that he tasted like alcohol.

I could feel my heart pounding, as if it was attempting to jump out of my chest. Sirius, still gripping my waist, pulled me ever closer to him, if that was possible. I started to feel light headed.

I'd pictured my first kiss a million times, and now I was really having it. The kiss Sirius and I shared under the mistletoe was nothing compared to this. Never had I dreamt that a single kiss could be filled with so much wanting. So much _need_. I looked up into his eyes and, as if feeling me looking at him, Sirius pulled away from me.

His eyes were almost black now, and he was panting slightly. So was I. Sirius didn't look drunk anymore.

"Sirius," I said softly, reaching out my hand.

"Don't," Sirius said, flinching. "Don't touch me."

"What?" I asked, my eyes widening. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No!" Sirius said quickly, but I noticed that he was backing away from me. "I did. I shouldn't- I shouldn't have done that."

"And why not?" I asked, taking a step towards him and feeling my stomach sink as he backed away again.

"Because it's never going to amount to anything, Elli."

"I don't care if it doesn't amount to anything, Sirius. I don't regret it." I said before leaving the room so I don't have to watch him flinch away from me anymore.

"Elli!" Remus said as soon as I entered the hallway. He looked around as if panicking. "Have you seen my pants?"

I looked down. He was in his shirt, a pair of boxers, and a pair of socks. After what had just happened in the kitchen I didn't think I'd be able to laugh, but I did.

* * *

><p><strong>There might be some mistakes in this. The spellchecking thing isn't working right now... Forgive me! - C<strong>


	19. Death and Drinking

**Elli's Point of View**

"Elli, can you do me a huge favor?" Lily asked, looking tired.

James and Remus were attempting to fly across Sirius's small house on his normal, un-enchanted broom, and Lily was the only thing keeping them from breaking something, like a bone or a piece of furniture.

"I swear I know the spell to make it fly," James said, holding his wand while Remus held the broom. With a small flick, the tail end burst into flame.

"Sirius is passed out in the kitchen. Can you wake him up and bring him in to bed? I swear, it's like dealing with children." She shook her head and hurried over to James and Remus, both of which were fighting over the broom which was still ablaze.

I looked around, wondering if I could stick the job on Melissa or Peter, but Peter was curled up in the corner and Melissa had passed out on one of the couches. I sighed. Teenagers, wizard or muggle: give them enough alcohol and the same things happen.

I made my way to the kitchen, feeling more than a little tired myself. Sirius was, as Lily had said, passed out in the kitchen. There was an upright bottle of vodka in one of his hands, it's contents completely drained.

He hadn't drunken it all himself, had he?

"Sirius," I said, shaking him, feeling more than a little worried when he didn't stir. "Sirius!"

He jumped up and away from me as if I'd been attempting to kill him or something. He'd had much too much to drink, though, because the second he landed he started to sway on the spot. I rolled my eyes and resisted the urge to say something sarcastic.

"Come on." I said, grabbing his arm.

"I feel sick." Sirius said, but he allowed me to lead him to the bedroom.

"Well, be sick in the toilet, it's only a few feet away." I said, pushing open his bedroom door.

"I feel terrible." He said, flopping hard onto his bed.

"You look terrible." I told him. Well, that wasn't exactly true. I don't think Sirius Black is capable of looking terrible, but compared to usual he didn't look good.

"That statement will never be true." He said, throwing an arm over his face but grinning.

"Why did you drink so much?" I asked while sitting gingerly on the edge of his bed.

"Because I have problems, Elli. Problems that are easier to deal with when I am intoxicated." Sirius said with a sigh.

I snorted in disbelief. "I have issues and I don't get trashed because of them."

"That's because we're extremely different." Sirius said, sounding tired. "You'd rather deal with things and I'd rather avoid them at all costs. It's just another one of those things that make you a lot better of a person than me."

I shook my head and stood up.

"Are you leaving?" Sirius asked.

"Don't sound so upset." I said sarcastically.

"Where are you going to sleep?" He asked, ignoring me.

"I don't know. The couch?"

"Why don't you just sleep in here." Sirius suggested.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, I'm not asking you to sleep with me." Sirius said, annoyed. He rolled over so he was facing the wall. "We've already slept in the same bed before, what's the difference?"

The difference was that last time we slept together had been _before_ Sirius and I had kissed. And he hadn't been extremely drunk. I bit my lip, considering my options.

"I need to change first." I said with a sigh.

I hurried out of the room and grabbed my bag, returning and slipping in to the bathroom to change. I wished I had brought something that covered more skin now that I would be sharing a bed with Sirius.

Why had I agreed?

Because a bed is much better than a couch, I told myself. That was why.

When I returned to the room Sirius was throwing his shirt into the closet and I couldn't help but glance at his uncovered body. Somehow he managed to stay tan, even in the middle of December, and the muscles in his stomach looked hard against the dark skin.

I turned away before Sirius could see me blush. _Why_ did he have to kiss me? Why did things have to change? Well, change for me, anyways. Like Sirius had said in the kitchen, what happened didn't change things for him.

Suddenly I grabbed the large blanket off the top of the bed and a pillow and put them on the floor. Before Sirius could stop me, I laid down.

"What are you doing?" He asked, raising a single eyebrow at me.

I closed me eyes. "I'm sleeping down here."

If I had expected Sirius to protest, I was let down. He didn't say a word. The light flicked off and I rolled over. I waited to hear Sirius enter the bed but he didn't. I laid there, wondering what, exactly, he was doing.

When strong hands lifted me up and gently placed me on the bed I got my answer.

"I told you I was sleeping on the floor." I protested.

The blanket I'd put on the ground now lay across me.

"Elli, for once in your life can you not be painfully stubborn?" Sirius asked me. "Because I am going to have a sever hang over in the morning and all I want to do is sleep. Just shut up and lay there, okay?"

I didn't respond but staid where I was. The bed was much more comfortable than the floor.

The next day I awoke because someone had come barging in Sirius's room.

"Turn off that stupid light!" Sirius snapped angrily, throwing an arm over his face. I sat upright, staring at the door.

James stood there, grinning from ear to ear.

"I didn't know the party moved on to the bedroom." He said slyly.

"Shut it, James." Sirius said warningly.

"Fine, I'll drop it for now, but someone is at your door." James told Sirius.

I removed myself from the bed, stretching and shivering a bit as my body got used to the lack of heat that I'd had when I had a blanket and Sirius to keep me warm.

Sirius got up, too, running a hand through his bedhead.

"Who the hell could be at the door?" Sirius asked while pulling a sweater on.

Surprisingly, Sirius tossed a sweater in my direction. "You'll freeze in that." He told me.

I gratefully pulled the sweater on. It smelled good, exactly like Sirius. That fact annoyed me so much that I would have taken it off if I wouldn't have froze.

"So, Elli," James said, leaning on the door frame. "I thought you were a woman of virtue, of standards. And I thought you _hated_ Sirius."

"We didn't sleep together, jack ass." Sirius mumbled, pushing past James.

"You didn't?" James asked, following him out. I went with them. "But she was in your bed."

"Shocking, isn't it?"

"You're moody today." James noted, turning to me. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" I said, torn between laughing and being offended.

Everyone else, Melissa, Remus, Lily and Peter, we in the kitchen sitting at the table. I joined them while James and Sirius opened the door.

"Can I help you?" Sirius asked who ever it was at the door.

"You're Sirius Black?" A deep male voice questioned.

"Yes, who are you?"

"My name is Jorkin Hopkirk. I work with the Ministry."

"Have I done something wrong?" Sirius asked, sounding annoyed.

"No, no you haven't. I was wondering if I could come in and have a word?" The man asked in a gentle tone.

The next minute Sirius was leading a short, fat, balding man into the kitchen. He snapped his fingures and conjured up a chair, which the Ministry worker slide into, looking deeply uncomfortable.

"I was hoping to speak to you in private." He said, glancing at everyone in the room wearily.

Sirius jumped up on the counter. "What ever you have to say you can say in front of them."

The man nodded and pulled out a large beige envelope from his jacket pocket. He opened it and took out a few peaces of paper. Sirius poured himself a cup of coffee while still sitting on the counter.

"In the account of your mothers death, everyone she owned, including the house, number Twelve Grimmauld Place, are to go to your brother." The man said, reading the contents of the paper.

I felt a deep, sinking feeling in my gut.

"How shocking." Sirius said sarcastically while sipping his drink.

Jorkin looked up, a frown of concern etched on his face.

"In the account that your brother is not alive to claim these possessions, they are left to you, her youngest son." The man continued.

"I'd have thought she'd rather the place be burned down than give it to me." Sirius said, jumping down off the counter. "But may I ask why this is important?"

"Don't you know?" Jorkin asked, looking astonished.

"Know what?" Sirius asked while his back was turned to Jorkin and everyone else.

"Your mother- she- she's dead." Jorkin said in what was probably the kindest way he could manage.

Sirius's back stiffened, but when he turned back to face everyone his expression was calm. You'd have thought Jorkin just told him that it was going to snow tonight, or something equally normal.

No one seemed to know what to say, except James.

"When?" He asked, moving, surprisingly, to Lily's side, away from Sirius. I'd have thought he'd want to comfort his friend, but he didn't seem inclined to go anywhere near Sirius.

"Three days ago." The man said quietly.

"Why are you here?" Sirius asked, sounding annoyed but not devastated, or even sad in the slightest. "Shouldn't you be talking to Regulus? Like you said, the horrid woman didn't leave me a thing, and I honestly don't want anything."

"Well, see, that's the other reason I'm here. The Ministry has done a full investigation and... I'm sorry to say, but we have very much reason to believe that he's also deceased."

This blow seemed to have just as much effect on Sirius as the first. The only indication that he was even in the slightest bit upset was his hands, which were balled into fists.

"So, what? I get everything? The house, the stuff? I don't want it. Sell it, do what ever you want with it." Sirius said, not meeting anyone's eyes.

"Impossible. There's magical properties in the contract and only you can enter the house right now." Jorkin told Sirius. "It can't be sold to anyone, either."

"But I don't actually have to go there, do I?"

"Well, no, you don't _have_ to-,"

"Great. I want nothing to do with it. Thank you for your time, have a wonderful day." Sirius said, making it clear that Jorkin was no longer welcome.

Jorkin stood up, looking confused but not at all like he was going to object to leaving. Before he exited the kitchen he places an old looking set of keys on the table.

"Goodbye." He called before leaving the house.

Everyone sat rooted to their spots, waiting for Sirius to say something, or do something, or to react in some way at all.

"I'm going to bed." He said at once. "When I wake up, I don't want anyone here."

With that, he stormed out of the room and his bedroom door slammed.

"Shouldn't someone go after him?" I asked, looking at Remus and James.

Both of them shook their heads. "That's how he deals with things, Elli." James said, looking upset. "Anyone trying to help would just make him angry."

"But he's got to be upset-,"

"What you need to understand," Remus said, standing up and taking Melissa's hand. "Is that Sirius hated his family. I don't mean that they fought a lot but still loved each other, I mean that he truly, honestly, deep down _hated_ his mother. He probably is upset about her death, but that probably only makes him angry at himself. He just needs time to cool down. By the time term starts he'll be fine."

I stared at Remus, shocked. How could he be so willing to let Sirius deal with this on his own? He needed someone right now, a friend, anyone, but none of his closest friends were making a move to help him.

"So what do you suggest we do?" I asked, my tone angry.

"Just as he asked. Leave. Staying isn't going to help him at all, it'll only make it worse." James said, and he and Lily exited the kitchen.

"You both agree?" I asked Peter and Remus.

They both nodded. I turned to Melissa.

"I don't know him that well." She said quietly. "If they say it's best just to leave him, maybe we should."

I sighed but realized there was no point pushing my opinion. I couldn't help Sirius, because he and I didn't have that kind of relationship. If James and Remus were leaving, that was that. There was nothing else I could do to help him.

"Shoot, my bag is in the room." I said, following everyone else to the hall, where they pulled on their jackets and shoes.

"Are you all going back to school?" James asked.

Melissa, Remus, and Peter nodded.

"Lily and I are spending the last two days at my house. If Sirius contacts any of you and needs me, just send me an owl." He told everyone before he and Lily left the house and disaperated.

"I'll meet you there." I told Melissa and Remus. "I've got to get my stuff."

"See you soon, Elli." Melissa said.

When they were gone, I slowly made my way towards Sirius's bedroom. I didn't want to go in there and bother him. Perhaps I should just wait and let Sirius bring my bag to Hogwarts when he returned, but what if he didn't think to grab it?

I knocked lightly on the door.

"I said to leave, James." Sirius said, sounding muffled, as if he had a pillow or a blanket on his face.

"It's not James." I replied, my voice quiet.

The door opened and Sirius stood there. I stumbled backwards at the look on his face. No matter how many times we fought, no matter how many rude, hurtful things we'd said to each other, he'd never looked at me with such hatred before.

"I-I-I just needed m-my bag." I stammered, avoiding looking into those grey eyes which, right now, were so darkly clouded they were almost black.

Sirius disappeared for a second and returned with my bag. I flinched as he thrust it into my hands. At my action, Sirius looked as if he was going to apologize, but after a second he just turned around and shut the door on my face.

Knowing that there was nothing I could do to help Sirius, and that my presence only seemed to upset him more, I turned on the spot, grabbed my coat, and hurried from the small house and back to Hogwarts.

The days passed and Sirius didn't return to school. James and Lily returned on the thirtieth, two days before most people returned from Christmas holidays.

"Sirius back?" James asked nonchalantly, but I could tell from the look in his eyes that he was worried.

I shook my head. Lily put a comforting hand on James's arm.

"I'm sure he'll be back tomorrow. If not, we'll go see him." She told him, her voice gentle. She, too, must have sensed his worry.

They hadn't had to go seek out Sirius, for the next day he showed up. He strutted into the common room, a bag in his hand and a grin on his face. There was nothing of the angry, upset boy I'd seen just the other day. Instead, he looked as if nothing had happened.

Melissa was celebrating New Years with us, so James, Lily, Remus, Peter, she and I were all crowded around a small corner of the Gryffindor common room. When Sirius came over, he flicked his wand and the table that sat between the two couches we were occupying disappeared.

He emptied the bag he was holding onto the ground. There was an assortment of candies, cakes, any kind of snack you could think of, along with numerous bottles of alcohol, party hats, and even fireworks.

It was a good thing no one else had stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas or we'd all likely get in trouble.

"Happy New Years." Sirius said.

"Where'd you get all this?" Remus asked, helping himself to a cake.

"Bought it." Sirius said, pulling a piece of parchment out of his robes. He handed it to Remus. "Turns out, I inheirited a lot of money."

We all watched as Remus read the paper. His eyes widened. "I didn't know your parents had that much money."

"Neither did I." Sirius said, shrugging and popping open a bottle of alcohol. He took a long swig of it. "Cheers."

If Sirius noticed the many pairs of concerned eyes on him, he ignored them.

"I'm going to get something to mix that with. We can't all handle out alcohol like you, Padfoot." Remus said, standing up.

"I'll come with you." Melissa offered.

While everyone watched them go, I took my wand out of my pocket.

"Pass it on." James said, holding his hand out for the bottle.

"Get your own." Sirius replied, tossing James a brand new bottle.

So he was planning on drinking that entire thing himself?

"I bought a flying motorcycle." Sirius told James after a few minutes.

James, who had been taking a sip of alcohol, nearly spit it back out. "You did what?"

"Bought a flying motorcycle. Some guy at the Hogs Head wanted to get rid of it, so I told him I'd take it off his hands for him."

"But that's illegal." Lily said, frowning slightly.

"You could get in a lot of trouble." I agreed.

Sirius shrugged. "They're not going to throw me in Azkaban for a flying vehicle, especially if I claim I didn't know it was enchanted to fly when I purchased it."

Remus returned a few moments latter, both he and Melissa had their arms filled with bottles of butterbeer and pumpkin juice.

Half an our later everyone was starting to get a little tipsy, even Lily. I seemed to be the only one not drinking.

"You forgot this." Sirius said, dropping his Christmas present to me in my lap.

I looked down at it, then back up into his eyes. They were the regular grey again, not clouded or frightening. Sirius sat down on the couch next to me, leaning back and closing his eyes.

The bottle of alcohol was clamped tightly in his hands.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him, not turning to look at his face.

"Absolutely wonderful." Sirius said, slurring slightly.

Without thinking, I grabbed the bottle out of Sirius's hand.

"If you wanted some you could have just asked." Sirius said, laughing.

I ignored him and pulled out my wand, waving it at the bottle. Seconds later, it was entirely empty.

"What did you do that for?" He asked, glaring at me.

"Do you _want_ to get alcohol poisoning?" I asked.

"A minute until midnight!" James called loudly.

Both Sirius and I turned to see him and Lily both giggling and dancing.

"You shouldn't have done that." Sirius told me, looking annoyed.

"Why? So you could drink more and pass out again?" I snapped.

"Who says you have any right to tell me what to do? It's not like you're my girlfriend. You're not even my _friend_." Sirius snapped right back. "You're just in insufferable, stuck up person who thinks you're so much better than everyone else. Well, Elli, news flash: you're not. So back off."

"Sorry for caring about what happens to you!" I told him, standing up.

In the background I could hear the others counting down from thirty.

"Oh, so you care about someone other than yourself now?"

"Do you?" I asked Sirius, stepping closer to him as he stood up. "Do you care that anyone _worries_ about you?"

"I'm not the kind of person you should care or worry about." Sirius told me, his eyes trained on mine.

"Why not?" I asked, this time my voice not sharp at all, but soft and low.

"Because," Sirius said, leaning down and whispering in my ear, making me shiver. "No matter what you do, I won't ever return those feelings."

I stepped back, staring into Sirius's eyes. He wasn't smiling, or glaring. He was just staring steadily back at me.

Everyone around us broke into happy cries of, "Happy New Year".

"Happy New Year, Elli." Sirius said, smirking.

Not for the first time, I was torn between slapping Sirius or bursting in to tears of hurt and frustration. I opted, instead, to just turn away from him.


End file.
